news | imagestore | ircquotes | trade maker | smilies | forums | webmail | login | register    
  Search Quotes

Jump to Quote #

Search for

   Quotes

< Back     Page: 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31     Next >

Quote #3595 (+11) [ 2006-10-13, 01:01 ] [ + | - | X ]

< FatMan> you fill my heart with love, and my penis with blood.

Quote #608 (+10) [ 2003-05-31, 12:01 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Mred32> Good thing the wife is out atm then.
<Mred32> ...cause I'm gonna take my daughter to kindy gym and check out all the mums.

Quote #1301 (+47) [ 2003-11-11, 15:00 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Fod> okay kids, business pitch time
<Fod> tell if me if it'll sell
<Fod> prawn crackers, shaped like nekkid ladies
<Fod> called pr0n crackers :)

Quote #1767 (+2) [ 2004-03-24, 19:58 ] [ + | - | X ]

<eDust> did u guys know phone companies keep a log of all SMS's sent
<TheWedgie> eDust: yes, yes i did.
<eDust> :|
<TheWedgie> but you'd be surprised at how hard it is to get access to them, and how heavily the system is logged
<TheWedgie> with telstra anyhoo. ;)
<Fod> can't get at them with telstra because the server is down?

Quote #575 (+4) [ 2003-05-18, 23:51 ] [ + | - | X ]

<mnkymajik> trolling for hardcore tamaotchi porn isnt easy

Quote #643 (+3) [ 2003-06-09, 17:56 ] [ + | - | X ]

<z3[n]> divx player is playing all my movies upside down...
<z3[n]> wtf?
<Quadbox> z3[n]: Dude, just because you're drunk doesn't mean you're allowed to sit on your head

Quote #3335 (+2) [ 2006-04-25, 15:11 ] [ + | - | X ]

Baker: Heh, I just zoomed in and found my car at work on Google Earth

Quote #1330 (+2) [ 2003-11-14, 22:28 ] [ + | - | X ]

<biatch> Good luck trying to fit a girl and a wedding dress in am mx5 :)
<biatch> I barely fit!
<biatch> sab has plenty of room though :)
<gords> my sis is petite =)
<Fod> so is sab

Quote #1525 (+9) [ 2004-01-15, 20:20 ] [ + | - | X ]

(Grosby) I can't eat KFC, looks too much like a wrinkled up testicle

Quote #3306 (+5) [ 2006-03-31, 19:59 ] [ + | - | X ]

Kingy: I hate The Streets
raz: dry your eyes mate

Quote #1277 (+2) [ 2003-11-04, 15:23 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Rik> anthrax is so passe
<Rik> bukkake is where it's at

Quote #3325 (+6) [ 2006-04-14, 22:51 ] [ + | - | X ]

<D_Web> mum was just standing behind me, I could here her heart valves clearly
<D_Web> click click click click
<brembo`> 6 million dollar mum

Quote #4349 (+12) [ 2008-07-24, 15:21 ] [ + | - | X ]

<BFM> I wonder what Chuck Norris would do to probability?
<scon|work> Make it a certainty?

Quote #1401 (+10) [ 2003-11-30, 17:11 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Fod> if you can't handle a bit of a bingle, you should be a racing car driver
<Fod> ^shouldnt
<Fod> and if you can't piece simple sentences together, you shouldn't go on IRC
* brembo` watches all IRC users quit simultaneously

Quote #10 (+6) [ 2002-10-21, 06:40 ] [ + | - | X ]

<reverb> ive been with my girlfriend for 16 years
* reverb looks at righ hand
<reverb> sometimes we have threesomes
* reverb looks at left hand

Quote #2603 (+5) [ 2005-02-22, 13:33 ] [ + | - | X ]

<MonoAWAY> Hi! I'm Bram Cohen, the author of BitTorrent.
<MonoAWAY> I maintain BitTorrent for a living. This is my only job.
<MonoAWAY> Brian, you're gonna starve...
<MonoAWAY> *Bram
<Shawry> Hi! I am Brum, an obnoxious little british car. I have my own television series

Quote #609 (+10) [ 2003-05-31, 13:31 ] [ + | - | X ]

(+CapnChron): I'm so stupid.
(+CapnChron): The phone rang.. I picked it up and put it to my ear...
(+CapnChron): Know what I just realised?
(+CapnChron): I forgot I was deaf

Quote #2048 (+7) [ 2004-06-08, 20:27 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Rage> how does one withdraw $10k cash?
<Rage> take a breifcase up to the bank?
<Erve> ask for a bank cheque?
<Falkor> or get a bank cheque
<Crudmuffin> yeah, bank cheque
<Erve> maybe a bank cheque?
<Rage> perhaps a bank cheque...
<Rik> I'd say bank cheque
<Fod> i was thinking you could try a bank cheque
<Fod> that's just my opinion though
<Erve> Survey says
<Erve> bank cheque
<FreeFrag> I might ask for my loan in cash.
<Fod> oh try and be at least a little original freefrag

Quote #2421 (+7) [ 2004-12-10, 15:29 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Agg> anyone know how much a sheepskin costs? like one of those flat-sheep-shaped rugs.
<lunar_c> lol
<lunar_c> about 120, agg
<Agg> hmm
<lunar_c> and it's a fleece.
<lunar_c> technically.
<Agg> boy, i feel sheepish now.
<lunar_c> oh god how long have you been saving that old chestnut.
<WM|KG--> Stop fleecing him damnit.
<Agg> i can baaahly stand it.
* lunar_c explodes from all the pun
<lunar_c> *BANG*
<WM|KG--> I'm out of pun.
<Agg> aww, i thought ewe might ram us.
<lunar_c> it was all a little too .. pungent for me.
<WM|KG--> AIEEE
* WM|KG-- has left #overclockers
<lunar_c> ewe baaaahstard, agg.
<Agg> woold you like me to stop now? :)

Quote #1416 (+4) [ 2003-12-05, 00:18 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Agg> i once sent a package to sciby at his work, addressed to Scott "God among Men" Eiby

Quote #1296 (+26) [ 2003-11-10, 01:13 ] [ + | - | X ]

«Jobby» cause telstra decides to route all traffic through a piece of string to vietnam where men with hats bash the fuck out of some pots and pans and then decide to send the data back in a fucking fridge or something
«Jobby» thats how slow it seems anyways :(

Quote #1105 (+3) [ 2003-10-11, 23:39 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Agg> but the naked girl in my bed will still be there tomorrow, so I'll keep you posted.
<sabretooth> Agg: when does she regain consciousness?
<MonoFOLD> as soon as the rohypnol wears off
<Rage> <Lurks> Agg has a naked girl in bed and he is on IRC <-- Addict...
<Lurks> AGG IS A REALL GEEK

Quote #488 (+15) [ 2003-04-22, 19:22 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Grog`> a good immunity is to piss on yourself twice daily
<Grog`> i've been doing it for years
<Grog`> and i haven't caught SARS

Quote #1345 (+6) [ 2003-11-16, 21:06 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Rik> that was the funniest bus trip ever
<WhiteyFord> oh Rik.. i guess you got home okay on sat night?
<Rik> no
<Rik> I got raped
<Rik> and dumped in bushland
<CrashDummy> :(
<CrashDummy> rik were you joking before ?
* Rik looks around
<Rik> he touched me in my spethl place
<Rik> that's not cool

Quote #35 (+11) [ 2002-10-27, 11:42 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Wizardx8> Damn those transparent eyelids...
<Cav> i should mod my eyes
<Cav> and put a one way valve on my arse
<Wizardx8> Cav, your arse is 2 way at the moment? Confirms it really :P
<Cav> god damnit :)

Quote #3214 (+11) [ 2006-01-22, 09:54 ] [ + | - | X ]

<@knowsfords> I hear that when you pour tassie beer, it has two heads

Quote #1479 (+3) [ 2004-01-06, 10:41 ] [ + | - | X ]

<i386> dear god..... Microsoft Windows XP used upnp to plot with my other home appliances and white goods and they are comming to kill me
<i386> Ive baracaded myself in my room, with serveral cans of tuna
<i386> THE TOAST, IT BURNS!

Quote #1337 (+8) [ 2003-11-15, 22:09 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Reaver> bundy: "I'd rather drink another man's semen"

Quote #2013 (+5) [ 2004-05-30, 13:56 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Fodzilla> any of you guys know Perl?
<Erve> yeah I know her.
<Erve> seen her around sometimes
<eDust> i hate Perl
<eDust> she's ugly
<@Crudmuffin> Not only is she ugly, she's a bitch to get along with
<@Crudmuffin> Occasionally she's nice, but then she just cracks it and it takes you a lifetime to get everything kosher again.

Quote #1123 (+7) [ 2003-10-13, 10:32 ] [ + | - | X ]

* Saganami slaps echelon upside the head with a phone book
* echelon grabs the phone book and looks up the number for 000
<Saga> rofl

Quote #1168 (+3) [ 2003-10-19, 18:54 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Largo> you wouldnt stop pissing me off till i exploded onto you and that fag hemerage
<yale_code> lol FreeFrag, he exploded onto you - want a tissue?

Quote #1349 (+3) [ 2003-11-17, 05:00 ] [ + | - | X ]

<jake> wtf i opened up my bottle of coke and there was a fucken mobile phone in it
<tensop> lol, what did you do with the phone(you can give it to me if you want)
<jake> Nah i chucked it out
<tensop> you sir, are undoubtedly the most fucking retarded person on the planet.. do you even read the labels on the coke bottles?
<jake> FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

Quote #2581 (+2) [ 2005-02-13, 00:06 ] [ + | - | X ]

<marv> Hey
<marv> I just got a new bed
<marv> and its stiff as, i hate it
<marv> do they get less firm over time?
<Iroquois> yes
<marv> good
<Iroquois> try jumping on it
<marv> Dont wanna break it
<Warhamster> hmmm i read that from the bottom up and that sounded... odd
<Iroquois> heh

Quote #1894 (+3) [ 2004-04-30, 00:58 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Sciby> Great storyline too.
<Sciby> About a guy named Shin who was backstabbed by his best friend and forced to work for a mercenary airforce somewhere in africa.
<Agg> Shin? is he from Thighland?
<Sciby> No, Buttswana.
<Agg> ahh yes, the foothills.
<Sciby> Yup, at the bottom of the Handies.
<Agg> I carpaled there once.. got a nasty femur, wasn't very humerus.
<Sciby> Heh, I got nothin'. :)

Quote #1236 (+3) [ 2003-10-28, 16:49 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Legendre> I got two spams today - one for weight loss, and one for penile enlargement. I relplied to both, with cc: and asked if they could work something out to transfer my extra weight to my johnson.

Quote #225 (+4) [ 2003-01-04, 01:41 ] [ + | - | X ]

<klif-e> we have a gaping great big hole in the front of our house atm
<Crudmuffin> heh, how come?
<Crudmuffin> You're burying the bodies?

Quote #4240 (+4) [ 2007-11-03, 21:30 ] [ + | - | X ]

[22:26] <scruffffff> FUCK
[22:26] <scruffffff> I just superglued my mouse to my hand
[22:26] <scruffffff> :(
[22:27] <glasnt> who the fuck gave you superglue unattended, scruffff?!!/!?! LOL!
[22:27] * glasnt is finished making fun of the kids who sniff glue.
[22:27] <scruffffff> fuck
[22:28] <scruffffff> how do i get rid of this shit
[22:28] <@Sniper4800> hope you dont SG yer fingers the the keyboard then
[22:28] <scruffffff> sniper: i was fixing my mouse
[22:28] <scruffffff> and i held it together
[22:28] <glasnt> you should be able to remove it with some nailpolish remover or metholated spirits?
[22:29] <@Sniper4800> axe would be quicker
[22:29] <PharaohSam> lol it will be stuck to your hands for a few days until the layer of skin gets replaced - may have been a better idea to get a new mouse. what kinda mouse was it
[22:29] <PharaohSam> ?
[22:30] <scruffffff> wireless mighty mouse
[22:30] <scruffffff> and ill go into the lab tmr and get some acetone
[22:30] <glasnt> So.. you're gonna keep the mouse stuck to your hand over night?
[22:31] <scruffffff> unless you can think of a better idea...?

Quote #3243 (+1) [ 2006-02-05, 20:20 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Hunter> i just found a perfect copy of hotel california by the eagles
<Hunter> this record is near-virginal
<Quadbox> I guess it's in good company then

Quote #2525 (+3) [ 2005-01-23, 11:18 ] [ + | - | X ]

<mazzaBBQ> the bbq people were the ones i were standing next to for the last 15 mins
<mazzaBBQ> dammit
<mazzaBBQ> everyone knows me
<David> you found them mazza?
<mazzaBBQ> but i dont know them
<FreeFrag> mazzaBBQ, put the fucking IRC phone in your pocket and socialise.
----- 5 Minutes Later -----
<David> mazza put down the phone man :p
<ace234> mazzaBBQ are you going for the biggest geek award?
<mazzaBBQ> yes
<mazzaBBQ> these people are scaring me
<Reaver|ZzZ> how's mazza on the net
<David> on his phone
<David> nerding it up bigtime
<FreeFrag> mazzaBBQ, are they looking at you with that "Geez...wtf is up with that kid, it's like he has an emotional attachment with IRC" look on thier face?
<David> FreeFrag: $10 says so.
<FreeFrag> mazzaBBQ, turn on the webcam, I want to see thier faces.
<David> take pics!
<David> surely that phone has a camera too
<David> I tried telling mazza yesterday that he shouldn't play with his phone.. he needs to socialise with the people! :D
<FreeFrag> Who knows what mazzanets mobile number is? I'll call up Telstra and have it cancelled because it was stolen. We've got to do this kid a favour.

Quote #1216 (+10) [ 2003-10-24, 23:36 ] [ + | - | X ]

<kas-> so gambino? you're into doing dj sets #on_the_dex in #sydney and #melbourne while having #sex with #teens in #macedonia ?
<RoSWeLL> hahahahahaa
<RoSWeLL> damn that is some good multitasking

Quote #2970 (+3) [ 2005-09-05, 22:23 ] [ + | - | X ]

<wild> hahaha, walked into maccas wearing my "I AM THE STIG shirt, all the girls behind the counter just said what's a stig?
<Strange1> LOL did u get one, Or make one?
<wild> got one off ebay
<Strange1> Ah k
<Strange1> Did u tell them to go to the backseat of your car and find out?
<wild> rofl

Quote #2767 (+1) [ 2005-05-19, 14:30 ] [ + | - | X ]

<@Flooble> i'm actually just bumming around town waiting for the ferry to kao tao?
<@Flooble> to tan?
<@Flooble> ko tan?
<@Scary> no idea
<@Scary> all thai words sound like food to me

Quote #1034 (+4) [ 2003-09-12, 16:39 ] [ + | - | X ]

<echelon> ebay: Your best source for ripping off stupid people. liek omghi2u socheep!

Quote #3358 (+4) [ 2006-05-10, 01:47 ] [ + | - | X ]

<PsykoSmily> or just buy a chimp and have sex with that
<Recharge> great minds..
[edj] nah... that's just way too michael jackson
<PsykoSmily> lol
<PsykoSmily> you could train the monkey to give perfect head everytime
<PsykoSmily> anyway...
<PsykoSmily> another topic.
* PsykoSmily whistles
<Recharge> oooooooooooook
[edj] yeah, but think of how painful it can get when it instinctively thinks it has to peel the banana first
<PsykoSmily> LOL
<Recharge> you've put far too much imagination into that thought

Quote #219 (+6) [ 2003-01-01, 03:39 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Carrots> feel like a dog shat in my head :-(
<jase> better than a camel shitting in your mouth
<Carrots> ew

Quote #8 (+7) [ 2002-10-21, 06:35 ] [ + | - | X ]

<DentArthur> Agg: sweet, in terms off bikes, if its Jap I love it :) they just look so fast and slippery
<DentArthur> and all the plastic is easier to hose off when i shit myself at speed

Quote #75 (+1) [ 2002-11-14, 08:09 ] [ + | - | X ]

<arkenstone> last time i called telsra tech support the bloke on the other end started crying
<arkenstone> I called cause i'd had line sync for like a week and my isp still hadn't been told my telstra
<arkenstone> so i called them and asked quite nicely what was going on
<arkenstone> and this bloke just started crying and going on about how stuff isn't his fault and telstra is bad but he's not and he != telstra and people should leave him alone and stuff.

Quote #2493 (+10) [ 2005-01-14, 09:22 ] [ + | - | X ]

<knowsfords> carrot, lettuce, tomator
<Crudmuffin> you say tomator, i say tomato

Quote #2672 (+6) [ 2005-04-10, 14:23 ] [ + | - | X ]

(snoopz): anyone want to play css
(nza): ok i'll start
(nza): <style type="text/css">

Quote #3155 (+9) [ 2005-12-22, 13:51 ] [ + | - | X ]

* biatch grabs popcorn and watches the ensuing argument ;)
deepspring: go play with ya man boobs biatch :p
* outy pokes biatch with bridgeport the kitten.
* biatch touches her man bewbs.
biatch: Oh baby oh baby
outy: this is hot
outy: keep going biatch
outy: im nearly done....
deepspring: lol
biatch: Work on your stamina, outy.