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Quote #3014 (+8) [ 2005-10-05, 21:29 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Erve> ibbrembo
<Baker> Thats the new Apple product isn't it?
<Baker> iBrembo
<Erve> yeah, internet brakes
<wild`> what will they think of next, an iBenzor?
<Freaek> iTron
<wild`> that's tIron :P
<Erve> hahah
<Freaek> good point
<Erve> an internet iron
<Erve> oh the ironing

Quote #2608 (+9) [ 2005-02-25, 03:24 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Iroquois> Computers? In my day there were 150 of us using abacus in middle of 't road

Quote #1201 (+6) [ 2003-10-22, 23:33 ] [ + | - | X ]

<RTG> ah i saw Prince last night
<Fod> uh oh
<Fod> did you slap him with your cock?
<RTG> not close enough
<Fod> he was more than 3" away?

Quote #1409 (+14) [ 2003-12-03, 16:51 ] [ + | - | X ]

<CapnChron> Yea... I went and watched a movie
<CapnChron> Tried to get up
<CapnChron> Couldn't
<CapnChron> So I got mum to pull me off
<yale_work> ahahahahahaa
<CapnChron> and bang.. it hurts and has been hurting since.

Quote #111 (+4) [ 2002-11-21, 05:12 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Wolff> i could be gay, ive just never found the right guy

Quote #4321 (+5) [ 2008-05-25, 16:03 ] [ + | - | X ]

<sha0> should i use the 'apply online' section on seek.com.au or should i email my resume to the email in the advert?
<Rainwulf> you should wrap it inside a brick
<Rainwulf> and window browse it
<Rainwulf> smtp via glass.window.com

Quote #989 (+7) [ 2003-09-02, 20:47 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Tazmin> my fone got flogged 2day
<Tazmin> im just pissed about the sim card...dun care about the phonw
<Tazmin> some of those numbers i shall never be able to get back :(
<Chastity> tsk tsk ppl who rely on technology :-P
<Tazmin> pffffttt,chas my phone was like my other brain
<RoSWeLL> so your phone was like a penis is to a male ?
<Chastity> that's even more scary :-P
<RoSWeLL> guess i can understand the logic there

Quote #3402 (+17) [ 2006-06-11, 23:45 ] [ + | - | X ]

<thetron> Honda is to "isn't it nice of things that just work" , As to Jensen button "My cars on fire"
<TheWedgie> thetron, you are to english what Ivan Milat was to backpacking.

Quote #4292 (+5) [ 2008-04-01, 17:00 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Deanodrvr> geez, i wonder what ebay nigeria would be like?
<Deanodrvr> 'please send it to my uncle, who's the prince' 'no way, my uncle's the prince too'
<Deanodrvr> 'does yours have 3 million in an overseas bank account?' 'no, he has 4 million, send me your details and i'll share it with you'

Quote #961 (+5) [ 2003-08-28, 20:00 ] [ + | - | X ]

(@Skitzo) i like girls with small hands because it makes my cock look big

Quote #464 (+8) [ 2003-04-14, 01:19 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Draffa> it's sad. When I was 14/15/16, the hottest women were 25. Now that i'm 25, the hottest girls are 14/15/16 :(

Quote #2994 (+12) [ 2005-09-21, 01:42 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Warhamster> sigh, one of these days I'm going to go into Bern's TDS and go "Hi Bern, I'm Warhamster", and he's going to pull out a baseball bat and beat the living shit out of me
<Agg> be sure to film it

Quote #1845 (+5) [ 2004-04-16, 23:34 ] [ + | - | X ]

<chubba> mazzanet: i just dont tolerate bullshit from cocksmokers
<chubba> i.e. yourself

Quote #4059 (+9) [ 2007-03-17, 21:56 ] [ + | - | X ]

<biatch> Would it be weird of me to blowdry and straighten my hair at work?
<Ze> yes
<iro> I'd say yes.
<Ze> I'd say fuck yes
<dembowns> which hair?

Quote #2677 (+4) [ 2005-04-11, 23:06 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Temjin> ffs, so many pm's to reply too...
<Kaos`> I dont have any pms :'(
<Falkor> i'd hope not, your male right?

Quote #1135 (+60) [ 2003-10-15, 07:49 ] [ + | - | X ]

<CapnChron> MY GOD!!!
<CapnChron> I'm soo gonna fucking kick my sister out of the house
<CapnChron> She's a paradise
<CapnChron> erm
<CapnChron> Parasite!
<@Frag[W]> LOL
* @Frag[W] falls over.
<CapnChron> I feel voliated now!
<CapnChron> Yesterday my sister says she's having a friend over because our parents ain't here for few days.
<CapnChron> Right..
<CapnChron> This morning... I came home from work
<CapnChron> about 6:45am
<CapnChron> I go upstairs.. There's 2 kitchens
<CapnChron> One downstairs, one upstairs
<CapnChron> I'm like..
<CapnChron> Fuck man
<CapnChron> this is gross
<CapnChron> happened to me TWICE@!
<CapnChron> Right.. This girl!
<CapnChron> She's sitting on the stool eating breakfast looking at the view
<CapnChron> I'm like "Damn... She's wearing panties and a pink shirt
<CapnChron> I'm thinking sexy thoughts what I want to do with her
<CapnChron> "hot ass. I'd tap that!"
<CapnChron> All that shit you guys would think when you see some hot ass
<CapnChron> I go to the fridge to get a milkshake to join the girl
<CapnChron> Guess who I see walks into the kitchen
<CapnChron> Her fucking friend
<CapnChron> I'm like "wtf"
<CapnChron> She says hello
<CapnChron> I go "Hi..." Looked over to this girl...
<CapnChron> Eww
<CapnChron> i'M SICK
<CapnChron> I thought sexy thoughts of my fucking sister again!
* CapnChron jumps off from his bedroom window
<CapnChron> TWICE!!!
* CapnChron feeds his sister shitloads of food
<CapnChron> Get fat bitch!
<@Lone[Zz]> dude ... that's going straight to ugbox

Quote #24 (+10) [ 2002-10-25, 07:54 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Dopefish> there is sometimes a denial stage in drinking
<Agg> no there isn't!

Quote #3322 (-2) [ 2006-04-11, 01:12 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Daemo> if you cant find poo on the internet you really cant be looking hard enough

Quote #1696 (+8) [ 2004-02-28, 00:52 ] [ + | - | X ]

<thetron> MadHatter trying to sell your bogan porn overseas?
<PsychoMatt> haha
<PsychoMatt> orrrr giz a root ayy ya cun
<MadHatter> looking at buying a car actually
<predder> what does MadHatter the mechanic look for in a car
<Agg> spare change

Quote #2447 (+3) [ 2004-12-23, 12:23 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Fod> wow
<Fod> some guy on the forums can eat 24" of subway
<Fod> that's quite an appetite
<Crudmuffin> yeah
<Fod> a 6" fills me right up
<Fod> and if you quote that out of context, i'll track you down and kill you

Quote #1904 (+8) [ 2004-04-30, 23:58 ] [ + | - | X ]

<tron|ZzZ> How do you get rid of a L5 bridge mod?
<tron|ZzZ> lightly scraching it off?
<Hunter> use c4
<Hunter> often used to destroy bridges.

Quote #2761 (+5) [ 2005-05-17, 16:54 ] [ + | - | X ]

< henrik_z> why the fuck, exactly, do Canon Australia think heavily compressed distorted cockatoo noises playing automatically will make me want to continue looking at their site?
< radish> cos only a galah would buy a canon

Quote #2228 (+10) [ 2004-08-08, 23:33 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Falkor> Redback, fark... on the tip of my tongue..
<Falkor> err. the name of the song that is.
<Redback> you want me to do what on the tip of your tounge?
<Falkor> yeah yeah.. shutup..

Quote #2669 (+10) [ 2005-04-05, 19:29 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Jedi_Vader20> bit of amusement from class today: Our teacher was discussing our group assignments. "Now for your groups, three is a good number, two is too few, four is too much." (someone mutters from across the room) "three shall be the number of counting, and the number of counting shall be three." (giggling) "five is right out!" (class cracks up)

Quote #2397 (+4) [ 2004-11-22, 18:54 ] [ + | - | X ]

<mazzanet> haha
<mazzanet> i love this camera manual
<mazzanet> "Problem: The power is off. Corrective action: Press the power button."
<mazzanet> "Problem: The batteries are loaded incorrectly loaded. Corrective action: Reload the batteries correctly."
<mazzanet> "Problem: The LCD is exposed to direct sunlight. Corrective action: Block the sunlight with your hand."
<mazzanet> "Problem: There are no pictures on the card. Corrective action: Record pictures."
<mazzanet> "Problem: The memory gauge is full. Corrective action: Wait until the memory gauge decreases."
<mazzanet> captain obvious strikes again!
<enigma> "Problem: Mazzanet is repeating himself into different channels. Corrective action: /ignore."

Quote #1823 (+10) [ 2004-04-12, 19:10 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Rage> you disturb me Fod.
<Fod> sometimes i disturb myself
<Fod> and all too often it ends up on ugquotes

Quote #1469 (+4) [ 2003-12-31, 14:33 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Firemoth> Hmm, I think I'll send a postcard to my new sponser child. :D
<Agg-> postcard of what?
<Agg-> send him a picture of a big juicy steak.
<Agg-> man, i'm so going to hell.
<Gibbon> Half Eaten

Quote #2425 (+9) [ 2004-12-12, 17:18 ] [ + | - | X ]

* ProFX looks for other posts challenging my immense network resources
* ProFX (Pro@ProFX.net) Quit (Ping timeout for ProFX)

Quote #1738 (+8) [ 2004-03-11, 00:34 ] [ + | - | X ]

<adi> a win xp gnome theme is the most downloaded per day
<adi> art.gnome.org
<adi> ROFL!! i just installed the winXP theme, and i selected it, and gnome crashed!! they managed to get the windows theme just perfect!!

Quote #4239 (-4) [ 2007-11-03, 21:08 ] [ + | - | X ]

<@Wayne> I see lightning
<V8R[zZz]> Wayne: been there, done that already tonight
* @Wayne wants a storm
<AngelMoo> do a rain dance wayne
* @Wayne dances around erotically
<AngelMoo> no no no
<AngelMoo> that will scare the rain *away*
<@Wayne> Good point, it is even scaring me
<@Sniper4800> damn it now the drought will continue for at least another decade Wayne

Quote #1410 (+16) [ 2003-12-03, 18:39 ] [ + | - | X ]

* HunterSD sets mode: -dickhead
* HunterSD was kicked by Squigy (-Dickhead Activated)

Quote #4271 (+2) [ 2008-02-15, 04:31 ] [ + | - | X ]

<hpengy> i'm a moth
<hpengy> i mean
<hpengy> I'm off
<captin nod> you like to bang into light bulbs?
<hpengy> you should see my apartment
<hpengy> it's got a low-hanging light
<hpengy> i hit it all the time

Quote #176 (+12) [ 2002-12-18, 11:37 ] [ + | - | X ]

*** Narcolepsy is now known as YaleNarc
*** Yaleman is now known as NarcYale
<NarcYale> Goofy[LaG]: We are borg. Join with us...
<NarcYale> Put down your weapons, resistance is futile...
*** NarcYale is now known as NarYalGoof
<NarYalGoof> Join us Kitt3n, resistance is futile...
*** YaleNarc is now known as YaleNarKit
*** sniper1400 sets mode: +m
*** NarYalGoof is now known as NrYlGooSni
*** sniper1400 sets mode: -m
<NrYlGooSni> Join us, sniper1400...
<Quadbox> I wanna be assimilated too!
*** YalNarKit is now known as YlNrQuKit
<Quadbox> w00t!

Quote #23 (+3) [ 2002-10-25, 07:53 ] [ + | - | X ]

<MissKitty> You wanna dog me behind my back
<MissKitty> do it to my face pls
<Kittie> excuse me?
<Kittie> ?
<MissKitty> [01:06] <Sciby> kittie: Feel free to distribute naked pictures like MissSatine did though. *ahem*
<MissKitty> [01:06] <Kittie> miss slutine?
<Kittie> yeah? and?
<MissKitty> Kindly do it to my face or not at all
<MissKitty> ok little girl
<Kittie> not my fault ur a slut
<MissKitty> What is your definition of a slut?
<Kittie> you
<MissKitty> No wonder I am a slut in your eyes then
<Kittie> slut Pronunciation Key (slt)
<Kittie> n.
<Kittie> A woman considered sexually promiscuous.
<Kittie> A woman prostitute.
<Kittie> A slovenly woman; a slattern.
<MissKitty> I am aware of the dictionary term for slut
<MissKitty> I do not howevere fit into that

Quote #311 (+4) [ 2003-02-11, 10:21 ] [ + | - | X ]

* Dedge looks at the satellite on his roof
<Gibbon> dude, you're lucky it didn't flatten the place when it landed

Quote #3396 (0) [ 2006-06-06, 20:55 ] [ + | - | X ]

<monoxide> if i had a small penis id use one too
<monoxide> :D
<porky> indeed
<Remote> yeah well... having a small penis is something I ahve to live with every moment of my life
<Remote> you and your threesomes.
<monoxide> i think im getting your email
<monoxide> :(

Quote #1226 (+3) [ 2003-10-27, 14:16 ] [ + | - | X ]

* echelon throws a wrench at Saga
* Saga (remunerate@dsl-203-113-240-200.TAS.netspace.net.au) Quit (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
<Nozz> Oooer
<Nozz> you killed him
<Nozz> Must've got him fair in the head

Quote #2493 (+8) [ 2005-01-14, 09:22 ] [ + | - | X ]

<knowsfords> carrot, lettuce, tomator
<Crudmuffin> you say tomator, i say tomato

Quote #4201 (-3) [ 2007-08-20, 07:57 ] [ + | - | X ]

<scythe> you need to break less LemMinG
<LemMinG> indeed i do, problem is that that involves doing less fun things
<LemMinG> and I like doing the fun things
<SgtMjrZzZz> morning
<LemMinG> sleep well?
<scythe> couldn't you just do the fun things without the breaking?
<SgtMjrZzZz> meh :P
<LemMinG> I do that on a regular basis scythe, it's just sometimes the fun things get out of hand
<scythe> you need bigger hands then

Quote #3309 (+9) [ 2006-04-01, 11:19 ] [ + | - | X ]

<biatch> Now to find something to do today
<Agg> watch ch10 like everyone else, biatch :)
<biatch> What's on ch10?
<Agg> f1gp
<Agg> ALL WEEKEND
<outy> hehehe
<biatch> Yukky
<Agg> pretend they're horses
<Agg> look, the red horse passed the white horse! oh no, the green horse crashed into the wall and broke its front legs off!
<Agg> maybe not.
<outy> LOL

Quote #4358 (+1) [ 2008-08-01, 14:58 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Elmo> yay..crashed in the same spot again
<Elmo> fuck you e-tax..fuck you
<enigma> stop trying to enter ";DROP TABLE TAX;" as your income then :P

Quote #2552 (+8) [ 2005-01-31, 22:23 ] [ + | - | X ]

<JesterX> hot chick hot chick hot chick hot chick hot chick hot chick hot chick fat guy
<JesterX> SPOT THE OCAUER

Quote #118 (+1) [ 2002-11-23, 01:30 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Frag|BBL> dear god, there is 77 gay channels on oz.org
<iconoclast> cav must be busy then
<iconoclast> I dont know how he fits those 130 windows on his screen :O
<Frag|BBL> cav is cav@dialup-1-690.brisbane.gayrouter.com.au * innocent
<Frag|BBL> cav on #gayboyz #gaygaygay #gayisgood #iamgay #gayness #allthingsgay #imnotreallygay #gaymenow

Quote #624 (-4) [ 2003-06-04, 22:16 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Jester> oh man i was just signing Aqua CandyMan
<Jester> im so retarted

Quote #40 (0) [ 2002-10-28, 07:13 ] [ + | - | X ]

*** sabretooth changed topic to 'http://www.overclockers.com.au/weekend/ (rego and payments close this week!) - HAPPY BDAY KYOCERA! | <Cav> WhiteyFord: i am the arse of this rooms homosexual'
<WhiteyFord> dont want to be associated with Cav all my life
*** Darkness changed topic to 'http://www.overclockers.com.au/weekend/ (rego and payments close this week!) - HAPPY BDAY KYOCERA! | <Cav> i am the arse of this rooms homosexual jokes :('
<Darkness> *nod*
<WhiteyFord> woo!

Quote #4109 (+3) [ 2007-05-06, 00:45 ] [ + | - | X ]

<biatch> is there any truth to that dreams-mean-stuff stuff!?
<Agg> biatch - natalie portman better hope not!
<Agg> coz some of the whacky stuff we get up to in my dreams, hoo boy.

Quote #1194 (+1) [ 2003-10-22, 01:18 ] [ + | - | X ]

<pace[W]> is it 5:30 yet
<Norgs> pace[W]: 4:16
<pace[W]> crap
<Norgs> whats wrong with your PC clock?
<pace[W]> i was hopeing it was wrong
<Norgs> hahaha

Quote #1852 (+8) [ 2004-04-17, 21:14 ] [ + | - | X ]

<@Fall> oh man
<@Fall> my work calls me today
<@Fall> "Brad, I can't connect to F:"
<@Fall> "ok, disconnect, reconnect"
<@Fall> "alright."
<@Fall> "reboot, call me back in 5"
<@Fall> *5 minutes pass*
<@Fall> "you've reconnected to F:?"
<@Fall> "no, it couldn't connect again"
<@Fall> "Start -> Run -> cmd... ping 192.168.0.1"
<@Fall> "Destination host unreachable...?"
<@Fall> "plug the network cable back in"
<@Fall> "oh yeah, F works now!"
<@Fall> *blank look*

Quote #2040 (+6) [ 2004-06-07, 16:07 ] [ + | - | X ]

<brembo`> hrmmm, lookin at about $60 for a tinted visor for my helmet
<brembo`> just need a jacket to complete the whole black power ranger look
<D_Web> have you got ambulance & private health cover?
<brembo`> yup
<Ross> have you got a Will?
<brembo`> can't say i have much to leave behind
<Fod> you need assets before you need a will .. all he'll have is his bike and that'll get run over by the same truck

Quote #3080 (-3) [ 2005-11-12, 09:48 ] [ + | - | X ]

Grog: Also in 2004, newletter Popbitch reported that one of its readers worked at a brothel that Noll frequently used. Noll strenuously denied the allegations but admitted using marijuana and using a brothel "as a kid".
Grog: lol
TheWedgie: haha
Draffa: using a brothel as a kid eh?
Draffa: did he get a discount?
Crudmuffin: concession rates, heh
yaleman_: "kids eat for free"