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Quote #2507 (+2) [ 2005-01-16, 23:31 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Flora> So I want to make arrangements and what not
<Flora> How do I do that without a phone!?
<Lartnec> Carrier pigeon.
<Flora> I don't know their address :(
<Lartnec> Send alot of carrier pigeons

Quote #2537 (+2) [ 2005-01-25, 23:59 ] [ + | - | X ]

<@Falkor> i wore my gf's name badge for about 2 months
<@Falkor> "Jessica"
<@Falkor> but then we have this thing, mystery shopper
<@Falkor> were a person orders pizza and surveys us on it
<@Falkor> and on the form they put "Served by: Jessica description: Male, light build, brown hair, 5'10". I think he had the wrong name badge??"
<brembo`> lol
<@Falkor> and my boss laughed at me and told me to stop wearing it heh
<@Falkor> so i just stopped wearing a name badge
<@Falkor> people would go to complain about me "I'm going to complain about you... err.. ahh.. umm *looks for badge*" me: "whatever, go home."

Quote #2543 (+2) [ 2005-01-27, 22:37 ] [ + | - | X ]

<marvy\> my gf's friend got knocked up at 13, had the kid at 14, and the father was a 21y/o black guy, and he didnt get in troubloe AT ALL
<BenZ|Lapto> ...
<-- Yomamma has quit (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
<BenZ|Lapto> Nigga stole her virginity?
<BenZ|Lapto> *runs*
<fen> and her tv apparently..

Quote #2545 (+2) [ 2005-01-28, 18:03 ] [ + | - | X ]

<aftahours> Hadamona: Cos most of our customers are budget tightarses
<Hadamona> lol
<outonanisl> how tight?
<ace234> that got outonanisl interested
<aftahours> as tight as a nuns....
<outonanisl> see you next tuesday aftahours?
<aftahours> see you in a fire?

Quote #2549 (+2) [ 2005-01-30, 20:59 ] [ + | - | X ]

<BenX> who's sexy?
<David> me?
<BenX> unlikely

Quote #2563 (+2) [ 2005-02-04, 09:10 ] [ + | - | X ]

<i386> nko
<i386> I got my mac working yesterday
<nko> uber
<nko> is it pure sex in a box?
<nko> or is it average sex in a box
<nko> or not even sex, maybe something plain, like a handjob in a box
<nko> which, while still enjoyable, is not nearly as pleasurable as even average sex in a box

Quote #2567 (+2) [ 2005-02-05, 09:00 ] [ + | - | X ]

<mazzanet> i want a tribe of 30 south american monkeys.
<Mred32> Didn't you say you already had a large family?

Quote #2569 (+2) [ 2005-02-06, 15:33 ] [ + | - | X ]

<David> Flora you told him our secret? :|
<Flora> I'm sorry!
<David> :'(
<Flora> I blurted it out in a dream!
<David> I splurted it out in a dream also!
<Flora> rofl

Quote #2581 (+2) [ 2005-02-13, 00:06 ] [ + | - | X ]

<marv> Hey
<marv> I just got a new bed
<marv> and its stiff as, i hate it
<marv> do they get less firm over time?
<Iroquois> yes
<marv> good
<Iroquois> try jumping on it
<marv> Dont wanna break it
<Warhamster> hmmm i read that from the bottom up and that sounded... odd
<Iroquois> heh

Quote #2587 (+2) [ 2005-02-16, 21:19 ] [ + | - | X ]

* PoissonBot|akaHardy has joined #valhalla
<PoissonBot|akaHardy> can someone give me an xp VL key...
<TheWedgie> GOTOA-PCSTO-REAND-PAYFO-RIT!!
<TheWedgie> heh, that was much funnier while I was typing it.
<PoissonBot|akaHardy> whats the last two letters?
<TheWedgie> 11
<TheWedgie> my shift key was stuck.
<PoissonBot|akaHardy> doesn't work...
<PoissonBot|akaHardy> is it a VLK?
* The_Wookie slaps TheWedgie around with several types of marine creature
<TheWedgie> hang on PoissonBot|akaHardy
<PoissonBot|akaHardy> thanks
* PoissonBot|akaHardy is now known as Hardy
<TheWedgie> AREY0-USER1-0USLY-THI55-TUP1D
<TheWedgie> *sigh*
<Hardy> haha
<TheWedgie> finally clicked? :P
* Hardy forces a broom up TheWedgie's rectum

Quote #2591 (+2) [ 2005-02-17, 19:41 ] [ + | - | X ]

[ One`` ] my cars beginning to rust, even though i spray it with WD40

Quote #2592 (+2) [ 2005-02-17, 21:50 ] [ + | - | X ]

(LaNcE): what is it with this influx of cheap bar&plate intercoolers!
(Tensopaway): truck carrying intercoolers was hijacked by 4 people driving black honda civics with green underbody neons and kettle blow off valves
(FreeFrag): ROFL
(LaNcE): hahaha
(yale|nfsu2): lol

Quote #2622 (+2) [ 2005-03-10, 17:31 ] [ + | - | X ]

<D_Web> I probably shouldn't half defrost some chick and then put it back in the freezer
<Fod|Work> indeed
<Fod|Work> either bury her or leave her frozen

Quote #2632 (+2) [ 2005-03-19, 22:28 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Syxx`> mind u atm id hit a $2 steak

Quote #2633 (+2) [ 2005-03-20, 00:00 ] [ + | - | X ]

<danamania> spoob: if you listen really carefully through good equipment you can hear the steps in the waveform brought on by the existence of discrete quantum energy states.
<gelfie> dana: pfft you must be using some cheapo korean cd player

Quote #2647 (+2) [ 2005-03-25, 19:54 ] [ + | - | X ]

<n00dle> that was really wierd
<n00dle> i was having a ciggy in my usual spot
<n00dle> at the top of the street
<n00dle> and got to the house and dad is standing in front of the door
<n00dle> and im like 'oh fuck.'
<n00dle> he walks up to me and im like 'hi..'
<n00dle> and he motions for me to give him my hand
<n00dle> so i do
<n00dle> and he dumps something in my hand
<n00dle> and im like er... and he goes 'pretzels!'
<n00dle> and walks off
<n00dle> ...

Quote #2652 (+2) [ 2005-03-26, 18:23 ] [ + | - | X ]

·CapnChron· I met one of Yale's sister.
·Narcolepsy· Which one?
·CapnChron· Narcolepsy: I don't know which one.
·CapnChron· Tall one that is
·Narcolepsy· The whole fucking family is tall.
·Narcolepsy· The young one or the horse-lookin' one?
·CapnChron· The young one that looks like him
·Narcolepsy· And her legs are longer than her torso?
·CapnChron· I don't know, I didn't activate my perve mode

Quote #2663 (+2) [ 2005-04-02, 22:27 ] [ + | - | X ]

<yale> thetron: when you learn to spell, you can pick on people :)
<thetron> I can sell
<ace[work]> bwuhaha
<Lurks> omgooglies
<ace[work]> now thetron shutup before you make an even bigger arse of yourself :)
<yale> well, that proves my point entirely.
<yale> if you want, I can help you jam the other foot in your mouth :)

Quote #2695 (+2) [ 2005-04-19, 20:30 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Erve> phew, took 15mins but I got my rod off
<Erve> wait, I'll take a pic of how much play my rod end has

Quote #2696 (+2) [ 2005-04-20, 00:54 ] [ + | - | X ]

<thetron> Penis image alert on the forums!
<@Wolfy> quick thetron, look now before it gets deleted, then you can compare it with yours

Quote #2740 (+2) [ 2005-05-09, 21:58 ] [ + | - | X ]

<@D_Web> it looks like telstra is being stupid again
<@D_Web> irc is working but that's about it
<@D_Web> I'll be disconnected in a sec
* D_Web has quit IRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
* D_Web has joined #ugbox
<@D_Web> power cycled the modem
<@D_Web> should be ok for about 30 seconds
<@Falkor> WOOO
<@Falkor> TALK QUICKLY
<@Falkor> OMG D_Web how was your day?
<@Falkor> good? yes. cool. hows your mum?
<@Falkor> good? cool how was the weather?
<@Falkor> awesome! when are you buying a new car?!?
<@Falkor> tomorrow! WOOOOO!! YEAH!!
<@gords> heh
* D_Web` has joined #ugbox
* Z sets mode: +o D_Web`
<@Falkor> ahh shit.

Quote #2769 (+2) [ 2005-05-20, 09:01 ] [ + | - | X ]

<@CapnChron> I wanted hail last night
<%zyrorl> why capn?
<%zyrorl> get car fixed on insurance?
<@GM> so he could get stoned
<%zyrorl> rofl
<@GM> literely
<%zyrorl> haha
<@CapnChron> hahaha

Quote #2785 (+2) [ 2005-05-25, 19:04 ] [ + | - | X ]

<D_Web`> I'd imagine you're mre organised and have the ability to concentrate more than me (anyone does), so you should be fine
<TheWedgie> lol
<TheWedgie> dunno D_Web`, i'm pretty bloody disorganised, and lose concentra LETS GO RIDE BIKES

Quote #2809 (+2) [ 2005-06-02, 20:52 ] [ + | - | X ]

<wild`> TheWedgie: got a Q for you.. is there a way of telling if we have more than one exchange in dubbo? (I think there's only one, but my brother reckons there's another)
<TheWedgie> yeah
<TheWedgie> kinda
<eDust> ring up telstra and say "hey the dubbo exchange is on fire". if they ask which one, then you know there's more than 1
<wild`> lol
<FreeFrag> lol eDust
<Apok> lol
<Apok> go with edusts idea
<FreeFrag> You'll probably just get TheWedgie and he'll start laughing and ask for pictures
<wild`> rofl
<eDust> lol
<TheWedgie> ahaha

Quote #2832 (+2) [ 2005-06-19, 14:50 ] [ + | - | X ]

<the_squid> Eminoir!
<the_squid> i found the rubber cock!
<Eminoir> uh oh.... er..... i was curious?
<the_squid> :|
<the_squid> i also managed to escape the cop shop with a 5 star police rating
<the_squid> which was fun
<Eminoir> oh, gta, right
<the_squid> no this was IRL
<Eminoir> :|

Quote #2861 (+2) [ 2005-07-03, 20:00 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Skitzo> A Taiwan stock trader mistakenly bought $251 million worth of shares with a misstroke of her computer keyboard, meaning her company is looking at a paper loss of more than $12 million and she is looking for a new job.
<Skitzo> Hahahaha
<Quan-Time> err say what ?
<Quan-Time> how is that possible to "MISTAKE
<Quan-Time> OH FFS
<Quan-Time> fukin teyboard
<Eminoir> just like that :P

Quote #2883 (+2) [ 2005-07-16, 10:28 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Lombers> I have decided
<Lombers> I hate all PC places now
<Lombers> the problem is, they know nothing about customer service
<Lombers> because the people who started the good ones are pretty much geeks
<Lombers> and have no idea how to actually interact with people
<Lombers> sure they know their tech stuff
<Lombers> but that's about it
<Redback> what do they do when a girl wants to buy a new motherboard?
<Lombers> they premature ejaculate
<Redback> rofl
<pace> its not like i ordered a $15 modem
<Lombers> I know, and that's the problem
<Lombers> their problem is, they keep thinking to themselves that they will be able to get it in
<Lombers> instead of saying "look, I'll be conservative here, it'll take 2 weeks minimum"
<Lombers> then if they get it in earlier the customer would be like "omg that's the best service ever"

Quote #2896 (+2) [ 2005-07-24, 21:56 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Trenton> hey tim tim
<Eminoir> hello
<Trenton> i need ur assistance
<Trenton> aka. full help
<Trenton> i dont know how to setup thunderbird for gmail
<Eminoir> tried google?
<Trenton> how do i try google?

Quote #2914 (+2) [ 2005-07-30, 18:16 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Niche> u will know me cause im bald
<svga> to baldly go where no man has gone before.
<Brains> Didn't Jean-luc Picard already do that? :)

Quote #2913 (+2) [ 2005-07-30, 16:31 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Rage> i've got sexual magnetism in my pants
<brembo`> you've got the polarity set the wrong way though

Quote #2959 (+2) [ 2005-08-31, 06:09 ] [ + | - | X ]

Iroquois: bollocks
Iroquois: england win
outy: are you going to cry?
Iroquois: I already am. Don't mock me

Quote #2962 (+2) [ 2005-09-01, 17:52 ] [ + | - | X ]

--- VoX is now known as VeganZombie
<VeganZombie> GRAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSS........
--- VeganZombie is now known as VoX

Quote #3036 (+2) [ 2005-10-19, 22:28 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Jazarus> I want to stop looking at porn and go back to going to church
<Fred_Nurk> sure you do
<IKT> get a psp, do both at the same time

Quote #3051 (+2) [ 2005-10-28, 09:41 ] [ + | - | X ]

oli: any car knowledgable people here?
Grosby: what do you need to know about a car?
oli: ive got a car sitting in the driveway with a jack under one side, and two piles of bricks on the other
oli: a monaro
oli: :(
Grosby: You live in Ipswich?

Quote #3059 (+2) [ 2005-10-31, 20:46 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Junkz> a female call centre chick in india rang me tonight
<Junkz> and i ruined her lifge
<Junkz> i dont know where from
<Junkz> but she only wanted to take 40 seconds of my time
<Junkz> so before she started i said “can i ask a question first?”
<Junkz> she said yes
<Junkz> BIG MISTAKE
<Junkz> i ask “what colour panties are you wearing?”
<Junkz> silence for 10 seconds
<Crudmuffin> ROFL Junkz
<Junkz> “im sorry i cant answe that quiestion
<Junkz> so i say “oh ok... does that mean you arent wearing any panties today?”
<Crudmuffin> haha
<kermie> klif-e asked the exact same questions to the woman at the real estate agent today
<Junkz> 20 seconds of silence
<Junkz> then she gave me the end of call speel
<Junkz> so i hung up
<Junkz> poor girl
<Junkz> she shoulda told me what colour
<Junkz> then i would have entertained her

Quote #3071 (+2) [ 2005-11-07, 00:45 ] [ + | - | X ]

<outy> yes bullet, im so gay even my gay friends call me a poofter.

Quote #3171 (+2) [ 2006-01-05, 10:14 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Hunter> i prefer to think of them as attainable women, rather than ugly
<Hunter> shard, i only have a few selection criteria
<One``> I require there to be a hole for birthing, and hands for cooking.

Quote #3237 (+2) [ 2006-02-03, 01:23 ] [ + | - | X ]

<dec> is it sad if I go out and just 'admire' my car?
<dec> or peek at it through the window?
<dec> maybe i could just go and sleep in it tonight
<aftahours> lol
<dec> i was serious :(

Quote #3255 (+2) [ 2006-02-14, 02:48 ] [ + | - | X ]

<StiNg> whats bukkake ?
<eXemplar> for the love of god don't google image it!
<eroda> lol
<Stygian> lol
<eroda> ahaha
<Jessica> Meh.
<StiNg> lol
<Jessica> It's not so disturbing.
<eroda> http://chikko2.seesaa.net/image/bukkake.JPG
<Agg> hmm, i wonder if that's 2 minute bukkake
<eXemplar> hhahaha
<eroda> ahaha
<Mred32> lol
<Jessica> 2 minute bukkake doesn't look like that :(
<Jessica> Not that I'd know :(
<eXemplar> ... of course ;-)
<Jessica> >_>
<Jessica> <_<
<Agg> shouldn't that be *_< ?
<Jessica> hahahahaha
<eroda> ha
<Jessica> Poor face.

Quote #3270 (+2) [ 2006-02-25, 20:19 ] [ + | - | X ]

<thetron> FreeFrag: Most of the news is copy and paste
<FreeFrag> thetron, no, it clearly isn't.
<FreeFrag> You have to write up a bit about what each news article is about, and you're nto cabapel of doineg taht.
<thetron> I can't understand what you said. Atleast i could spell it right

Quote #3268 (+2) [ 2006-02-25, 18:38 ] [ + | - | X ]

<deepspring> you alive
<outy> yeah
<outy> sup??
<deepspring> nothing much... just saw a guy on the news from ipswich that got shot
<deepspring> the guy was a mental patient and apparently wen burko
<outy> lol
<outy> glad to see you thought about me
<deepspring> I was really worried
<deepspring> http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200602/s1578252.htm

Quote #3276 (+2) [ 2006-03-04, 11:17 ] [ + | - | X ]

<WedgieAFK> sure you can do without it, it's still a 'want' rather than a 'need'
<@Laninoir> like anal
* eraserwk its a need

Quote #3335 (+2) [ 2006-04-25, 15:11 ] [ + | - | X ]

Baker: Heh, I just zoomed in and found my car at work on Google Earth

Quote #3392 (+2) [ 2006-06-03, 18:37 ] [ + | - | X ]

thetron - I live near two huge AM towers
thetron - thats some juice
knowsfords - thetron: you just explained so... so much
FreeFrag - And look what it's done to you thetron. Point made.
Fred_Nurk - thetron, its probably possible to extract some of that power, at least enough to light a small bulb
thetron- Fred_Nurk: Yes you could hold a flurecent near it. If you got close
mazzanet - ...
mazzanet - and what would the "flurecent" do?
mazzanet - turn into pizza
mazzanet - ?

Quote #3413 (+2) [ 2006-06-22, 09:23 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Psy> time to put pants on, gf's 16yr old sis is visiting :(
<raphWRKN> is she cute?
<Psy> eww
<Psy> she's 16!
<nutcase> the question is valid
<nutcase> sick
<nutcase> but valid

Quote #3454 (+2) [ 2006-07-18, 18:21 ] [ + | - | X ]

* FatMan runs his hands through his hair and wonders what the hell to do upgrade-wise
< FatMan> so out of touch with all this new fandangled computer hardware stuff
<@Bern|PuB> have you considered going blonde FatMan?

Quote #3501 (+2) [ 2006-08-08, 22:52 ] [ + | - | X ]

<klif-e> Number of babies
<klif-e> Based on your response to question 3 (sex), you are not required to answer this question
<klif-e> ;)
<Norgs-> what?
<Norgs-> you had sex with babies?
<Norgs-> thats bad klif-e.
<xphile> lol
<Simboo> lol
<Simboo> fkn poms

Quote #3503 (+2) [ 2006-08-09, 16:32 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Jason|PHL> i don't dig machines.
<Andy6Days> I don't dig graves.
<Andy6Days> On Wednesdays.

Quote #3514 (+2) [ 2006-08-19, 07:21 ] [ + | - | X ]

Jessica: Ugh.
Jessica: My housemates in the next room are either watching a bad anime where the main character is an annoying asian who has sex all day
Draffa: or?
Jessica: Or they're busy having annoying loud asian sex
Jessica: It's not even the kind of sex that makes you want to have sex
Jessica: it's the kind of sex where you're like "Are they molesting a giant mouse?
outy: when they get to the part with the giraffe let me know

Quote #3522 (+2) [ 2006-08-23, 23:16 ] [ + | - | X ]

[23:21] <LomTop> windows was never designed to keep programs running