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Quote #4287 (+9) [ 2008-03-25, 21:11 ] [ + | - | X ]

<gords> i happened to walk in to one of our computer labs when a teacher was trying to use one of our new flatbed scanners to scan an artwork made entirely out of chicken wire

Quote #2502 (+8) [ 2005-01-16, 02:11 ] [ + | - | X ]

Ashley: You spell "faries" fairies, don't you?
Ashley: I'm lost. I haven't had the need to spell that word since I was in early primary school.
Lartnec: I believe so
Ashley: Lartnec, You should get a blog.
Lartnec: Hmm it's a thought
Jess|ZzZ: fairy
Jess|ZzZ: fairies
Lartnec: oi stop the insults
Lartnec: :P

Quote #2543 (+3) [ 2005-01-27, 22:37 ] [ + | - | X ]

<marvy\> my gf's friend got knocked up at 13, had the kid at 14, and the father was a 21y/o black guy, and he didnt get in troubloe AT ALL
<BenZ|Lapto> ...
<-- Yomamma has quit (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
<BenZ|Lapto> Nigga stole her virginity?
<BenZ|Lapto> *runs*
<fen> and her tv apparently..

Quote #1685 (+8) [ 2004-02-24, 11:23 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Nozz> Haven't got any chicken handy anyway
<CrashDumy> pile up one giant bowel of it and eat till stuffed then eat some more
<Nozz> Off to cook the plain pasta now, though
<Crudmuffin> bowel? eeugh
<Crudmuffin> how about a bowl?
<Nozz> ahahaha
<echelon> bwhahaha
<Lombers> hey guys
* CrashDumy slaps crudmuffin for correcting me
<echelon> a giant bowel of pasta
<Crudmuffin> hey lombers
<Crudmuffin> lol echelon
<Nozz> hahahaha
<echelon> yeech
<echelon> 'lo Lombers
<Nozz> I laughed so hard then I gave myself the hiccups
<Nozz> Cunts.
<Crudmuffin> LOL
<Lombers> heh, good time to come into the conversation :)
<CrashDumy> your welcome. Have a nice day :)
<echelon> rofl
<CrashDumy> service with a smile
<echelon> can we interest you in a giant bowel of (wholemeal) pasta?
<Lombers> urgh
<CrashDumy> Nah but i wouldn't mind a bowl of it
<Crudmuffin> heh, I'm loling at work
<echelon> So chunky, you can carve it
<Crudmuffin> this is bad

Quote #1314 (+4) [ 2003-11-13, 22:57 ] [ + | - | X ]

<rodgrech> SoloFlyer: it doesent matter what day it is, telstra is fucked

Quote #1153 (+1) [ 2003-10-18, 13:02 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Gibbon> hehe, I read that as boobs
<sniper64> hahahaha
<Gibbon> I wonder what I'm thinking about ......
<echelon> Gibbon: well, your birthday has only just gone, get a special 'present'?
<Gibbon> unfortunately not, echelon
<echelon> hehe
* echelon sends a paid hooker to Gibbon's house
<MadHatter> lol
* Gibbon wraps himself in latex and smears himself in chicken fat ... then waits ......

Quote #1379 (+13) [ 2003-11-26, 02:33 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Mred32> BWAAhhh My wife just came in with a cigarette and ashed into my last beer, thinking it was an empty can :(
<Mred32> I'd just opened it as well.
<FenrisOlf> hehehe.... ahhh, I feel for you man.
<FenrisOlf> marriage can be hard sometimes =(
<Mred32> :(
<Mred32> It tastes strange

Quote #770 (+1) [ 2003-07-11, 04:17 ] [ + | - | X ]

(ernest): he can be shadow hymen affairs minister
(cSmith): haha
(Darkness): Isn't that like a priest?
(Darkness): Oh wait, boys don't have hymens.

Quote #2993 (+1) [ 2005-09-20, 09:31 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Draffa|a> jesus, just found a decent-looking house, but after taking a look at the photos of the backyard...
<Draffa|a> the front it all spiffed up, the backyard is a bloody brotherl.
<Draffa|a> *is
<Draffa|a> and *brothel
<SirPNut> win win win... then you already have the hookers, and all you need is the blackjack

Quote #1503 (+6) [ 2004-01-11, 20:12 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Rage> i should take a pic of me now
<Rage> none of them are current
<Rage> i'm a lot less boyish :D
<Tommmo> hahahah
<Fod> more girlish now?
<Tommmo> what, you're a bit girly ?
<Tommmo> aha fod beat me to it
<knowsfords> Fod: dammit!
<Tommmo> nothing wrong with that rage
<Tommmo> our society embraces diversity
<knowsfords> and if you want to be a women, we wont stop you.

Quote #186 (+5) [ 2002-12-20, 07:36 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Rage> opteron: go take your HRT now
<Opteron> hrt?
<Erve> lol
<brembo`> hahaha
<Rage> ;)
<Opteron> sif i have a hrt
<Opteron> i cant even drive
<Rage> lol
<Rage> n00b :P
<brembo`> n00b
<VooDoo> n00b
<milenko> n00b

Quote #3568 (+3) [ 2006-09-26, 19:56 ] [ + | - | X ]

* QoS (~jircii@***.dyn.iinet.net.au) has joined #apple
<FreeFrag> Great, IRC will be faster and more reliable now that QoS is here!

Quote #1194 (+1) [ 2003-10-22, 01:18 ] [ + | - | X ]

<pace[W]> is it 5:30 yet
<Norgs> pace[W]: 4:16
<pace[W]> crap
<Norgs> whats wrong with your PC clock?
<pace[W]> i was hopeing it was wrong
<Norgs> hahaha

Quote #3337 (+8) [ 2006-04-25, 21:52 ] [ + | - | X ]

Kingy: Gretel Killeen is 73
Agg: in dog years
Agg: which is appropriate

Quote #1609 (+5) [ 2004-02-08, 20:07 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Dance_Commander> Hey all
<Danny``> lla yeH
<Dance_Commander> ok..
<Danny``> ..ko
<drp> morning :)
<Dance_Commander> I thought people usually got drunk on saturday nights.. :)
<Danny``> cba typin that one
<Danny``> lol

Quote #1245 (+4) [ 2003-10-29, 21:15 ] [ + | - | X ]

<NaLaR> the day you can jack off to a world leader is the day i join politics
<NaLaR> by that i mean a straight man
<xanex> you want to jack off to a straight man?

Quote #1863 (+28) [ 2004-04-20, 16:43 ] [ + | - | X ]

[rodgrech] 1500 PSUs went out today and my house keys are in one of them

Quote #1823 (+11) [ 2004-04-12, 19:10 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Rage> you disturb me Fod.
<Fod> sometimes i disturb myself
<Fod> and all too often it ends up on ugquotes

Quote #4152 (+4) [ 2007-06-07, 17:20 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Dopefish> We've got to get back to the fucken shire frazza

Quote #2644 (+1) [ 2005-03-24, 10:40 ] [ + | - | X ]

<One``> Hey guys, whats that pipe called that you swing aroung and it makes warbling noises?
<biatch> Penis?
<Dopefish> crack pipe?
<One``> ive never heard a penis warble

Quote #1069 (+6) [ 2003-10-04, 16:58 ] [ + | - | X ]

<thetron> well "your a homo"
<thetron> :D
<sabretooth> "you're" :)
<yale|php> well, "you can't spell"
<yale|php> yup
<thetron> You's go also false teeth
<yale|php> thetron: give up while you're way behind man

Quote #157 (+7) [ 2002-12-12, 03:20 ] [ + | - | X ]

* Rudeboi would like to announce, contrary to smokeyou.org implies, that he is NOT GAY
<FreeFrag> Rudeboi, not what you said last night baby

Quote #1496 (+11) [ 2004-01-09, 23:27 ] [ + | - | X ]

<m> "Penguins have extraordinary pooing powers, according to a team of scientists from a German university. They went to the Antarctic to study the creatures, and found they shoot their poo 38 centimetres from their nests. The scientists worked out the penguins' poo comes out at more than four times the force a human can manage"
<j> I see a new version of Tux Racer

Quote #83 (+1) [ 2002-11-18, 04:16 ] [ + | - | X ]

<afro> u have 2 mins to go and check.. or to google
<K|dDO> im not fucking going to my parents house to check
<jamesob> K|dDO: thats a fair bit of swearing tonight....
<Rudeboi> K|dDO: why, afraid of walking in on your parents having sex again? ;)
<K|dDO> Rudeboi: scared i would see you in my fat sisters bed

Quote #2982 (+1) [ 2005-09-12, 12:43 ] [ + | - | X ]

<The_Bundy> go attack sydney lazy terrorists
<BenZApple> lol theres only 2 things they can take out that would really fuck us over
<BenZApple> Harbour Bridge, or the tunnel
<The_Bundy> what about your water supply
<BenZApple> The_Bundy, we dont have one
<The_Bundy> oh thats ok then

Quote #2463 (+3) [ 2005-01-03, 20:50 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Hadamona> IRC is the only friend I have :/

Quote #1043 (+9) [ 2003-09-30, 21:05 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Apok> bah dont need gym
<Apok> you can tone muscles yourself at home without any fancy pantsy equipment
<Erve> yeah, check out Apok's right forearm

Quote #2308 (+7) [ 2004-09-28, 22:10 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Junkz> only 2 things smell like fish
<Junkz> and one of them is fish

Quote #183 (+6) [ 2002-12-20, 01:42 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Narcolepsy> OMG! Baker has no bunghole!!!
<Baker|BBL> You noticed Narcolepsy :D
<Narcolepsy> Can I see? jk..
<Baker|BBL> Sure! go to www.goa... err...
<Rage> :o

Quote #1095 (+12) [ 2003-10-09, 06:54 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Infra|Red> its all about genetics, genes are what determines the size of a mans penis!
<Sparks_> sif my penis was made by god
<Sparks_> hand crafted it has his logo on it
<Sparks_> u wanna c the logo?

Quote #1158 (+2) [ 2003-10-18, 22:23 ] [ + | - | X ]

<@FreeFrag> shit guys what bra size am i?!
<knowsfords> FreeFrag: I wont know till I cop a feel

Quote #3078 (+7) [ 2005-11-12, 01:28 ] [ + | - | X ]

(outy) ok need another sex shop address
(outy) cant find a picture of the dildo i need
(FatMan) ...WHAT?
(outy) need a dildo.

Quote #65 (+11) [ 2002-11-08, 08:02 ] [ + | - | X ]

<SpeedyD> i have a good girlfriend and a good firewall, cept my firewall never goes down on me

Quote #4105 (+3) [ 2007-05-05, 16:07 ] [ + | - | X ]

<BTC> I think i have just been scarred... there's a Tom Hanks movie on...and he was just wrestling in his jocks with a dog...
<Rage> i was watching porn last night, and the scene was in someone's backyard
<Rage> and in the background some of the 'crew' could be seen playing fetch with a dog
<Agg> i hope "playing fetch" isn't some kind of porn-industry slang i'm not aware of
<Rage> no, its exactly as described
<Rage> the game which involves throwing a stick for the dog to pick up and return to you
<Agg> i hope "throwing a stick" isn't some kind of porn-industry slang i'm not aware of

Quote #1875 (+10) [ 2004-04-25, 23:04 ] [ + | - | X ]

<element> yes crinos and your the virgin mary
<Crinos> my name isn't mary
<Rage> but he is a virgin

Quote #951 (+2) [ 2003-08-25, 19:13 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Bleeter> wrist watches suck because I can't run Notepad.exe on them :(

Quote #670 (+8) [ 2003-06-15, 10:19 ] [ + | - | X ]

<BamBam> Sole is going to hit some. :P
<SoleSurvivor> Speaking of that.
<SoleSurvivor> I was watching porn yesterday with 6 guys and 1 girl.
<SoleSurvivor> Never again.
<SoleSurvivor> I felt so....gay.
<Rowin-Dincht> SoleSurvivor; what the hell did you expect, to feel all happy and tingly inside
<BamBam> You know they were just hoping the could oops into each other.
<damn> Solesurvivor... how did you get the girl to watch it?

Quote #958 (+1) [ 2003-08-28, 00:46 ] [ + | - | X ]

Rei (dohrift@adsl-202-89-169-133.arach.net.au) has joined #overclockers
<Rei> wtf
<Agg> it's called IRC.
<Rei> anyone read me
<Rei> ??
<Agg> no
<Rei> ok

Quote #1720 (+11) [ 2004-03-04, 23:28 ] [ + | - | X ]

<magey> This is never more evident than in wedding pictures. There's always the glimmering, breathtakingly beautiful bride, arms linked to some tuxedoed chimp who looks more like he should be on a corner somewhere banging symbols together for change. This is actually why the wedding veil was first invented. We needed a way to hide how much more attractive the bride was and paper bags were too blatant.
<nwatts> rofl
<nwatts> hahaha
<nwatts> that is fucking gold
<FatMan> ROFL!
<magey> The closest thing guys have to wonderbras are those novelty t-shirts with the muscles drawn on them.

Quote #2495 (+21) [ 2005-01-14, 16:37 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Fod> awesome discovery of the day
<Fod> my sister physically cannot wink
<WhiteyFord> what the hell?
<Fod> she tries to wink but blinks instead
<WhiteyFord> hahaha
<Fod> happens with both eyes
<Fod> it's great :D
<WhiteyFord> wink at her all the time.. ALL THE TIME
<Fod> i'm planning on it
<WhiteyFord> im going to the shops *wink*
<WhiteyFord> dinner is ready *wink*
<WhiteyFord> im going to bed *wink*
<WhiteyFord> wait.. maybe not the last one
<Fod> not sure about that last one
<Fod> :D
<Crudmuffin> lol
<TheWedgie> hahah

Quote #1246 (+13) [ 2003-10-29, 22:15 ] [ + | - | X ]

<DJ-Studd> Gah, anyone have the same problem as me? I'm 17 yet I cannot swallow any tablets! Food is no problem, yet I just CANNOT swallow tablets!! Heeeelp! :S
<biatch> dude, i take tablets an inch long. yours can't be that bad
<LoneWolf_> sabs, she's talking about you again :P

Quote #756 (+9) [ 2003-07-09, 21:13 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Jab> anything interesting of late VooDoo ?
<VooDoo> seems LCD screens are all the rage atm
<VooDoo> and USB products
<VooDoo> oh.. and penis and BALLS enlargements
<Agg> larger balls so you can sit on them more often? sounds great
* VooDoo wonders how Agg sits to be able to say "more often"
<Soc> you've never sat on em before?
<Soc> I have. it hurts.
* VooDoo gets sick thinking about it
<Jab> Soc ? You have sat on Agg's Balls ?
<Soc> Jab: of course. I've hit them with a rubber mallet too.
<Agg> only the once, we were both drunk, we've talked about it and it meant nothing

Quote #3358 (+4) [ 2006-05-10, 01:47 ] [ + | - | X ]

<PsykoSmily> or just buy a chimp and have sex with that
<Recharge> great minds..
[edj] nah... that's just way too michael jackson
<PsykoSmily> lol
<PsykoSmily> you could train the monkey to give perfect head everytime
<PsykoSmily> anyway...
<PsykoSmily> another topic.
* PsykoSmily whistles
<Recharge> oooooooooooook
[edj] yeah, but think of how painful it can get when it instinctively thinks it has to peel the banana first
<PsykoSmily> LOL
<Recharge> you've put far too much imagination into that thought

Quote #2445 (+43) [ 2004-12-22, 11:43 ] [ + | - | X ]

< Jessica> Ash
< Jessica> I'm at a net cafe
< Jessica> I installed firefox
< Jessica> renamed it Internet Explorer
< Jessica> and changed the icon :P
< Jessica> WHERE ARE MY KUDOS

Quote #665 (+7) [ 2003-06-12, 15:50 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Thumblister> yes i really wanted to be at PC4 but I really had to be somehwere else
<LiquidBlues> Thumblister: How are those breast implants taking then?

Quote #3234 (+6) [ 2006-02-02, 06:11 ] [ + | - | X ]

knowsfords: so did I tell you all about the stargate mmorpg?
* knowsfords checks the minutes
SilentRem: its just going to either suck (matrix online) or be constantly delayed (LOTR mmorpg)
thetron: Oh yeah..... Stargate mmorpg expected to suck, a big 10/4
knowsfords: thetron: not excited the slightest about it :S
knowsfords: or are you doing that thing where by your expectations are low so it'll be awesome for when you play it?
thetron: Asoon as they say "the guy whom help create matrix online.." That did it for me
knowsfords: so you're not even going to give it a chance?
thetron: No.

Quote #1706 (+4) [ 2004-03-01, 18:10 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Nozz> ahh, man it's good to be home
<knowsfords> Nozz: missed fondling the relatives?
<FreeFrag> He's probably busy with his sis*cough*
<FreeFrag> Oh, he's back.
<FreeFrag> Hi Nozz. *side glances*
<Fod> which head are you glancing at?

Quote #118 (+3) [ 2002-11-23, 01:30 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Frag|BBL> dear god, there is 77 gay channels on oz.org
<iconoclast> cav must be busy then
<iconoclast> I dont know how he fits those 130 windows on his screen :O
<Frag|BBL> cav is cav@dialup-1-690.brisbane.gayrouter.com.au * innocent
<Frag|BBL> cav on #gayboyz #gaygaygay #gayisgood #iamgay #gayness #allthingsgay #imnotreallygay #gaymenow

Quote #2743 (+10) [ 2005-05-10, 15:53 ] [ + | - | X ]

[spoonhead] i've spent all day doing this stupid assignment thing
[spoonhead] i bet the chicks are going to be impressed with me
[spoonhead] i'll show them up with my raw intellectual power
[spoonhead] and they'll all be like martin come to study group we wants to rub our bodies on u and feed u grapes

Quote #91 (+6) [ 2002-11-19, 01:11 ] [ + | - | X ]

* SHizz moons DJ-Studd
* DJ-Studd takes a photo of shizz' hairy ass and posts it on the net
* SHizz takes foto and adds to the collection