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Quote #254 (+5) [ 2003-01-16, 08:03 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Chronic> Hey peeps!
<Chronic> Who wanna hear a joke?
<Chronic> haha
<Chronic> Why did z3n|A cross the road?
<Chronic> Because his dick was stuck in a chicken
<Chronic> :p
<z3n|A> :O

Quote #1582 (-1) [ 2004-02-02, 04:43 ] [ + | - | X ]

* Cav runs off to fufill nicotiene cravings
<Fod> don't lock yourself out
<Cav> watch it :P
<Fod> unless you got that sugar glass from lombers
<Cav> for fucks sake :P

Quote #609 (+10) [ 2003-05-31, 13:31 ] [ + | - | X ]

(+CapnChron): I'm so stupid.
(+CapnChron): The phone rang.. I picked it up and put it to my ear...
(+CapnChron): Know what I just realised?
(+CapnChron): I forgot I was deaf

Quote #3069 (-3) [ 2005-11-06, 23:45 ] [ + | - | X ]

<@Agg> i'm not gay, but i think my boyfriend might be

Quote #1301 (+46) [ 2003-11-11, 15:00 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Fod> okay kids, business pitch time
<Fod> tell if me if it'll sell
<Fod> prawn crackers, shaped like nekkid ladies
<Fod> called pr0n crackers :)

Quote #64 (+5) [ 2002-11-08, 06:55 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Rudeboi> zit just me or are the new nokia's getting more and more gay? : http://www.howardchui.com/images/reviewpics/expocomm2002/nokia6800-05.jpg
<SileNceR> Rudeboi - you're the only one getting more and more gay.
<Rudeboi> SileNceR: how did u know? ur sexy body just turns me on soo much
* Rudeboi goes and pukes after what he just said

Quote #2775 (+4) [ 2005-05-20, 18:35 ] [ + | - | X ]

<@Chuggy> You know over in toronto or some place in North America. The coppers there found out that in a case of 100 rapes, 80% of them were done by people who where star trek fans. Or fans of that kind of genra thingo.
<@Sciby> Really?
<@Chuggy> yeah
<@Sciby> I like Star Trek.
* @Dee eyes Sciby
* @Sciby takes off his pants.

Quote #965 (+1) [ 2003-08-28, 23:00 ] [ + | - | X ]

<_3pb_> one of my (2) cats has like a retard ninja thing goin on
<_3pb_> its hell scared of shit and goes all commando and stuff
<_3pb_> i think its even killed a man

Quote #2228 (+11) [ 2004-08-08, 23:33 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Falkor> Redback, fark... on the tip of my tongue..
<Falkor> err. the name of the song that is.
<Redback> you want me to do what on the tip of your tounge?
<Falkor> yeah yeah.. shutup..

Quote #216 (+12) [ 2002-12-30, 11:23 ] [ + | - | X ]

<orlock> every time a flash animation appears on screen i jerk the mouse
<Darkness> I bet the mouse isn't complaining.

Quote #968 (0) [ 2003-08-29, 16:01 ] [ + | - | X ]

<RoSWeLL> LOL ahahahah sister got her tongue pierced i told her you wont be able to talk by today she didnt believe me now she is complaining while im laughing in her face trying to listen to her speak
<Bipdehone> ouch what does her tongue look like atm?
<Bleeter> lol
<Bipdehone> can u see?
<Bipdehone> is it bloated?
<Bipdehone> Well?
<Sponge> swollen
<Sponge> ?
<Bipdehone> question really is how swollen
<Sponge> like a penis full of viagra
<RoSWeLL> lol its huge

Quote #1831 (+3) [ 2004-04-14, 12:22 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Stevie> coz that 120gb seagate sata drive is good, but i can't use it
<Borg-[W]> then maybe its not the drives but the organic interface that has the problem
<Stevie> organic interface
<Stevie> ?

Quote #888 (+6) [ 2003-08-12, 21:04 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Erve> saw a fatality today
<predder> a death?
<Erve> :/
<Lurks> predder: no a birth
<StormCyko> i've never seen a fatality
<Erve> no, I killed someone in mortal kombat
<Erve> of course a death

Quote #1222 (+10) [ 2003-10-26, 00:33 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Nemmy> dad - put the probe in your arse mate
<dad> but it doesnt fit properly
<dad> the pins are so close together

Quote #4139 (+10) [ 2007-06-03, 19:53 ] [ + | - | X ]

<wayne> damn ubuntu resetting my DNA
<Shaun> wayne: Ubuntu does gene therapy now?
<wayne> heh, DNS

Quote #930 (+2) [ 2003-08-19, 21:49 ] [ + | - | X ]

<BobsYourUncle> my damn fly keeps unzipping itself
<Ros`away> sure its not your hand bob ?

Quote #2233 (0) [ 2004-08-09, 14:40 ] [ + | - | X ]

<timace> argh, its weird with the backslash being in a different position to what i'm used to
<timace> i'm like "where is it!? BITCH STOLE MY... oh there it is"

Quote #1845 (+7) [ 2004-04-16, 23:34 ] [ + | - | X ]

<chubba> mazzanet: i just dont tolerate bullshit from cocksmokers
<chubba> i.e. yourself

Quote #1743 (+2) [ 2004-03-15, 21:02 ] [ + | - | X ]

<PsychoMatt> bh, why do you have that many coins?
<bh> PsychoMatt: i take coins out of my wallet each day
<bh> because theyre annoying to sit on
<bh> and i just chuck them in this container
<Fragwizard> heh
<PsychoMatt> i could count the amount of coons i have in one hand
<PsychoMatt> COINS
<Lombers> that's going to ugbox
<Squigy> ...
<bh> haha

Quote #249 (+7) [ 2003-01-15, 12:55 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Forraje> my gf doesn't know the extent of my OCAU addiction yet :)
<eazy> I'm sure she's wondering if you have another "woman".
<Forraje> "are you cheating on me with one of those internet sluts?"
<eazy> hahaha
<Forraje> "well, if you consider Agg an internet slut, then yeah, i guess"
<Hibba> yeh bh, is ur internet slut
<nismo> yeh its bh
<Narc|ZzZz> No, bh is his bitch...
<Forraje> bh thrusts himself upon me
<Forraje> completely unwanted attention
<bh> Forraje I dont wanna sound like a queer or nothing, but I'd kinda love to make love to you tonight

Quote #2764 (-1) [ 2005-05-18, 16:29 ] [ + | - | X ]

(gr3m): if only IRC had webcam support...
(Falkor): need a jpeg to text converter
(Falkor): :D
(rewn_): i know
(rewn_): right click on a name, select view webcam
(rewn_): and see tits
(rewn_): !
(rewn_): irc would be complete them
(Falkor): lol

Quote #2540 (+5) [ 2005-01-27, 16:02 ] [ + | - | X ]

[ vanguard- ] *you must be this tall to ride the netsplit*

Quote #2162 (+1) [ 2004-07-19, 21:11 ] [ + | - | X ]

* kaji is also half dutch
<^Lis> fantastic! a compliment it is then!
<^Lis> does that mean you have a big penis kaji?
<kaji> hhehehehehehe
<^Lis> you being half dutch that is?
<^Lis> lol
* kaji smiles
<^Lis> actually, shouldn't it mean you have a half big penis...you only being half dutch and all :P

Quote #1998 (+5) [ 2004-05-25, 19:56 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Fod> Tasmanians are great dancers, they might have two left feet but they have two right arms to balance it out

Quote #987 (+3) [ 2003-09-02, 01:37 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Agg> left hand is easier

Quote #2348 (0) [ 2004-10-20, 17:22 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Crudmuffin> wonder if my car insurance company would like it if they knew i were applying for a rally license

Quote #3147 (+7) [ 2005-12-17, 19:00 ] [ + | - | X ]

[18:59] <David> any of you nerds talk to jessica this morning before she left for the lan?
[18:59] <David> mention anything about stealing my fucking mouse?
[19:00] <moda> lol
[19:00] <FreeFrag> <MeowMix> I bloody hate David....he's a fucktard.....I'm going to steal his mouse, that'll teach him.
[19:00] <FreeFrag> Yeah.
[19:00] <David> are you serious?
[19:00] <moda> lol
[19:00] <FreeFrag> I thought she was a little harsh, but *shrug*
[19:00] <yaleman> lol
[19:00] <Grosby> rofl
[19:00] <David> okay.. are you kidding? :p
[19:00] <David> because i have a whole array of revenge material here
[19:00] <FreeFrag> No seriously, I just looked up my logs dude.
[19:01] <David> *looks at her laptop*
[19:01] <David> show me the log :p
[19:01] <Grosby> steal it!
[19:01] <Grosby> aww lookit da ugwee widdle face
[19:01] <Grosby> n da hand aww
[19:01] <moda> ...
[19:01] <FreeFrag> <MeowMix> If he comes in later, tell him that he's never getting this mouse again, and even if he does get it he wont want it *puts somewhere rudez0r*
[19:01] <Grosby> up her clacker
[19:02] <David> oh great
[19:02] <David> did she mention specifically where it is?
[19:02] <Grosby> up her clacker
[19:02] <FreeFrag> Let me look....
[19:02] <David> maybe she might find her shit out on the footpath when she gets back? :p
[19:02] <Grosby> am I being too crass?
[19:02] <FreeFrag> Lot of talking in between her lines
[19:02] <David> what time was this btw FreeFrag?
[19:03] <FreeFrag> <MeowMix> No seriously guys, I've had enough of him, the least I should do is steal his mouse...he'll never find it.
[19:03] <FreeFrag> David, no timestamps :(
[19:03] <David> yeah i could sell it to you ocau nerds
[19:03] <David> okay FreeFrag you've had your fun :p
[19:03] <David> i call bluff
[19:03] <FreeFrag> I call gullibility factor = *VERY HIGH*

Quote #1930 (+9) [ 2004-05-07, 01:09 ] [ + | - | X ]

<ernest> I wish stupidity was a fatal disease
<t_rex|z> :)
<ethanol> it is
<ethanol> have you read the darwin awards?
<Hibba> I hear you can catch stupidity from aids
<ethanol> you can catch aids from stupidity
<ernest> yeah, it is, but its lethality rate is somewhere around the 15% mark, and thats not good enough for me;)

Quote #916 (+11) [ 2003-08-16, 19:22 ] [ + | - | X ]

<@Crudmuffin> I find mysql to be very... 'simple'
<Frag|Shwr> What about Access?
<Frag|Shwr> in terms of databasage.
<Frag|Shwr> What is easy to learn?
<knowsfords> the alphabet?
* knowsfords was kicked by Z ((FreeFrag) I'm still learning, I'm up to K for Kick :))

Quote #487 (0) [ 2003-04-22, 19:21 ] [ + | - | X ]

* z3n|FOOD wonders how badly the SARS outbreak in HK atm...
<MonoAWAY> we're all doomed basically
<MonoAWAY> SARS will wipe us out
<MonoAWAY> Michael Jackson will be the only person left on earth along with his masked kids

Quote #1091 (+1) [ 2003-10-09, 00:36 ] [ + | - | X ]

<echelon> <rodgrech> lo yalemon <-- you jamacan now rodgrech?

Quote #176 (+12) [ 2002-12-18, 11:37 ] [ + | - | X ]

*** Narcolepsy is now known as YaleNarc
*** Yaleman is now known as NarcYale
<NarcYale> Goofy[LaG]: We are borg. Join with us...
<NarcYale> Put down your weapons, resistance is futile...
*** NarcYale is now known as NarYalGoof
<NarYalGoof> Join us Kitt3n, resistance is futile...
*** YaleNarc is now known as YaleNarKit
*** sniper1400 sets mode: +m
*** NarYalGoof is now known as NrYlGooSni
*** sniper1400 sets mode: -m
<NrYlGooSni> Join us, sniper1400...
<Quadbox> I wanna be assimilated too!
*** YalNarKit is now known as YlNrQuKit
<Quadbox> w00t!

Quote #4280 (+4) [ 2008-03-02, 11:04 ] [ + | - | X ]

* glasnt changes topic to 'refuge: Now with its own hardware franchise!'
<HyperHorse> hardware franchise u say?
<glasnt> Aye.
<HyperHorse> website? pricelist?
<Asteroid> #hardware?
<glasnt> you need to /msg hyperhorse he's the owner. biggest tool in OCAU.
<HyperHorse> no, that would be Mitch01
<HyperHorse> keep trying with the jokes, just dont quit ur day job yet.
<HyperHorse> seriously, is that the best u can do?
<HyperHorse> IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO?!?!??!?
<HyperHorse> is that ALL YOU GOT????
<Rage> Hypothesis: Proven.

Quote #792 (-4) [ 2003-07-16, 03:57 ] [ + | - | X ]

* biRo ate the best steak he's ever eaten last night
* biRo salivates
<Draffa> mmmmmm, dead cow :)
<biRo> yes it was a special cow
<biRo> Its name was porterhouse
<biRo> mound of chips
<biRo> diane sauce
<Draffa> most people name their cows daisy...
<biRo> steak was rare btw
<Draffa> sif rare
<Draffa> if I want my dead animal still beeeding i'll find some roadkill

Quote #2699 (+8) [ 2005-04-21, 00:05 ] [ + | - | X ]

<the_squid> this channel isnt as entertaining as ugbox makes it out to be

Quote #2883 (+1) [ 2005-07-16, 10:28 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Lombers> I have decided
<Lombers> I hate all PC places now
<Lombers> the problem is, they know nothing about customer service
<Lombers> because the people who started the good ones are pretty much geeks
<Lombers> and have no idea how to actually interact with people
<Lombers> sure they know their tech stuff
<Lombers> but that's about it
<Redback> what do they do when a girl wants to buy a new motherboard?
<Lombers> they premature ejaculate
<Redback> rofl
<pace> its not like i ordered a $15 modem
<Lombers> I know, and that's the problem
<Lombers> their problem is, they keep thinking to themselves that they will be able to get it in
<Lombers> instead of saying "look, I'll be conservative here, it'll take 2 weeks minimum"
<Lombers> then if they get it in earlier the customer would be like "omg that's the best service ever"

Quote #804 (+7) [ 2003-07-19, 16:14 ] [ + | - | X ]

<nEoLIthIc> oi ppl, my friend is in between me and another guy right
<nEoLIthIc> would i be able to see the other guy too?

Quote #1541 (+8) [ 2004-01-20, 20:11 ] [ + | - | X ]

<ozzmosis> From: "Lesbian L. Plenipotentiary" <imackinnon@cinemexicano.com>
<ozzmosis> plenipotentiary, n. A diplomat who is fully authorized to represent his or her government
<ozzmosis> spam has taught me something today
<ozzmosis> that's not meant to happen

Quote #563 (0) [ 2003-05-16, 19:53 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Carrots> if I was on big brother and I got eviected, I'd be like.. hug them all and like, "I blew my load in your shampoo...etc"
<RoSWeLL> rofl u sicko...
<RoSWeLL> worst thing is they play re-runs of the housemates washing themselves in Carrots seaman

Quote #1282 (+3) [ 2003-11-06, 03:33 ] [ + | - | X ]

<bounce`> what is the actuall cd command for , cause I am thinking that would be just for a cd or does that cover even the HD's?

Quote #1947 (+14) [ 2004-05-10, 02:24 ] [ + | - | X ]

<ethanol> hi Alyra
<ethanol> are you girl
<ethanol> add me on msn
<Alyra> I am.
<Alyra> Transvestite!
<Alyra> I AM SEX CHANGE GIRL!
<BaldDevil> oooooo
<Alyra> Really.
<BaldDevil> nice
<Alyra> I have a penis.
<Alyra> And 2 heads.
<ethanol> k
<Alyra> and 3 heads.
<BaldDevil> can i have your number
<ethanol> add me then
<Alyra> and 6 eyes
<Alyra> hahahahah
* Agg sets mode: +b *!*@CPE-138-217-51-186.vic.bigpond.net.au
* ethanol was kicked by Agg (OMGASLBBQ!)
* Agg sets mode: -b *!*@CPE-138-217-51-186.vic.bigpond.net.au
<Alyra> oh I feel so honoured agg.
<Alyra> Thats the first time someones banned someone for trying to pick me up!
<Agg> don't be, i was just using you for sex.
<Agg> oh.. that. right. yeaaah.

Quote #4344 (+9) [ 2008-07-10, 22:34 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Agg> everything I do is a work expense
<Agg> power, phone, hardware, vehicle, training, camera stuff, everything
<Agg> i registered beerdrinker.com.au in an attempt to be able to claim beer on tax but my accountant took a somewhat dim view of that, boo.

Quote #2786 (0) [ 2005-05-26, 03:25 ] [ + | - | X ]

* Mred32 is now known as Mred|sick
<Mred|sick> ohh my poor belly
<Mred|sick> ...and my poor toilet
<Mred|sick> I really feel like I want to fart, but I'm scared to
<Mred|sick> I'm gonna go to bed instead.
<Mred|sick> night
<outon|sick> Mred|sick its time like that i just go to bed, whatever happens, happens, if anyone asks you were asleep
<Mred|sick> I share a bed. Its not so simple
<outon|sick> yeah im gonna crawl into bed, i feel like shit
<Mred|sick> night
<outon|sick> Mred|sick, stick with your story, "i was asleep, i didnt know i sharted everwhere"
<One``> She will wake up with 80s themed clothes.

Quote #3145 (+4) [ 2005-12-17, 13:11 ] [ + | - | X ]

<macmate> i need you to twiddle your thumbs with me
<macmate> i can't do it alone

Quote #2770 (-3) [ 2005-05-20, 12:51 ] [ + | - | X ]

<CapnChron> hrm
<CapnChron> my movies are playing upsidedown and flipped over
<z00s> maybe it's the drugs.
<outonanis|> stop standing on your head CapnChron

Quote #2702 (+6) [ 2005-04-22, 05:37 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Jessica> I'm going to go have a shower.
<Skitzo> k
<Skitzo> pics?
<Jessica> k but 4 ur i's onli. ^_^ no money down!
<Jessica> www.sifnt.org/~jess/showercam.php
<Jessica> OOPS
<Carl> LOL
<Skitzo> 404'D!
<Carl> Why did I click that? :/

Quote #1202 (+1) [ 2003-10-23, 16:15 ] [ + | - | X ]

(rodgrech): Lurks: im on bigpond, i dont get email

Quote #1816 (+9) [ 2004-04-09, 23:48 ] [ + | - | X ]

<nwatts> do ya get thems camel spiders in australia?
<Tabris> nwatts: nope, but what we have are spiders and bugs a heck of a lot worse... Australia, land of things that will kill you
<nwatts> :'(
* @Daemon hides creepy crawly things in nwatts's room
<ace234> oh great i look at the picture and now i hear creeping noises:@
<Tabris> everytime i talk to somone from overseas i tell them under any given rock is at least 10 things that will kill you :P im doing my part keeping tourists away :)
<FreeFrag> rofl

Quote #1423 (+3) [ 2003-12-07, 13:44 ] [ + | - | X ]

[Junkz0r] why do the call the main control room of a shit the 'bridge' and why is the nav/steering console the 'helm' ??
[Malbert] i call the control room of a shit my asshole

Quote #1065 (+6) [ 2003-10-04, 06:21 ] [ + | - | X ]

<FreeFrag> Wanna go for a drink Rage? I know this place around the corner...
<Rage> come pick me up
<FreeFrag> You're like a little pixie you are! *smooch*
<FreeFrag> thankgoodness we have eachother Rage
<Rage> its god's way of punishing me
<Rage> FREEFRAG LET GO OF ME