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Quote #1558 (+2) [ 2004-01-27, 16:00 ] [ + | - | X ]

<jimx> haha, some guy wants to know how to fix his malfunctioning floppy drive. i'm tempted to tell him to swap it with one from a work pc :)
<jimx> asking "How do I fix this floppy drive" is like asking "How do I re-use this staple?"

Quote #1575 (+2) [ 2004-01-31, 22:58 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Hunter> Crystal i have the beach pics on my pc, gonna upload them now
<Crystal> Coolies! ^_^
<Nozz> beach pics? sounds kinky
<Hunter> not quite
<element> just watched the movie "i am sam"
<element> :D
<TensopAway> sex on the beach/
<Crystal> what was that like?
<Hunter> :D
<Crystal> (the movie, not the sex)
<Nozz> Sex on the beach with Crystal? :-p
<element> good actually

Quote #1604 (+2) [ 2004-02-08, 14:24 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Cav> yeah, i had an anal teacher, MadHatter
<Decker> so thats where you learnt anal
<Cav> really funny, asshat..
<Decker> you said it
* Decker just caught the pass

Quote #1659 (+2) [ 2004-02-19, 16:34 ] [ + | - | X ]

<SuperTed> when i sing i get high
<SuperTed> :D
<Fall> my god
<aenima> when i get high, i sing

Quote #1724 (+2) [ 2004-03-05, 14:10 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Fod> well, what's more important, your education or your computer?
<Fod> (if you say education, i'll have option but to kick you)
<Fod> *no option
<Fod> jeez my english is shit today, i guess that's what you get for putting your computer ahead of your education :)

Quote #1743 (+2) [ 2004-03-15, 21:02 ] [ + | - | X ]

<PsychoMatt> bh, why do you have that many coins?
<bh> PsychoMatt: i take coins out of my wallet each day
<bh> because theyre annoying to sit on
<bh> and i just chuck them in this container
<Fragwizard> heh
<PsychoMatt> i could count the amount of coons i have in one hand
<PsychoMatt> COINS
<Lombers> that's going to ugbox
<Squigy> ...
<bh> haha

Quote #1767 (+2) [ 2004-03-24, 19:58 ] [ + | - | X ]

<eDust> did u guys know phone companies keep a log of all SMS's sent
<TheWedgie> eDust: yes, yes i did.
<eDust> :|
<TheWedgie> but you'd be surprised at how hard it is to get access to them, and how heavily the system is logged
<TheWedgie> with telstra anyhoo. ;)
<Fod> can't get at them with telstra because the server is down?

Quote #1778 (+2) [ 2004-03-27, 00:45 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Fod> http://www.hcs.harvard.edu/~golder/dialect/staticmaps/q_43.gif <- the non-red dots represent people who believe Texas is spelt Texaz. Note many of them are WITHIN THE STATE.
<Nozz> is that middle-bottom state texas?
<Fod> the big one, yes
<Nozz> That's a worry
<Nozz> oh well
<Nozz> I don't anyone had any doubt that americans were stupid
<Nozz> doubt
<Nozz> Evidendently I've from Texaz too.
<Fod> :)
<Nozz> I'm, fuckit
<Fod> haha, and i was assuming it was deliberate
* Fod makes note to never make that mistake again

Quote #1795 (+2) [ 2004-04-01, 12:01 ] [ + | - | X ]

<inf3rn0> dan is better looking than Agg

Quote #1801 (+2) [ 2004-04-04, 22:58 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Sciby> From what FF said and from my fuzzy memory, it went along the lines of 'TheTron is talking out of his magical ass.' I think Agg said it.
<thetron> Sciby and FreeFrag keep your flame wars comfined to #overclockers and only there. Calling people names and flaming them isn't productive and gets you no credit
<FreeFrag> thetron, you're silly, and I'll say that wherever I want.
<Sciby> thetron: I don't need no steenking credit.

Quote #1832 (+2) [ 2004-04-14, 16:28 ] [ + | - | X ]

* Rik has joined #channel
<Rik> it's help a newbie time...
* Fod helps freefrag

Quote #1838 (+2) [ 2004-04-15, 21:33 ] [ + | - | X ]

<LoneWolf_> doesn't insurance give you a car till yours is fixed / written off?
<yaleman> that's only if your car breaks down over 100km from your house
<yaleman> not if you smash it into some other carns

Quote #1850 (+2) [ 2004-04-17, 11:37 ] [ + | - | X ]

<knowsfords> when you say the secret magic words you become super tired?
<Fod> yeah knowsfords, and me and the spottyman go to bed

Quote #1874 (+2) [ 2004-04-25, 22:25 ] [ + | - | X ]

<TensopAway> Currawong: i'm pondering sticking my wang in a pencil sharpener
<bh> TensopAway: it can fit?
<TensopAway> bh: yeah, my cock is mega small..

Quote #1890 (+2) [ 2004-04-29, 01:48 ] [ + | - | X ]

[predder] you calling me a noob ethanol?
*** Draffa has quit IRC (Quit: brb)
[ethanol] no i'm calling oz.orgy a n00b
[Brett''] there are 1700 ppl in this orgy, there is bound to be SOME things go wrong
[ethanol] true
[Brett''] ppl connecting to the wrong ports

Quote #1970 (+2) [ 2004-05-17, 18:56 ] [ + | - | X ]

<mazzanet> why am i banned from #overclockers
<mazzanet> no wait
<mazzanet> my bad.

Quote #2625 (+2) [ 2005-03-15, 00:02 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Rage> haha mad
<Rage> just went squid jigging
<WhiteyAIR> you what?
<wild> ...
<Rage> squid jigging
<Rage> fishing for squid
<wild> wait, 'fishing for squid' could also be taken the wrong way...
<Rage> its funny when you catch 'em and they ink all over the place
<wild> :o

Quote #2061 (+2) [ 2004-06-16, 21:07 ] [ + | - | X ]

<eDust> eew, internet blood
<eDust> almost as bad as tv blood

Quote #2109 (+2) [ 2004-07-06, 09:00 ] [ + | - | X ]

<blah1234> Thhhza, i run X-Chat on WIndoze instead of mirc. Pretty good and free
<Tensop> blah1234: anti-conformist bastard :)
<Quilb> Tensop: need i remind you that you are running linux in vmware?

Quote #2146 (+2) [ 2004-07-14, 16:56 ] [ + | - | X ]

<waz|away> and yeah, those replays of Hopoate crack me up everytime
<waz|away> what the fuck was he thinking?
<waz|away> besides "theres a hole, Im gonna put my finger in it"

Quote #2171 (+2) [ 2004-07-21, 13:15 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Owen> Cool. Giant mandarine in the fridge.
<Paladin> i wish I had some giant fruits at tafe with me
<Paladin> oh wait, I do
<Paladin> stupid people.... hate them all

Quote #2272 (+2) [ 2004-09-03, 02:27 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Darkash> but i ran out of light
<Darkash> so i had to leave it to tommorrow
<@Lartnec> heeey thats an idea, we could make some sort of lighting device that we could use when it gets dark
<@Lartnec> maybe some fire on the end of a bit of string
<@Lartnec> with soemthing.... lets say wax around it
<@Carl> Lartnec, will it have a TV?
<@Lartnec> I was thinking a mobile phone

Quote #2333 (+2) [ 2004-10-15, 01:11 ] [ + | - | X ]

<GFORCE> sup Agg
<Agg> GFORCE - take the hint, i don't respond to "sup agg"
<predder> Agg - do you respond to iceland women --> http://this.is/criple/Myndir%20022.jpg :D
<Agg> predder - she's orrite :)
<Agg> if this slowly-loading picture turns out to have a penis attached to the bottom third of it, i'm going to be very upset.
<predder> damn, didnt realise how big that image was
<eDust> it's safe Agg
<predder> heh, you'll be pleasantly suprised
<Agg> mmm, she's just how i like my women. out of focus and with lots of CCD noise.

Quote #2408 (+2) [ 2004-12-04, 08:47 ] [ + | - | X ]

<sabretooth> Yeah who's the nerd now!
<biatch> This is like pot calling the kettle black, huh?
<sabretooth> Miss MMORPG!
<biatch> Shut up, bitch.

Quote #2467 (+2) [ 2005-01-04, 20:52 ] [ + | - | X ]

* Agg changes topic to '<neolithic> some bitch was right up me <biatch> Better than re-stuffing when he gets fatter :P'

Quote #2563 (+2) [ 2005-02-04, 09:10 ] [ + | - | X ]

<i386> nko
<i386> I got my mac working yesterday
<nko> uber
<nko> is it pure sex in a box?
<nko> or is it average sex in a box
<nko> or not even sex, maybe something plain, like a handjob in a box
<nko> which, while still enjoyable, is not nearly as pleasurable as even average sex in a box

Quote #2567 (+2) [ 2005-02-05, 09:00 ] [ + | - | X ]

<mazzanet> i want a tribe of 30 south american monkeys.
<Mred32> Didn't you say you already had a large family?

Quote #2581 (+2) [ 2005-02-13, 00:06 ] [ + | - | X ]

<marv> Hey
<marv> I just got a new bed
<marv> and its stiff as, i hate it
<marv> do they get less firm over time?
<Iroquois> yes
<marv> good
<Iroquois> try jumping on it
<marv> Dont wanna break it
<Warhamster> hmmm i read that from the bottom up and that sounded... odd
<Iroquois> heh

Quote #2587 (+2) [ 2005-02-16, 21:19 ] [ + | - | X ]

* PoissonBot|akaHardy has joined #valhalla
<PoissonBot|akaHardy> can someone give me an xp VL key...
<TheWedgie> GOTOA-PCSTO-REAND-PAYFO-RIT!!
<TheWedgie> heh, that was much funnier while I was typing it.
<PoissonBot|akaHardy> whats the last two letters?
<TheWedgie> 11
<TheWedgie> my shift key was stuck.
<PoissonBot|akaHardy> doesn't work...
<PoissonBot|akaHardy> is it a VLK?
* The_Wookie slaps TheWedgie around with several types of marine creature
<TheWedgie> hang on PoissonBot|akaHardy
<PoissonBot|akaHardy> thanks
* PoissonBot|akaHardy is now known as Hardy
<TheWedgie> AREY0-USER1-0USLY-THI55-TUP1D
<TheWedgie> *sigh*
<Hardy> haha
<TheWedgie> finally clicked? :P
* Hardy forces a broom up TheWedgie's rectum

Quote #2591 (+2) [ 2005-02-17, 19:41 ] [ + | - | X ]

[ One`` ] my cars beginning to rust, even though i spray it with WD40

Quote #2592 (+2) [ 2005-02-17, 21:50 ] [ + | - | X ]

(LaNcE): what is it with this influx of cheap bar&plate intercoolers!
(Tensopaway): truck carrying intercoolers was hijacked by 4 people driving black honda civics with green underbody neons and kettle blow off valves
(FreeFrag): ROFL
(LaNcE): hahaha
(yale|nfsu2): lol

Quote #2606 (+2) [ 2005-02-24, 14:57 ] [ + | - | X ]

* sabretooth changes topic to '* FreeFrag uses the abovementioned wooden spoon on Firemoth's ass <Firemoth> Harder! * FreeFrag spanks harder <Freefrag> Oooh!'

Quote #2630 (+2) [ 2005-03-18, 11:47 ] [ + | - | X ]

[ bkuebler]: wait.
[ bkuebler]: allow me to check my facts.
[ bkuebler]: I am an idiot...
[ rjbs]: You needed to *check* that?

Quote #2647 (+2) [ 2005-03-25, 19:54 ] [ + | - | X ]

<n00dle> that was really wierd
<n00dle> i was having a ciggy in my usual spot
<n00dle> at the top of the street
<n00dle> and got to the house and dad is standing in front of the door
<n00dle> and im like 'oh fuck.'
<n00dle> he walks up to me and im like 'hi..'
<n00dle> and he motions for me to give him my hand
<n00dle> so i do
<n00dle> and he dumps something in my hand
<n00dle> and im like er... and he goes 'pretzels!'
<n00dle> and walks off
<n00dle> ...

Quote #2652 (+2) [ 2005-03-26, 18:23 ] [ + | - | X ]

·CapnChron· I met one of Yale's sister.
·Narcolepsy· Which one?
·CapnChron· Narcolepsy: I don't know which one.
·CapnChron· Tall one that is
·Narcolepsy· The whole fucking family is tall.
·Narcolepsy· The young one or the horse-lookin' one?
·CapnChron· The young one that looks like him
·Narcolepsy· And her legs are longer than her torso?
·CapnChron· I don't know, I didn't activate my perve mode

Quote #2688 (+2) [ 2005-04-16, 14:44 ] [ + | - | X ]

<ColdFusion> would any of you believe me if i said i did 160 past a cop in an unmarked, they pulled me over and i got nothing?
<Lurks> ColdFusion: did you have to swallow?
<ColdFusion> i know it sounds REALLY bs
<ColdFusion> no
<Lurks> so you spat?
<ColdFusion> no
<yaleman> gargled :P
<Lurks> lol
<ColdFusion> ..

Quote #2718 (+2) [ 2005-04-28, 10:50 ] [ + | - | X ]

[ canadiant]: Im in love lol. I found a girl that can subnet! :D

Quote #2739 (+2) [ 2005-05-09, 19:08 ] [ + | - | X ]

<angelessme> the volume of asian schoolgirls there between 3-5 makes it look like japan
<tensopaway> yeah but none of them are hot
<psy^> i'm glad you said that tensopaway
<psy^> schoolgirls between 3-5 rarely are

Quote #2740 (+2) [ 2005-05-09, 21:58 ] [ + | - | X ]

<@D_Web> it looks like telstra is being stupid again
<@D_Web> irc is working but that's about it
<@D_Web> I'll be disconnected in a sec
* D_Web has quit IRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
* D_Web has joined #ugbox
<@D_Web> power cycled the modem
<@D_Web> should be ok for about 30 seconds
<@Falkor> WOOO
<@Falkor> TALK QUICKLY
<@Falkor> OMG D_Web how was your day?
<@Falkor> good? yes. cool. hows your mum?
<@Falkor> good? cool how was the weather?
<@Falkor> awesome! when are you buying a new car?!?
<@Falkor> tomorrow! WOOOOO!! YEAH!!
<@gords> heh
* D_Web` has joined #ugbox
* Z sets mode: +o D_Web`
<@Falkor> ahh shit.

Quote #2747 (+2) [ 2005-05-12, 01:24 ] [ + | - | X ]

<sagit> it is currently precipitating heavily here
<hazza-> ?
<timace> its raining, fag

Quote #2839 (+2) [ 2005-06-22, 04:01 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Rage> so, someone tell me something new.
<predder> ''Something New'' was the Beatles' third Capitol release, but fifth American album following the UA release of ''A Hard Day's Night''. This album includes songs left off that release except "I'll Be Back", as well as the remaining tracks "Slow Down" and "Matchbox" from the ''Long Tall Sally'' EP and the German release of "I Want To Hold Your Hand".

In 2004 this album was released for the first time on CD as part of ''The Capitol Albums, Volume 1'' box set.

Quote #2899 (+2) [ 2005-07-25, 09:54 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Narcolepsy> I could, I suppose, go and drop off my crank.
<Lexi> er... crank?
<Narcolepsy> Crankshaft.
<Lexi> Sounds kinky? :)
<Narcolepsy> Getting it reground and balanced, and possibly other work done to it.
<Narcolepsy> And if they can press the gudgeon pins out of my pistons, they can balance and shot peen my conrods while they're at it.
<Lexi> Either you're talking about a car, or you're talking about some very interesting sexual fantasy. Which is it?
<Narcolepsy> Car. Engine rebuild. Go fast bits. No sex.
<shift> i thought it was both
<shift> the car was part of his sexual fantasy
<Narcolepsy> I DENY!
<Lexi> Is its semen black?
<Narcolepsy> Yes.
<Lexi> Ah, so it WAS a sexual fantasy :)
<Narcolepsy> And it leaks lots of it every day.

Quote #2953 (+2) [ 2005-08-26, 20:37 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Umber> I always found school totally contradictory
<Umber> In normal schools, trying to pat your head while rubbing your stomach is considered somewhat of a scientific experiment to find how much self control you have
<Umber> Whilst in "special" schools, it's a sign of no self control whatsoever

Quote #2962 (+2) [ 2005-09-01, 17:52 ] [ + | - | X ]

--- VoX is now known as VeganZombie
<VeganZombie> GRAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSS........
--- VeganZombie is now known as VoX

Quote #3036 (+2) [ 2005-10-19, 22:28 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Jazarus> I want to stop looking at porn and go back to going to church
<Fred_Nurk> sure you do
<IKT> get a psp, do both at the same time

Quote #3051 (+2) [ 2005-10-28, 09:41 ] [ + | - | X ]

oli: any car knowledgable people here?
Grosby: what do you need to know about a car?
oli: ive got a car sitting in the driveway with a jack under one side, and two piles of bricks on the other
oli: a monaro
oli: :(
Grosby: You live in Ipswich?

Quote #3059 (+2) [ 2005-10-31, 20:46 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Junkz> a female call centre chick in india rang me tonight
<Junkz> and i ruined her lifge
<Junkz> i dont know where from
<Junkz> but she only wanted to take 40 seconds of my time
<Junkz> so before she started i said “can i ask a question first?”
<Junkz> she said yes
<Junkz> BIG MISTAKE
<Junkz> i ask “what colour panties are you wearing?”
<Junkz> silence for 10 seconds
<Crudmuffin> ROFL Junkz
<Junkz> “im sorry i cant answe that quiestion
<Junkz> so i say “oh ok... does that mean you arent wearing any panties today?”
<Crudmuffin> haha
<kermie> klif-e asked the exact same questions to the woman at the real estate agent today
<Junkz> 20 seconds of silence
<Junkz> then she gave me the end of call speel
<Junkz> so i hung up
<Junkz> poor girl
<Junkz> she shoulda told me what colour
<Junkz> then i would have entertained her

Quote #3111 (+2) [ 2005-11-27, 20:29 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Fod> uwe boll
<Fod> the man is a genius
<Fod> no doubt about it
<Fod> no one could possibly be that hopeless, so the only alternative is that he's simply misunderstood

Quote #3127 (+2) [ 2005-12-10, 00:07 ] [ + | - | X ]

<eNeb`Destero> what is his real name?
<Daemo> whats it matter? just use his online name
<Daemo> 90% of people call me Daemo in real life too
<eNeb`Destero> ok i got his ip dont worry
<Daemo> you gonna call him by his IP address?
<Daemo> hey, 61.9.128.13, get your ass over here now!

Quote #3171 (+2) [ 2006-01-05, 10:14 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Hunter> i prefer to think of them as attainable women, rather than ugly
<Hunter> shard, i only have a few selection criteria
<One``> I require there to be a hole for birthing, and hands for cooking.