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Quote #1853 (+6) [ 2004-04-17, 22:03 ] [ + | - | X ]

<FreeFrag> * Nozzette is now known as Nozz <--another sex change funded by medicare >:-(
<Falkor> i NEED IT

Quote #4054 (+7) [ 2007-03-12, 20:00 ] [ + | - | X ]

<outy> Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"
<MonoJoker> fish are stupid, it was probably a weir

Quote #3173 (+7) [ 2006-01-06, 14:24 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Narcolepsy> In the interim, I will eat.
<Narcolepsy> It'll fill in time, and the hole in my stomach.
<Narcolepsy> OMG!
<Narcolepsy> THERE'S A HOLE IN MY STOMACH!
<Narcolepsy> Oh, wait, metaphorical.
<Narcolepsy> nm, calm down.
<Narcolepsy> The boredom goes *POW*

Quote #3178 (+8) [ 2006-01-08, 10:29 ] [ + | - | X ]

deepspring: fucking cat... it's sleepin on the bbq again, it's just tempting me..

Quote #249 (+7) [ 2003-01-15, 12:55 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Forraje> my gf doesn't know the extent of my OCAU addiction yet :)
<eazy> I'm sure she's wondering if you have another "woman".
<Forraje> "are you cheating on me with one of those internet sluts?"
<eazy> hahaha
<Forraje> "well, if you consider Agg an internet slut, then yeah, i guess"
<Hibba> yeh bh, is ur internet slut
<nismo> yeh its bh
<Narc|ZzZz> No, bh is his bitch...
<Forraje> bh thrusts himself upon me
<Forraje> completely unwanted attention
<bh> Forraje I dont wanna sound like a queer or nothing, but I'd kinda love to make love to you tonight

Quote #209 (+29) [ 2002-12-24, 10:02 ] [ + | - | X ]

*** YaleSmoke is now known as Yaleman
<CoRDWoRK> so if yalesmoke is when you having a smoke is yaleman when your having a man?

Quote #3315 (+2) [ 2006-04-06, 19:09 ] [ + | - | X ]

DJStudd: ffs
DJStudd: Just got gastro from my wife 45 minutes ago
DJStudd: puked the second I got out of the car :(
Stygian: DJ-Studd: sux2bu :P
DJStudd: that it does :'(
Stygian: got a laptop?
Stygian: cos you'll be IRCing from the toilet sooner or later :P
Bern: Try cooking her for a bit longer next time DJStudd
Stygian: unless you go for some REALLY out there stuff
MonoAWAY: I read news.com.au on the toilet this morning
DJStudd: ha ha Stygian :(
MonoAWAY: who said men can't multitask? :)

Quote #1863 (+27) [ 2004-04-20, 16:43 ] [ + | - | X ]

[rodgrech] 1500 PSUs went out today and my house keys are in one of them

Quote #2321 (+1) [ 2004-10-05, 19:00 ] [ + | - | X ]

<em> you're not supposed to talk about who you vote for
<GrrrRich> em - you what?
<dr_red> you can if you want, em
<em> its a secret ballad for a reason
* Bas compose election ballad
<mike> ballad :~)
<dr_red> just make sure you keep it a secret, Bas

Quote #1852 (+9) [ 2004-04-17, 21:14 ] [ + | - | X ]

<@Fall> oh man
<@Fall> my work calls me today
<@Fall> "Brad, I can't connect to F:"
<@Fall> "ok, disconnect, reconnect"
<@Fall> "alright."
<@Fall> "reboot, call me back in 5"
<@Fall> *5 minutes pass*
<@Fall> "you've reconnected to F:?"
<@Fall> "no, it couldn't connect again"
<@Fall> "Start -> Run -> cmd... ping 192.168.0.1"
<@Fall> "Destination host unreachable...?"
<@Fall> "plug the network cable back in"
<@Fall> "oh yeah, F works now!"
<@Fall> *blank look*

Quote #2696 (+1) [ 2005-04-20, 00:54 ] [ + | - | X ]

<thetron> Penis image alert on the forums!
<@Wolfy> quick thetron, look now before it gets deleted, then you can compare it with yours

Quote #1998 (+5) [ 2004-05-25, 19:56 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Fod> Tasmanians are great dancers, they might have two left feet but they have two right arms to balance it out

Quote #2784 (+10) [ 2005-05-24, 22:13 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Fod> two of the doctors at my local practise are awesome, the third tried to sell us a computer partway through the consultation

Quote #171 (+6) [ 2002-12-16, 08:19 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Decker> Cav worships the ass demon
* Cav is just like that :)
<Womb0> Cav: ur strange
<Cav> yeah
<Cav> im a complete fucking wierdo :)

Quote #1235 (+3) [ 2003-10-28, 11:53 ] [ + | - | X ]

<SUPAMODEL> sure no-one wants to do my exam this arvo
<SUPAMODEL> yer more than welcome to :)
<echelon> ummmm....... nup.
<Saga> yeah, look, not to be rude, but i'll pass on that kind offer too...
<SUPAMODEL> bastards.
<echelon> anytime mate.
<SUPAMODEL> I could pay you in pr0n
<echelon> pr0n is no fun anymore. I'm over it
<echelon> but I'll take cash
<Saga> and bank cheques...
<SUPAMODEL> nah, I only have pr0n
<SUPAMODEL> sorry
<SUPAMODEL> highest quality pr0n tho
<echelon> Fair enough, we can get cash for it down at the local high school

Quote #4022 (+6) [ 2007-01-30, 15:32 ] [ + | - | X ]

<kermie> Teddybear i saw a festiva hit a skyline going like 20km/h and it was written off, the skyline had a little dent
<Teddybear> Yeah, but the skyline driver was still a tosser

Quote #4025 (+8) [ 2007-01-31, 21:57 ] [ + | - | X ]

<IKT> what's a hoegarden?
<outy|outy> a beer iirc
<biatch> A garden full of promiscuous women.
<Lits> a garden for prostitutes
<ScibyBusy> What? Where?
<biatch> Pfft I so beat you, Lits.
* Lits crash tackles biatch
<ScibyBusy> Oh, it doesn't really exist.
<ScibyBusy> You bastards.
<Bern> somebodys highlight just went off
<TheWedgie> hahaha
<Cav> ScibyBusy: and yet the dream still lives, you have something to look forward to

Quote #1215 (+6) [ 2003-10-24, 21:25 ] [ + | - | X ]

(Immo_G): had ya 12 barons table 'burgers' for the day
(tensop): eww barons table
(tensop): you know how they make that
(tensop): they stick a 20v+ probe to a peice of cardboard
(tensop): the other to some dog meat
(Immo_G): lol
(tensop): stick both of em in some water
(Immo_G): hahahaha rofl
(Immo_G): electroplated meat

Quote #2932 (+6) [ 2005-08-12, 23:25 ] [ + | - | X ]

<D_Web> we ordered 150 pizzas at uni today
<FreeFrag> lol
<eDust> lol D_Web, did they send a fleet of scooters to deliver?
<eDust> an armada of scooters
<knowsfords> did you kill one of the scooter drivers then go back to the pizza place to get delivery missions?

Quote #1662 (+11) [ 2004-02-19, 21:31 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Nick> a mate sent me this, only porn i've ever kept
<Fod> suuure
<Nick> true
<Fod> YOU'RE A SKINFIEND AND YOU KNOW IT
<Nick> SKINFIEND?
<Fod> pornography = "the skin trade"
<Nick> i really don't like it though.. 99% of it makes me get an anti-boner
<Fod> porno sex is so fucking ridiculous
<Nick> amen to that
<Fod> HI, I'M HERE TO FIX THE TV
<Fod> LET'S HAVE UPSIDE DOWN BUTTSEX
<Nick> rofl
<Nick> off to ugquotes

Quote #892 (+14) [ 2003-08-13, 18:55 ] [ + | - | X ]

<dicey> someone needs to invent a heater that follows you around
<RoSWeLL> dicey its called a fat bitch stuck to your hip
<dicey> roswell, that wouldn't be too pleasant.. plus i don't need a fat bitch because i am one
<RoSWeLL> hard luck dicey become a lesbian and get a fat bitch ?
<dicey> ros, tried that... but fat bitches aren't all that kissable
<RoSWeLL> but all you need is a heater
<RoSWeLL> fat bitch is as good as any heater

Quote #3955 (+5) [ 2006-12-28, 07:48 ] [ + | - | X ]

<biatch> Still there, SPY?
<SPY> now it wont go back in my advance settings
<biatch> Yeah.... I know... You left a password off your router, and I added a default route on your router to point to an IP on your network that doesn't exist.
<biatch> ANd now you're not responding to ping.
>>>> SPY (SDFE@ppp231-35.lns3.syd7.internode.on.net) has quit [Read error: Connection reset by peer]
* biatch waves

Quote #627 (+11) [ 2003-06-06, 01:33 ] [ + | - | X ]

*** Joins: Monkeys (~Yomamma@....com)
(Monkeys): any one seen 2 fast 2 furious
(Monkeys): ?
(Monkeys): i liked it :)
* Darkness throws a NOS canister at Monkeys
([SweN]): lol
(Darkness): wait, you said 2 fast 2 furious didn't you.
* Darkness throws a yellow and pink flaming NOS canister at Monkeys
([SweN]): lol
(Monkeys): lol
(Monkeys): so u have seen it?
(Darkness): No.

Quote #2547 (+4) [ 2005-01-29, 17:58 ] [ + | - | X ]

<outonanisl> everytime i eat homemade pie i feel sick
<outonanisl> i think my body is trying to tell me that 25 pounds of butter per square inch isnt good
<Iroquois> yep, it'll do that
<Iroquois> when I ate my regrettable record of 14 pieces of pizza, my body *sure* told me about that :(
<Iroquois> then the doctor at the hospital told me about it

Quote #2060 (+4) [ 2004-06-16, 20:42 ] [ + | - | X ]

<FreeFrag> I'd love a segway, for that "Look at me I'm an all out nerdy geek and there's not one thing you can do about it" look

Quote #2442 (+11) [ 2004-12-20, 21:56 ] [ + | - | X ]

<edj> around 30 years ago, my dad recieved some cylinder from sweden, someone died overthere and he was a decendent of that person... my dad never did anything about it, and we have no idea where he put the cylinder
<edj> only found out after his funeral when my uncle, (his brother) told me about it
<Agg> what was in the cylinder, edj?
<edj> some official swedish document
<edj> land rights or something, I don't really know much about it, but it had the official seal of sweden on it
<dr_red> edj: you could be rich!
<edj> back then they figured it was way to expensive to go to sweden and claim it, so they just left it
<dr_red> it could be a shitload of land
<dr_red> id be looking into it
<Agg> You own Sweden. Would you like to build a hotel ($185)? (Y/n)
<edj> lol, my dad chose "n" unfortunately

Quote #1050 (+12) [ 2003-10-02, 09:22 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Koontz> fsck whats the whirlpool site, im looking at dishwashers atm
<TheWedgie> whirlpool.net.au
<Koontz> ahhhhhhh..........took me 5 mins to figure out was dishwasher site LOL
<TheWedgie> LOL
<Koontz> LMFAO, i even added it as a favorite before i realised
<TheWedgie> n00b

Quote #2353 (+5) [ 2004-10-21, 01:00 ] [ + | - | X ]

<D_Web> how can I escape a " in php?
<Narcolepsy> Run away?

Quote #2618 (+9) [ 2005-03-09, 13:34 ] [ + | - | X ]

<thetron> Lurks: Hows your engrlish?
<Lurks> thetron: as good as yours
<yaleman> thetron doesn't speak engrish, he speaks tronlish, which is even more garbled
<ace234> who needs 128bit encryption when you have tronlish
<Lurks> ace234: 128bit is based on tronlish
<yaleman> haha

Quote #2630 (+2) [ 2005-03-18, 11:47 ] [ + | - | X ]

[ bkuebler]: wait.
[ bkuebler]: allow me to check my facts.
[ bkuebler]: I am an idiot...
[ rjbs]: You needed to *check* that?

Quote #2495 (+21) [ 2005-01-14, 16:37 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Fod> awesome discovery of the day
<Fod> my sister physically cannot wink
<WhiteyFord> what the hell?
<Fod> she tries to wink but blinks instead
<WhiteyFord> hahaha
<Fod> happens with both eyes
<Fod> it's great :D
<WhiteyFord> wink at her all the time.. ALL THE TIME
<Fod> i'm planning on it
<WhiteyFord> im going to the shops *wink*
<WhiteyFord> dinner is ready *wink*
<WhiteyFord> im going to bed *wink*
<WhiteyFord> wait.. maybe not the last one
<Fod> not sure about that last one
<Fod> :D
<Crudmuffin> lol
<TheWedgie> hahah

Quote #2433 (+11) [ 2004-12-17, 09:37 ] [ + | - | X ]

&lt;blazemore&gt; omg i love this song<br />
&lt;blazemore&gt; Now playing: Unknown Artist - Track 2<br />
&lt;Javi&gt; blazemore: yeah, that's a bad ass song

Quote #804 (+7) [ 2003-07-19, 16:14 ] [ + | - | X ]

<nEoLIthIc> oi ppl, my friend is in between me and another guy right
<nEoLIthIc> would i be able to see the other guy too?

Quote #1925 (+7) [ 2004-05-06, 19:23 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Hunter> holy shit the hot water tank just blew up in our house
<Hunter> BANG
<Hunter> fucking water everywhere
<Agg-> maybe you should sit on IRC and tell everyone about it, Hunter
<Agg-> you know, instead of getting it fixed or cleaning it up or something :)

Quote #3560 (+3) [ 2006-09-20, 21:30 ] [ + | - | X ]

<benz> There's only one person i kinda want to sleep with atm
<benz> and he's awesome =)

Quote #1297 (+8) [ 2003-11-10, 18:04 ] [ + | - | X ]

<neo|assign> whats the term a farmer uses when he cant grow anything off land?
<fatcat> "bugger"?

Quote #3289 (+17) [ 2006-03-22, 23:00 ] [ + | - | X ]

<mazza[W]> you know those randoms on austnet that just start msging you and try to chat you up?
<mazza[W]> well i have one owned
<mazza[W]> i'm emma, i'm 19, blonde and 6ft. and i work at 7-11 in flinders st (corner elizabeth) in melb
<mazza[W]> and i'm meeting this guy called adam
<mazza[W]> he's 25 and lives in swanson st at latrobe
<mazza[W]> he's walking down to meet me right now outside 7-11
<mazza[W]> because i just knocked off work
<mazza[W]> and we're walking up to the flinders station hotel
<mazza[W]> for coffee
<mazza[W]> and to put the icing on the cake
<mazza[W]> i just called the 7-11
<mazza[W]> and told the owner that if a guy caled adam comes looking for emma, he got owned
<mazza[W]> the owner laughed and said sure
<mazza[W]> meanwhile
<mazza[W]> i'm up here, 150km from melb
<mazza[W]> the 7-11 just called me back
<mazza[W]> 'adam' came in and asked for 'emma'
<mazza[W]> and when the owner told him he got owned
<mazza[W]> he threw a tantrum
<mazza[W]> and fired off a whole bunch of remarks
<mazza[W]> and walked off yelling down the street

Quote #4123 (+4) [ 2007-05-20, 22:17 ] [ + | - | X ]

* Sciby has quit (Quit: And the Lord said unto John "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.)

Quote #1866 (+7) [ 2004-04-22, 23:26 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Simboo> I swear the worst part about living with women is the amount of toilet paper they use
<Simboo> it's phenominal

Quote #633 (+3) [ 2003-06-07, 13:35 ] [ + | - | X ]

<z3[n]> everyone is grumpy when they are tiered
<Firemoth> z3[n], depends which tier you are. :p
<z3[n]> *tired!* happy?
<Firemoth> No, please leave. We can no longer put up with your mistakes.
* z3[n] slowly walks away from the channel in tears
* Firemoth husg
<Firemoth> hugs too
<Firemoth> Don't say a word, z3[n] :P

Quote #4055 (+1) [ 2007-03-14, 16:09 ] [ + | - | X ]

<dave> the bar kicked me out. now i'm outside on a bench with a new hotspot i found.

Quote #4238 (+5) [ 2007-10-31, 19:47 ] [ + | - | X ]

<@Agg> <dopefish_> Agg: are you a fan of SSL certificates <-- sure, i've got all their albums

Quote #530 (+6) [ 2003-05-05, 23:33 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Firemoth> Cav, I've tried rubbing it.. doesn't work.

Quote #2726 (+11) [ 2005-04-29, 19:25 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Rage> what can i say? i'm a dirty dirty corporate whore

Quote #2688 (+2) [ 2005-04-16, 14:44 ] [ + | - | X ]

<ColdFusion> would any of you believe me if i said i did 160 past a cop in an unmarked, they pulled me over and i got nothing?
<Lurks> ColdFusion: did you have to swallow?
<ColdFusion> i know it sounds REALLY bs
<ColdFusion> no
<Lurks> so you spat?
<ColdFusion> no
<yaleman> gargled :P
<Lurks> lol
<ColdFusion> ..

Quote #2125 (+6) [ 2004-07-09, 21:16 ] [ + | - | X ]

* ace234 wants 1TB of space for the wank factor
* kizzap wants the wank
<kizzap> factor too

Quote #4323 (+5) [ 2008-05-28, 18:47 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Zardoz> Steam Rating:3.1 - Shooting Blanks
<Zardoz> fucking wut
<Zardoz> BLANKS !!!
<Cenobite> you should see a doctor about that
<MiniWalks> lol
<Mike> LOL!
<Mike> snape

Quote #1376 (+3) [ 2003-11-24, 16:06 ] [ + | - | X ]

<@Syxx`> (14:49:05) <CapnChron> I ain't having more then 0 kids :P --->>> yeah cause u prob have 2 or 3 u dont know about already :P
<@yale_work> or his sperm's too lazy from all the weed
<@yale_work> "hey man, what are we supposed to be doing?"
<@Syxx`> yer either or
<@yale_work> "looking for that egg... thing?"
<@yale_work> "nah, let's go looking for munchies!"
<port80> "wow man look at all the colors"
<CapnChron> lol

Quote #24 (+9) [ 2002-10-25, 07:54 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Dopefish> there is sometimes a denial stage in drinking
<Agg> no there isn't!

Quote #584 (+1) [ 2003-05-21, 20:49 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Ultimata> i got bored
<Jester> ah FFS STFU who gives a fuck
<Jester> arr wrong channel