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Quote #4099 (+3) [ 2007-04-29, 15:59 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Jessica> Yumm
<Jessica> I cook awesome food.
<Jessica> I am going to make an awesome wife!
<Torched> you can't cook wives
<Torched> silly girl

Quote #984 (+8) [ 2003-09-02, 00:23 ] [ + | - | X ]

(thetron): [00:30] <Darkness> muzzi: I had an irc script about 3 years ago that did that. Was brilliant for kicks or insults.. really confussed the fuck outa people :) <<<--- You lost your touch!
(Darkness): tron : I know. You have the ability to confuse the fuck outa people without using a script! :)
(Erve): hahaha

Quote #442 (+2) [ 2003-04-02, 17:43 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Agg> ausgamers file system sucks, how can I search??
<Agg> oh.. "File Search" :)

Quote #1337 (+8) [ 2003-11-15, 22:09 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Reaver> bundy: "I'd rather drink another man's semen"

Quote #1891 (+6) [ 2004-04-29, 19:55 ] [ + | - | X ]

<@Nozz> Stix is the only one I'd consider to be a genuine beanpole
<Tallyrand> wish i was a bean pole not a brick shithouse
<Saga> what? red and with mortar in your cracks Tallyrand?

Quote #1708 (+9) [ 2004-03-01, 19:03 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Strange1> Still have to work out what im gunan do for net access when i get there though :/
<brembo`> 2 cans and some string
<Strange1> Ive been trying that, I think I have the wrong cans though :(
<Strange1> The second can wont fit in my USB port, what is wrong?
<Fod> you didn't hammer the first one in hard enough
<Strange1> The first one is fine, its the second one that is still leaking beans
<Fod> packetloss

Quote #1525 (+9) [ 2004-01-15, 20:20 ] [ + | - | X ]

(Grosby) I can't eat KFC, looks too much like a wrinkled up testicle

Quote #4108 (+15) [ 2007-05-05, 22:26 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Remote> ffs quit talking about sex my highlights are going ballistic!

Quote #985 (+7) [ 2003-09-02, 00:24 ] [ + | - | X ]

(jayci): ggrrr men!@
(MadHatter): i was going to make a comment then
(jayci): MadHatter dont u dare :D
(MadHatter): but i used my better judgement.
(Erve): grrr @ insubordinate other sex
(jayci): bugger, bugger bugger
(Agg): come on, it's not like we penis everything into a penis about our penis.

Quote #609 (+10) [ 2003-05-31, 13:31 ] [ + | - | X ]

(+CapnChron): I'm so stupid.
(+CapnChron): The phone rang.. I picked it up and put it to my ear...
(+CapnChron): Know what I just realised?
(+CapnChron): I forgot I was deaf

Quote #2663 (+3) [ 2005-04-02, 22:27 ] [ + | - | X ]

<yale> thetron: when you learn to spell, you can pick on people :)
<thetron> I can sell
<ace[work]> bwuhaha
<Lurks> omgooglies
<ace[work]> now thetron shutup before you make an even bigger arse of yourself :)
<yale> well, that proves my point entirely.
<yale> if you want, I can help you jam the other foot in your mouth :)

Quote #1606 (+6) [ 2004-02-08, 15:21 ] [ + | - | X ]

<j> At Microsoft, we need the best programmers. Only virgins need apply. We attribute the numerous security flaws in Windows to programmers who have gotten laid. Our studies show that one blow job is responsible for an average of seventeen buffer overflows. Be pure and join our team.
<c> I make it a rule not to have sex while programming

Quote #1380 (+12) [ 2003-11-26, 18:33 ] [ + | - | X ]

(@Agg) this spam reckons i can have "an erection that lasts all weekend" .. am i the only one who sees some serious problems with that?
(Squigy) awsome
(Reaver) no, weekend long erections own
(gords) i can imagine it'd be a bit of a problem. better not reply to that one, Agg
(@Agg) you do a handstand when you want to take a piss?
(Largo) or poke an eye out
(zebu) yeah its all good till you need to go to the store and buy some milk
(jimiw) Quadbox: it's not that bad, i saw it about a month ago
(Squigy) lol
(Squigy) it comes in handy as a towel rack

Quote #349 (+6) [ 2003-02-22, 12:09 ] [ + | - | X ]

<FreeFrag> you think your safe. You say something silly, and then an op steps out of the Darkness (lol a pub ;)) and inserts you in the topic.
<FreeFrag> gah a pub rather
<FreeFrag> PUN FFS
<Yaleman> lol FreeFrag
* Darkness submits to smokeyou.
<sabretooth> FreeFrag: dork!
<FreeFrag> *sigh* *sob*

Quote #2555 (+7) [ 2005-02-01, 19:51 ] [ + | - | X ]

<llamaboy> msn sux, theres no emoticon for :\

Quote #485 (+2) [ 2003-04-21, 22:55 ] [ + | - | X ]

<jase> I have a red head weakness
<Carrots> the chubby girl with the fake red hair ?
<jase> thats the one
<Carrots> ew
<Carrots> rather fap
<Carrots> on her face
<jase> oi
<Carrots> LOL
<jase> she went off
<Carrots> passed expiry date ?

Quote #2545 (+3) [ 2005-01-28, 18:03 ] [ + | - | X ]

<aftahours> Hadamona: Cos most of our customers are budget tightarses
<Hadamona> lol
<outonanisl> how tight?
<ace234> that got outonanisl interested
<aftahours> as tight as a nuns....
<outonanisl> see you next tuesday aftahours?
<aftahours> see you in a fire?

Quote #4155 (+1) [ 2007-06-08, 21:36 ] [ + | - | X ]

* @VooDoo notices TheWedgie looks kinda lonely
* @VooDoo asks if TheWedgie wants to a have a good time
* @VooDoo reaches in his wallet and tosses TheWedgie a @
* VooDoo sets mode: +o TheWedgie
<@TheWedgie> o_O
<Mibba> lol
<enigma> so an @ is op-speak for a condom?
* enigma hides
<Gamma> lol
* @TheWedgie flicks a used @ at enigma
<enigma> ewww
<Mibba> lol
<enigma> Flush your junk please wedgie
* Gamma watches it slide down the wall, with lots of +'s dribbling out of it

Quote #579 (+6) [ 2003-05-20, 03:52 ] [ + | - | X ]

<arkenstone> cSmith: you've got a kid?
<cSmith> yer
<arkenstone> cSmith: i picked you as an early20s kinda guy
<cSmith> < 23, 24 next month..
<arkenstone> What happened, if you don't mind me asking?
<cSmith> arkenstone, we had sex

Quote #2500 (+10) [ 2005-01-15, 22:02 ] [ + | - | X ]

MadHatter: she really is yuk.
MadHatter: well, i surpose she is ok in the looks, but the way she acts, talks and dresses...... belongs in the street doing tricks for spare change
Jessica: lol
Jessica: Tricks like what?
Jessica: Disappearing clothes tricks and stuff?
Fragwizard i like those tricks

Quote #2484 (+41) [ 2005-01-10, 01:44 ] [ + | - | X ]

<MadHatter> my first pc was an apple
<Agg> that's like saying your first car was a bicycle

Quote #875 (+2) [ 2003-08-10, 23:25 ] [ + | - | X ]

<@Agg> heh, whoops
* @Agg unbreaks the forums

Quote #1464 (+1) [ 2003-12-29, 17:55 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Sim0n> oh dear god, if i ever lost my cable connection, i think id rather hang upself with the 56k modem cable than hook it up to the socket

Quote #1612 (+6) [ 2004-02-09, 00:29 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Hunter> sif the red cross needs more donations, all they need do is ask fucking kerry packer to extract some blood from a stone

Quote #3314 (+9) [ 2006-04-04, 22:54 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Kingy> biatch - but there are plenty of things girls can't do.
<biatch> For sure.
<biatch> Like squish my spiders, Kingy
<Jessica> I don't squish spiders
<Jessica> I grab a chinese food container and take them outside :)
<biatch> I have serious deep-seated issues with spiders, Jessica
<Jessica> I like 'em.
<Jessica> Except redbacks they can just die
<biatch> I'd like to be able to take them outside, but the instant I see one I involuntarily go into serious panic mode
<biatch> I'd LIKE to be able to stay calm and think rationally
<biatch> But serious panic!
<Agg> biatch - the trick is to not think about them on you. don't focus on the feeling of the hairs on their thick legs brushing against your skin, the tiny gripping parts on the ends of their legs latching onto your flesh, their many reflective eyes watching your every move above broad, twitching, glistening fangs.
<Agg> then you'll be fine.
<TheWedgie> lmao Agg, you bastard
<saboteur> hahaha agg
<biatch> Thanks for that, Agg. :) I'll sleep well tonight!

Quote #2837 (+7) [ 2005-06-22, 00:00 ] [ + | - | X ]

[@Ashley]: Oh, and I've got a three-tier sequential data recovery system.
[@Ashley]: Meaning I've got two computers and and a removable backup disk. I love the technoloyg names.
[@Warhamster]: or, a fish on a wire
[@Ashley]: Really?
* Warhamster uses his fish backup
[@Ashley]: How does that work?
[@Warhamster]: when the fish starts to smell, new backup

Quote #1100 (+7) [ 2003-10-10, 03:55 ] [ + | - | X ]

(bh`): go go action internet
(FreeFrag): You're with bigpond. You've connected to IRC. THat's an achievement.

Quote #3417 (+8) [ 2006-06-24, 18:00 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Rage> gay dude tried to give me head while i was on the verge of unconciousness
<Rage> fighting to keep your pants on is a strange thing :S
<brembo`> yeah, it's part of the game
<brembo`> but damn it's confusing

Quote #742 (+1) [ 2003-07-07, 19:58 ] [ + | - | X ]

<bh> roflmango
<PhuckNut> roflmango?
<PhuckNut> roll on the floor laughing my antsized nonexistant gonads off?

Quote #1724 (+2) [ 2004-03-05, 14:10 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Fod> well, what's more important, your education or your computer?
<Fod> (if you say education, i'll have option but to kick you)
<Fod> *no option
<Fod> jeez my english is shit today, i guess that's what you get for putting your computer ahead of your education :)

Quote #210 (+2) [ 2002-12-27, 11:24 ] [ + | - | X ]

<DeathStar> i have to flick my balls so i blow
<DeathStar> fuck wrong channeel
* DeathStar was kicked by VooDoo (WAY too much info)

Quote #3910 (+3) [ 2006-12-23, 20:42 ] [ + | - | X ]

* @VooDoo- keeps looking for someone trustworthy in Sydney
<@sabretooth> VooDoo-: benz
<Shaun> hahahahahahaha

Quote #2651 (+6) [ 2005-03-26, 17:50 ] [ + | - | X ]

* Junkz changes topic to 'PROCRASTINATE NOW!'
<VooDoo> meh... cbf

Quote #1823 (+10) [ 2004-04-12, 19:10 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Rage> you disturb me Fod.
<Fod> sometimes i disturb myself
<Fod> and all too often it ends up on ugquotes

Quote #3420 (+6) [ 2006-06-28, 15:21 ] [ + | - | X ]

<apollo``_> what is a good cloning application?
<Agg> creating an army to take over the world.
<Agg> that's how I'd apply cloning.

Quote #2956 (+12) [ 2005-08-29, 08:28 ] [ + | - | X ]

ace234: wtf is sodomy?
VooDo: ask ya dad
beta|sick: google is your friend
Sephyre: use google images for that one ace
beta|sick: ^^ you know you want to
IKT[A]: sodomy...self mutalation?
IKT[A]: oh wait
IKT[A]: oh god
IKT[A]: :(
IKT[A]: last time I use google images
beta|sick: rofl you actually used google images

Quote #1342 (+3) [ 2003-11-16, 14:46 ] [ + | - | X ]

<FreeFrag> Dear God, in the next version of mIRC could you please make it so I can tab complete long and complicated words like "vanilla" and "everyone"?

Quote #358 (+2) [ 2003-02-25, 16:30 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Epic`> im combing my hair with a heatsink
<Epic`> it actually works good

Quote #608 (+10) [ 2003-05-31, 12:01 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Mred32> Good thing the wife is out atm then.
<Mred32> ...cause I'm gonna take my daughter to kindy gym and check out all the mums.

Quote #2529 (+6) [ 2005-01-23, 16:16 ] [ + | - | X ]

<David> *poof*
<Skitzo> Whoah
<Skitzo> David finally came out of the closet.
<David> yeah I was just getting a shirt
<Fragwizard> LOL
* Fragwizard falls over.

Quote #2449 (+8) [ 2004-12-25, 10:46 ] [ + | - | X ]

[@Narcolepsy] It's not about how many cocks you suck, it's all in the technique.

Quote #3320 (+7) [ 2006-04-10, 18:26 ] [ + | - | X ]

<n00dle> bahahah
<n00dle> go australia post.
<n00dle> A large letter is an article with the following characteristics:
<n00dle> * Is not a Small Letter
<n00dle> * It is rectangular in shape

Quote #2173 (+9) [ 2004-07-21, 20:26 ] [ + | - | X ]

<FreeFrag> http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=sciby&r=s&pos=3 <--bottom definition, bwahahahaa, I'll take one guess who submitted that
<FreeFrag> A) Asrehole <--That gives it away :D :D
<Sciby> Yup, safe to say it's TheTron. You can smell the stupidity.
<Sciby> Even if there was no quote, the spelling of 'asrehole' still gives it away.
<FreeFrag> Sciby, come on, join in you fun nazi!! You can smell the stuiptedity :)
<FreeFrag> So anyway, Sciby, been doing much trolling while whom adminning lately?
<Sciby> FF: No, but I"m a snobbish asrehole.

Quote #571 (+5) [ 2003-05-17, 20:43 ] [ + | - | X ]

<z3n|A> w0t! daredevil-DivX.avi turns out to be pr0n!!!
<deepspring> hehehe
<z3n|A> if i keep getting fake files like this im gona loose my dick and turn into a hairy monster soon
<Bam> lol z3n|A
<Bam> good porno?

Quote #2391 (+10) [ 2004-11-19, 12:13 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Narcolepsy> I could go a random hug right now ;)
* josh|nexus gives Narc a hug
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<josh|nexus> heheh..... well i guess its just you and me compadre
<Narcolepsy> :S

Quote #1820 (+1) [ 2004-04-11, 07:32 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Grosby> is it egg day today?
<Draffa> ?
<Draffa> ah, yes
<Grosby> aah shit
<Grosby> I thought it was yesterday :/
<Grosby> ask kids at work what the easter bunny bought them
<Grosby> no wonder why I got odd looks

Quote #1369 (+1) [ 2003-11-22, 20:05 ] [ + | - | X ]

(rodgrech) man im scared.... i gotta walk into a Apple store (nextbyte) next few days
(Snufkin`) wear protection
(Snufkin`) otherwise you might catch gay
(FreeFrag) Thier prices are an ass rape
(rodgrech) ill have my windblows xp cd with me for protection
(rodgrech) 179.00 for a 65 watt laptop charger
(Largo) haha instead of using a cross on posessed people, throw windows XP at them and watch them burn
(rodgrech) burnt windows xp cds cut up and made into ninja stars
(Snufkin`) haha
(rodgrech) or my ibook of doom with windows xp loaded on it :D
(Largo) i wanted to get an ipod, i gotta walk in there with a radiation suit
(FreeFrag) Lets not forget a full retail copy of MacOSX is $229 :o
(Tensop) Largo: shut your....
(Largo) they'd probaly consider that laptop weapon of mass destruction :p

Quote #2973 (+12) [ 2005-09-09, 16:19 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Tatey> mmmm melted cheese and tomato
<Ashley> Ooh. How do you melt tomato?

Quote #747 (+9) [ 2003-07-08, 00:04 ] [ + | - | X ]

<@NOFATCHIX> this nick is the best
<@NOFATCHIX> not 1 chic msgs me

Quote #2739 (+2) [ 2005-05-09, 19:08 ] [ + | - | X ]

<angelessme> the volume of asian schoolgirls there between 3-5 makes it look like japan
<tensopaway> yeah but none of them are hot
<psy^> i'm glad you said that tensopaway
<psy^> schoolgirls between 3-5 rarely are