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Quote #1778 (+1) [ 2004-03-27, 00:45 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Fod> http://www.hcs.harvard.edu/~golder/dialect/staticmaps/q_43.gif <- the non-red dots represent people who believe Texas is spelt Texaz. Note many of them are WITHIN THE STATE.
<Nozz> is that middle-bottom state texas?
<Fod> the big one, yes
<Nozz> That's a worry
<Nozz> oh well
<Nozz> I don't anyone had any doubt that americans were stupid
<Nozz> doubt
<Nozz> Evidendently I've from Texaz too.
<Fod> :)
<Nozz> I'm, fuckit
<Fod> haha, and i was assuming it was deliberate
* Fod makes note to never make that mistake again

Quote #2082 (+11) [ 2004-06-26, 17:04 ] [ + | - | X ]

<eDust> this morning i went downstairs to tell the building manager my airconditioner's not working and he had some cute girl there with him (works for the same company) and she was saying the whole building's the same, they're all not working, and i think she was there to keep people happy
<eDust> you can't get angry with a good looking girl like that
<@gords> haha
<@D_Web> hahaha
<WedgieDC> lol
<eDust> and she said it's getting fixed monday, and i'm thinking, what? how can i survive without airconditioning, but she's smiling heaps... so i just walked away smiling

Quote #2669 (+10) [ 2005-04-05, 19:29 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Jedi_Vader20> bit of amusement from class today: Our teacher was discussing our group assignments. "Now for your groups, three is a good number, two is too few, four is too much." (someone mutters from across the room) "three shall be the number of counting, and the number of counting shall be three." (giggling) "five is right out!" (class cracks up)

Quote #94 (+5) [ 2002-11-19, 04:37 ] [ + | - | X ]

<|^TJ^|> i keep doing that hahahah im such a wanker

Quote #3545 (-2) [ 2006-09-09, 23:15 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Agg> bern's only going karting coz he thought he was signing up to "ride tarts"
<Jessica> Ride.. tarts?
<Jessica> But i'm not going karting..

Quote #4126 (-1) [ 2007-05-24, 10:16 ] [ + | - | X ]

<freaek> so this morning I went and picked up my van. Had to get a new alternator put in, which cost me the princely sum of $661. I asked the bloke if the fucken thing came with a steak dinner and a happy ending
<freaek> he didn't seem impressed

Quote #1556 (0) [ 2004-01-26, 03:50 ] [ + | - | X ]

<BOB_LOE> i find the best way to pick a chick up is to walk up to them and say "national lottery winner", so i picked this chick up, took her back to my place, woke up the next morning and she go's "So what are you gonna buy me with the winings?" i said, "i was only a fucking dollar on the scratch cards!"

Quote #1647 (+8) [ 2004-02-16, 16:40 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Junkz> girl the other day offered an abo a blowjob
<Junkz> the abo swore at her and said "i dont want no fucken job bitch!"

Quote #1437 (+7) [ 2003-12-12, 16:39 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Interloper> Type 'hardcore sex' into google and hit 'I'm Feeling Lucky'
<vecki> Is that like the 'weapons of mass destruction one'?
<Interloper> Yes

Quote #440 (+3) [ 2003-04-02, 14:37 ] [ + | - | X ]

* Nozz votes sex
<Nozz> sex tends to cure all my problems
<shift> sex tends to cause all my problems.

Quote #378 (-3) [ 2003-03-05, 23:11 ] [ + | - | X ]

<D_Web> I was at my brothers place last night and sat down to eat dinner, I go to move a bag with his lab coat in it and he says "Don't touch the coat, I use that to cut up dead people"

Quote #3402 (+17) [ 2006-06-11, 23:45 ] [ + | - | X ]

<thetron> Honda is to "isn't it nice of things that just work" , As to Jensen button "My cars on fire"
<TheWedgie> thetron, you are to english what Ivan Milat was to backpacking.

Quote #2261 (+2) [ 2004-08-23, 01:21 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Slyde> my roomate has been having sex.
<Slyde> That's about as close to getting any as I have been in like 4 years.

Quote #983 (0) [ 2003-09-01, 21:33 ] [ + | - | X ]

<redbAck> quick, everyone join #,0
*** Reaver has left #overclockers
*** RedFox has left #overclockers
*** Reaver has joined #overclockers
*** rodgrech has left #overclockers
<Reaver> hey, when i joined it quit me!!
<Reaver> :(
<gords> lol
<redbAck> lol
*** Refle}{ has left #overclockers
<redbAck> the count stands at 4
<Reaver> why?
<Reaver> tell me your secrets!!
*** Refle}{ has joined #overclockers
<redbAck> type /server secrets
<redbAck> and all will be revealed
*** rodgrech has joined #overclockers
<yaleman> spot the retards
*** Reaver Quit (Quit)
<yaleman> rofl
<yaleman> proof
*** Reaver[A] has joined #overclockers
<Refle}{> hahaha
<Reaver[A]> fucken hell!!

Quote #2856 (0) [ 2005-06-29, 18:13 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Thomo[W]> yeah Lombers
<Norgs-> look guys, I got him to speak,.
<pace282> i thought Thomo[W] was a bot
<Thomo[W]> and I thought you were funny ;)

Quote #4293 (-4) [ 2008-04-03, 08:43 ] [ + | - | X ]

<enigma> aah yes
<enigma> that's the guy i thought fuzz was
<BFM> Who's the babe on the left?
<glasnt> BFM: ... there are 3 men in that picture
<BFM> WHAT

Quote #6 (+6) [ 2002-10-21, 06:26 ] [ + | - | X ]

<\Roscoe> Dwarfs can have huge wangs... I've got DivX's to prove it :)
<milenko> \Roscoe: you sicko
<Narcolepsy> DCC!!!
<PooJou> \Roscoe: 'Blimey, you're a tripod'
<Draebor> \Roscoe - no divxs of your family
<\Roscoe> msg milenko Yeah no probs... send me your address I'll burn em for you.

Quote #2271 (+1) [ 2004-09-02, 21:18 ] [ + | - | X ]

<SUPAMODEL> futon is french for "fuck me, this thing is uncomfortable"

Quote #1267 (+1) [ 2003-11-02, 22:54 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Rik> ROFl, one of my mates fucked a chick with no arms
<WhiteyFord> what really Rik?
<WhiteyFord> thats odd
<WhiteyFord> no hand jobs :(
<Rik> yeh, he's in the Navy, he's done alot of fucked shit
<FreeFrag> :o
<Rik> he was telling me, he did her doggy style on the beach and was going hard, and when he finished, he had almost buried her head since she couldnt keep it above sand
<WhiteyFord> did she have arms before they started fucking?
<WhiteyFord> ROFL
<Falkor> lol she has no arms, and heres mike worrying about not getting a hand job :)
<FreeFrag> ROFL!
<WhiteyFord> ahahahahahahahahhahaa
<Falkor> hahaha
<knowsfords> heh.
<WhiteyFord> thats the most horrible funny thing i have ever heard

Quote #3911 (-2) [ 2006-12-23, 20:48 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Agg> being woken up by sex is no bad thing :)
<brodster> Unless it's with a cabbie

Quote #3439 (+1) [ 2006-07-09, 00:53 ] [ + | - | X ]

<zuus> you can tell the difference between samples made on a mac and a pc?
<zuus> dude, i have the wrong earphones
<Enfilade> Yeah, mac samples are funkier with more contemporary styling

Quote #78 (+16) [ 2002-11-17, 03:55 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Jester> you know eating toast upside down accually makes it taste kinda different
<knowsfords> Jester: I have noticed that too.
<knowsfords> now we can get a government research grant to find out why

Quote #3375 (-2) [ 2006-05-20, 17:22 ] [ + | - | X ]

<+Darkhart> btw chris, whats your opinion on the xmen movies? being an x-men guru and all
<@Rara_Avis> im not a guru, gurus are people who jack off over anna paquin
<@Rara_Avis> wait...
<@Rara_Avis> ok i am a guru

Quote #2123 (+1) [ 2004-07-09, 08:45 ] [ + | - | X ]

<tensopaway> whats a penis!??! :(
<Fragwizard> alas, what CapnChron says is true
<Fragwizard> lol
<tensopaway> im no virgin :| but i regret my first root
<Fragwizard> poor tensop
<tensopaway> probably the same quality as the moles that CapnChron fuck
<Fragwizard> lol
<Fragwizard> what his sister?
<CapnChron> hahahaha
<CapnChron> SIF
<CapnChron> Nah
<CapnChron> he probably shagged his own sister
<tensopaway> lol 4 lines... CapnChron is in denial

Quote #4313 (+10) [ 2008-05-07, 20:15 ] [ + | - | X ]

[20:10] <tensop-_> argh, every bone in my body aching
[20:11] <fade> y?
[20:11] <One``> i can put another aching bone in your body if you like.
[20:11] <One``> oh wait,that sounds gay.
[20:11] <One``> probably because it is..
[20:11] <InTheFade> rather gay, yes

Quote #2000 (-2) [ 2004-05-25, 23:54 ] [ + | - | X ]

<klif-e> jesus christ who names a portable email device a BLACKBERRY ffs!
<klif-e> http://www.blackberry.com/
<klif-e> ffs
<X_phile> klif-e> guess he was in a jam for a name :P

Quote #937 (+3) [ 2003-08-20, 17:21 ] [ + | - | X ]

<rodgrech> SHIT FIRECALL BRB
<Zoidburg> firecall?
<Nza> voluntary fire service?
<Erve> either that or too much chilli
<Draemad> lol
<nEoLIthIc> lol

Quote #2468 (+13) [ 2005-01-04, 21:40 ] [ + | - | X ]

<aftahours> Main actors on CSI get paid $US120,000 an episode.
<Agg> they're worth every penny. think of all the criminals they're putting behind bars.

Quote #2601 (+6) [ 2005-02-22, 04:50 ] [ + | - | X ]

<MadHatter_> A master corporal from Ontario, the lead sniper of his three-man team, said when they first landed in the combat zone "our spider senses were tingling.... It was night and we didn't know what to expect."
<MadHatter_> ahahahahaha
<MadHatter_> sniperman... sniperman... does what ever a sniper can
<Aedan_18br> haha
<Draffa> lol
<MadHatter_> shoots a terrorist, any size, kills alqaeda, just like flies... lookout!
<MadHatter_> here comes the sniperman?

Quote #739 (+2) [ 2003-07-07, 02:43 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Decker> I feel sorry for Cav
<Decker> that guy gets a mouthful on irc
<Fodder> Decker: he seems to manage, spends more time beating off neolithic than getting harrassed
<Fodder> as in .. beating neolithic with a large trout
<Fodder> damn double meanings

Quote #88 (+5) [ 2002-11-18, 11:31 ] [ + | - | X ]

* Chaos|Work inserts some torts into his ass.

Quote #3202 (+10) [ 2006-01-16, 12:58 ] [ + | - | X ]

<SolidRed> i shot lazers from my eyes during sex
<SolidRed> its an annoying power

Quote #4140 (-1) [ 2007-06-03, 20:13 ] [ + | - | X ]

<wayne> xchat makes my PC speaker beep when you say stuff
<Agg> hi wayne!
<Agg> hi wayne!
<Agg> hi wayne!
<Agg> hi wayne!
<Stygian> spamdie
<Shaun> Oh look we broke Agg.
<Splosh123> Someone reset agg.
<Stygian> wayne: /beep1000
<wayne> if any of you say my name my pc speaker beeps even when muted
<Splosh123> wayne
<brodsta> Is that so wayne
<Stygian> /beep 1000, rather
<enigma> What about if we PM you wayne?
<Shaun> Telling us was dumb, wasn't it wayne?
<Splosh123> STBU, wayne
<SomeGuy123> beep
<Splosh123> wayne your a pain!
<Mibba> ohhhh wayne
<Mibba> anyone remember that show
<enigma> Wayne is busy: Removing PC speaker
<wayne> i am frantically searching the Ubuntu forums on how to turn it off

Quote #4187 (-2) [ 2007-07-18, 21:25 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Meowrr|out> hmm curls or straight
<V8R> shaved
<V8R> curls get caught in your teeth
<Meowrr|out> not there silly
<V8R> ;)

Quote #882 (-3) [ 2003-08-11, 19:40 ] [ + | - | X ]

[Chamelion] I know Daemon, just fucking you.
[Chamelion] fucking WITH you... errrr shit.
[Daemon] I wondered what that pin prick was
Matthew submits
[Refle}{] hows his arse?
[Refle}{] tasty ?
[V8R[2400]] lol
[Chamelion] Reflex, Im not eating his arse man.. geez.
[Daemon] thought I sat on a needle :P

Quote #1201 (+6) [ 2003-10-22, 23:33 ] [ + | - | X ]

<RTG> ah i saw Prince last night
<Fod> uh oh
<Fod> did you slap him with your cock?
<RTG> not close enough
<Fod> he was more than 3" away?

Quote #1360 (0) [ 2003-11-19, 23:03 ] [ + | - | X ]

[BOB_LOE] I picked this chick up the other nite... Then i wake up the next morning, and she's rubbing her hand up and down my dick trying to wank me off... so i say 'you do that very well!' she said 'i should do, i used to have one'

Quote #4290 (-3) [ 2008-03-30, 21:26 ] [ + | - | X ]

<csimpson> Sex on the Beach can refer to the following:
<Shaun2> Yeah it's great. Or I can grab the nightlink 330 for like a buck.
<csimpson> * Sex on the beach (cocktail), a cocktail made of vodka, peach schnapps, cranberry juice, and orange juice
<csimpson> * Sex on the Beach, a song by the Dutch act T-Spoon
<csimpson> * A famous scene from From Here to Eternity
<csimpson> * Sexual intercourse performed on a beach.
<csimpson> Fuck I love wikipedia.

Quote #4150 (+2) [ 2007-06-07, 06:22 ] [ + | - | X ]

<afta|z> mm
<afta|z> fuck glad stocktake is over
<Recharge> and how much stok did you take??
<Recharge> stock
<Draffa> Back the ute up to the dick.
<WedgieWork> o_O
<knowsfords> O_o
<afta|z> lol

Quote #1334 (+8) [ 2003-11-14, 22:13 ] [ + | - | X ]

<zombie> linux/unix is userfriendly
<zombie> it's just selective about who it's friends are

Quote #1949 (+4) [ 2004-05-11, 13:21 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Lombers> is there any way to find out who has registered a particular domain name?
<Mred32> whois whois
<Mred32> whoisnt whoisnt
<Mred32> Why Why is is there there 2 2 of of each each word? word?
<Mred32> wtf wtf
<Lombers> hehe
<Lombers> Mred32: turn off echo :)
<Agg> ttuurrnn ooffff yyoouurr ffuullll dduupplleexx
<Mred32> this this is is shitting shitting me me.
<Mred32> its its only only this this window window
* Mred32 has left #ocau
<Agg> lol @ mred
* Mred32 has joined #ocau
* Z sets mode: +o Mred32
<Agg> i thought he was just being silly
<Mred32> hmm
<Lombers> lol
<Mred32> ha, fixed

Quote #7 (-1) [ 2002-10-21, 06:31 ] [ + | - | X ]

* Darkness would offer you a seat next to me, but the hoards of hungry horny women will be here soon.
<Frag|Shwr> Darkness, sorry, my Mum is busy tonight. Oh, and sniper1G's mum just rang, she's busy too. Sorry...
*** Frag|Shwr is now known as FreeFrag
<eDust> looks like i walked in at a bad time
<FreeFrag> eDust, is this your first time in here?
<Darkness> FreeFrag: Dang, that only leaves your entire family. I how will i cope. :)

Quote #3260 (+4) [ 2006-02-16, 22:13 ] [ + | - | X ]

<zzzuus> McJaaaames.
<yaleman> mczuus with cheese :D
<outy> what does that make me?
<zzzuus> mmmm yummy
<zzzuus> McNuggouty's.
<yaleman> a quarter pounder with issues

Quote #2583 (+3) [ 2005-02-13, 23:44 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Warhamster> hmm... instead of going to my schools swimming carnival and watching all the hot girls in my grade wandering around in bikinis, i'm going to stay home, play counterstike and IRC... now what is so wrong with that!?!
<FatMan> Warhamster: words cannot describe the problems you have with your existance.

Quote #1411 (+4) [ 2003-12-03, 22:15 ] [ + | - | X ]

* Agg wrestles with his digicam, trying to get it to take photos of a shiny, self-illuminating object in a dark room
<fen> agg, please stop taking photos of your willy in a luminous condom :P
<TheWedgie> LOL Agg. glow in the dark vibrator?
<FreeFrag> Agg, we dont want photos of your 4 seasons glow in the dark condom

Quote #1089 (+1) [ 2003-10-08, 04:11 ] [ + | - | X ]

[Quit] [x] badsektor [] [Quit: put the lube in the microwave, i'm on my way over now]
[ neolithic] rofl at badsektor's quit msg
[GooSE] ROFL... Yeah my brother is a bit fo a fanatic. He wants to be pro but he aint gonna be good enough i reckon (geez what a supportive brother I am)
[ neolithic] badsektor's your brother? ;)
[ neolithic] +r
[Hybrid] neolithic hes on his way ere but im not sure if i want him here after that msg :P

Quote #2170 (+7) [ 2004-07-21, 01:11 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Agg> thanks for sharing
<FatMan> it makes you randy, agg.
<Agg> no, abusing power makes me randy, so keep on being a smartarse.. :)

Quote #40 (0) [ 2002-10-28, 07:13 ] [ + | - | X ]

*** sabretooth changed topic to 'http://www.overclockers.com.au/weekend/ (rego and payments close this week!) - HAPPY BDAY KYOCERA! | <Cav> WhiteyFord: i am the arse of this rooms homosexual'
<WhiteyFord> dont want to be associated with Cav all my life
*** Darkness changed topic to 'http://www.overclockers.com.au/weekend/ (rego and payments close this week!) - HAPPY BDAY KYOCERA! | <Cav> i am the arse of this rooms homosexual jokes :('
<Darkness> *nod*
<WhiteyFord> woo!

Quote #4223 (+6) [ 2007-10-09, 19:21 ] [ + | - | X ]

<@Wayne> what is the proper term used to describe people who live in Brisbane?
<@Wayne> Brisbanites?
<knowsfords> brisbanites
<outy> brisvegans ?
<glasnt> Bris-vagians :P
<predder> "people who hail from brisbane"
<glasnt> Brisbanites
<predder> what about sydney then?
<knowsfords> "wankers"

Quote #3381 (+5) [ 2006-05-26, 16:42 ] [ + | - | X ]

< Enfilade> heh, i just did a poo that had an apple sticker on it
< Enfilade> I must've eaten it by accident