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Quote #1417 (+14) [ 2003-12-05, 00:21 ] [ + | - | X ]

<freeed> Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

Quote #2621 (+1) [ 2005-03-10, 16:39 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Borg> anyone remember a poll showing the age demographic of OCAU ?
<Agg> "how old are you?" in the pub
<Agg> iirc
<Borg> The following words are either very common, too long, or too short and were not included in your search : how, old, are, you
<sabretooth> haha
<Agg> rofl

Quote #523 (+4) [ 2003-05-04, 21:15 ] [ + | - | X ]

<VooDoo> boobies on CH9
<sabretooth> thanks voods :P
<Daemon> hrm, that reminds me... I should change the oil in my g/box
<VooDoo> boobies reminds you of gearbox oil? you must take ages to "clean up" afterwards

Quote #395 (+1) [ 2003-03-11, 23:24 ] [ + | - | X ]

<port80> anyone tried ming?
<Ycros> yeah she was good

Quote #4224 (-6) [ 2007-10-10, 18:52 ] [ + | - | X ]

<outy> brodsta today tonight said it was different type of cows
<outy> they even showed a graph and a map!
<outy> a fucking map dude
<outy> A MAP!
<brodsta> Holy shit
<brodsta> I can't compete with that
<outy> how can you not trust someone who has a map

Quote #2114 (+19) [ 2004-07-06, 20:39 ] [ + | - | X ]

<WMinstrel> God, my sister has her friends over.
<WMinstrel> Jesus, they're so fucking noisy.
<Bundy> gun?
<WMinstrel> Ran outta ammo.
<blur> duct tape.
<WMinstrel> And duct tape.
<predder> condoms..
<WMinstrel> ...
<blur> ..

Quote #1250 (+3) [ 2003-10-30, 16:19 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Dopefish> Has anyone had any problems with *Store name omitted to protect the innocent* before?
* VooDoo REFUSES TO COMMENT
<Dopefish> lol
<Quadbox> lol VooDoo
<Flecktone> ...
<Flecktone> :P
<echelon> Dopefish: Take that as a resounding yes

Quote #4006 (+6) [ 2007-01-10, 13:12 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Turophile> All OCAU girls are from QLD or VIC.
<Talleh> You mean all the sluts?
<predder> where's Jessleep
<predder> WAKE UP!
<Jessleep> Here
<Stygian> lol
<Jessleep> what
<Turophile> LOL
<Jessleep> Oh.
<SgtMjrTank> lol
<predder> she called you a slut dammit fight or something
<Jessleep> All the sluts, right.
<Jessleep> predder: cant fight the truth, baby.
<predder> damn, I was hoping for more zing.

Quote #466 (+11) [ 2003-04-14, 02:22 ] [ + | - | X ]

<bundy> this assignment sucks
<bundy> someone come and do my ass for me
<bundy> *assignment
<bundy> that is
<bundy> luckily i run the quote db
<Fodder> you don't run the ugbox db
<bundy> ...
<bundy> oh dear

Quote #3036 (+2) [ 2005-10-19, 22:28 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Jazarus> I want to stop looking at porn and go back to going to church
<Fred_Nurk> sure you do
<IKT> get a psp, do both at the same time

Quote #3310 (+6) [ 2006-04-01, 20:22 ] [ + | - | X ]

<D_Web> I accidently left a tube of heatshrink out in the sun today, and it shrunk :(

Quote #3270 (+2) [ 2006-02-25, 20:19 ] [ + | - | X ]

<thetron> FreeFrag: Most of the news is copy and paste
<FreeFrag> thetron, no, it clearly isn't.
<FreeFrag> You have to write up a bit about what each news article is about, and you're nto cabapel of doineg taht.
<thetron> I can't understand what you said. Atleast i could spell it right

Quote #762 (+5) [ 2003-07-10, 18:01 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Greg> i am so fucking pissed off now
<Greg> and i cant remember why :(

Quote #2405 (+18) [ 2004-12-01, 12:39 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Owen> Kirsten has been listening to Britney Spear's greatest hits non stop for the last three days
<Skitzo> Uhh
<Skitzo> Britney Spear's greatest hits?
<Skitzo> Is it a blank CD?

Quote #6 (+6) [ 2002-10-21, 06:26 ] [ + | - | X ]

<\Roscoe> Dwarfs can have huge wangs... I've got DivX's to prove it :)
<milenko> \Roscoe: you sicko
<Narcolepsy> DCC!!!
<PooJou> \Roscoe: 'Blimey, you're a tripod'
<Draebor> \Roscoe - no divxs of your family
<\Roscoe> msg milenko Yeah no probs... send me your address I'll burn em for you.

Quote #1106 (+130) [ 2003-10-11, 23:45 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Tommmo> we went for a war drive in the commo, i have a 300W inverter
<Tommmo> anyway so we found this AP.
<Tommmo> then i went to take off again
<Tommmo> and the lights went dim
<Tommmo> and the car stopped :D
<Tommmo> combination of high beam / aircon / 4 laptops + not much car movement made it go flat quick :)
<Tommmo> so we posted a call for help via IRC
<Rik> rofl
<Rage> hahaha nice
<Tommmo> (12:49am) * Aday-LAN (aday@vw18562.dft.com.au) has joined #whirlpool
<Tommmo> (12:49am) <Aday-LAN> Tommmo here.... smarm are you there???
<Tommmo> (12:50am) <Aday-LAN> MrShrub: where are you... ?
<Tommmo> (12:51am) <Aday-LAN> can someone jump start this car :)
<Tommmo> (12:51am) <Aday-LAN> We're.. umm stranded next to an open ap
<Tommmo> (12:51am) <MrShrub> lol...what?
<Tommmo> (12:51am) <MrShrub> HAHAHAHAHA
<Tommmo> >:D
<Tommmo> then the RACV guy turns up and he looks at everyone with laptops in the car outside someone's house at 1AM
<Tommmo> and says 'what the fuck are u blokes doing' :D
<Rage> lol
<Rage> sifnt roll-start
<Rage> or was it auto?
<Tommmo> auto
<FreeFrag> ROFL!!
<Tommmo> i was worried they were gonna discover us iRCiing from their wireless
<Tommmo> and come out the front
<Tommmo> :D
<Rage> hahaa
<Tommmo> whilst stranded :D
<Rage> that'd be so funny
<Rage> "DRIVE MAN DRIVE!!!"
<Rage> "WE CANT"
<Tommmo> hahah..
<Tommmo> "START BITCH"
<Rage> "AAAAHHHHHHHH"
<Rage> heh
<Tommmo> we had an 8 port switch
<Tommmo> and an external omni antenna on the roof :)
<Rage> lol!
<Tommmo> the complete setup :)

Quote #661 (+6) [ 2003-06-12, 10:17 ] [ + | - | X ]

<nintendofreak555> how about this idea 4 a game:a fps where you go into an alternate dimension where its likethe underworld and u have to fight demons to get keys to open a portal 2 ur homeland
<TonyTheTiger1122> BORING
<Teddy_Dudeman> That's DOOM you moron
<nintendofreak555> FCKU!!1111

Quote #538 (+2) [ 2003-05-10, 19:21 ] [ + | - | X ]

<klif-e> What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
<Simboo> whether junkz shaves in the morning or not :P

Quote #1187 (-1) [ 2003-10-21, 22:17 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Wolff> the most annoying thing ive ever had happen, happened 15 minute's ago! when your going for it, and your right at custard stroke, and the parents of the GF come home, and you younger brother barges in and starts yelling and telling me to get out... and he's 12 and an ADHD... how annoying is that!
<biatch> ... Custard stroke ...
<Wolff> yeah....
<biatch> Nice terminology
* sabretooth sets mode: +b *!*@202.72.189.187
* Wolff was kicked by sabretooth (We don't care. Bye.)
<@sabretooth> Jeez I've kicked a few people today.
<biatch> Spanked!
* biatch hides
<@sabretooth> nah, smacked. I save the spanking for you (wink) :P Juuust kidding. Settle down...

Quote #3169 (+8) [ 2006-01-04, 09:46 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Turophile> Who here wouldn't date / otherthings with/to Jennifer Morrison?
<MonoJoker> Turophile that's a question for the pub
<Turophile> Sure, she was born in 1979.
<V8R[ws]> is she female?
<MonoJoker> lol
<Turophile> Yes.
<V8R[ws]> that'll do!
<Turophile> She's also in House... she's the hot one.
<SirPNut> <V8R[ws]> is she female? <-- as if descriminate like that....
<SirPNut> has she got a pulse ?
<V8R[ws]> hahah
<V8R[ws]> is she warm!?
<Grosby> "if I push her, will she move a little"

Quote #524 (+35) [ 2003-05-04, 21:27 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Erve|afk> it's like a koala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain
<WhiteyFord> sensational

Quote #3049 (+4) [ 2005-10-27, 20:51 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Hunter> bloody monkeysuit uniforms. you guys know how hot it is working in IT with a bloody tie
<DeadlyDude> going into town with a suit on is teh win tho
<Hunter> had to supervise an erection today
<Hunter> it wasnt a big one

Quote #2058 (+3) [ 2004-06-14, 21:05 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Carrots> but your just a script kiddie
<SoulReap> scripts my ass
*** SoulReap Quit (Exit: ( www.nnscript.de :: NoNameScript 3.73 :: www.XLhost.de ))

Quote #190 (+8) [ 2002-12-22, 12:01 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Yaleman> I just got kicked out of an online pictionary game for drawing somepeople doing it doggie style :)

Quote #3434 (+4) [ 2006-07-07, 11:52 ] [ + | - | X ]

Teddybear: Anyways, learning about anything pregnancy related seems like a worthwhile way to spend time. You never know when you're going to have to deliver a baby in an emergency :p
Teddybear: it's on Lazerus Long's list of things humans have to be able to do, anyway
Homicidal: "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."
Homicidal: okay, so it wasnt on the list afterall

Quote #4054 (+7) [ 2007-03-12, 20:00 ] [ + | - | X ]

<outy> Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"
<MonoJoker> fish are stupid, it was probably a weir

Quote #1085 (-1) [ 2003-10-07, 02:27 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Three2go> ashley.. what are you getting me for my birthday??
<Three2go> ashley.. what are you getting me for my birthday??
<Three2go> ashley.. what are you getting me for my birthday??
<Three2go> ashley.. what are you getting me for my birthday??
<Tate> Three2go: STFU
<Three2go> :D
<Three2go> ashley.. what are you getting me for my birthday??
<Tate> I know what I'm getting you
<Tate> a nice cup of stfu

Quote #3381 (+5) [ 2006-05-26, 16:42 ] [ + | - | X ]

< Enfilade> heh, i just did a poo that had an apple sticker on it
< Enfilade> I must've eaten it by accident

Quote #2413 (+4) [ 2004-12-07, 18:20 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Warhamster> i could see the cops raiding a lan and the guy dressed as a pirate running out with his pc

Quote #1885 (+8) [ 2004-04-28, 00:55 ] [ + | - | X ]

<echelon> Alright, I'm going. I want to disconnect from the net on purpose for once.

Quote #4270 (+4) [ 2008-02-14, 22:03 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Tommmo> henk, the best feature of the VEs
<Tommmo> is the fact they
<Tommmo> a) have battery problems
<Tommmo> b) have the battery in the BOOT
<Tommmo> c) have no non-electrical way of opening the boot, from outside the car.

Quote #1310 (+11) [ 2003-11-13, 09:42 ] [ + | - | X ]

<gatecrash> its a PC, with UV die through it
<Fatal|T0nY> hay
<Fatal|PalaNIN> who cool
<gatecrash> it enhances performance by at least 500mhz
<Fatal|PalaNIN> *whoa
<Fatal|T0nY> it looks shite
<Fatal|PalaNIN> are you serious
<gatecrashno> dude im not
<gatecrash> how can paint make a pc faster?

Quote #3141 (+1) [ 2005-12-15, 12:19 ] [ + | - | X ]

Rainwulf: oh achieva you stupid fucks. Athlon64 3500+ BOX (2.2Ghz) Processor with Hyper Transport Technology (Socket 939)
Rainwulf: stupid stupid fucks
Turophile: lol Rainwulf
ace234: Rainwulf?
Rainwulf: yes
Rainwulf: what dammit
Rainwulf: im busy not doing any work
Draffa: I think he wants to know what's wrong with achieva
Rainwulf: oh
Turophile: ...
Rainwulf: great. another stupid person
Turophile: AMD64 has Hyperthreading now?
Draffa: hyper transport...
osman: hyper transport
Rainwulf: HT is intel marketingspeak.
Rainwulf: wait
Rainwulf: fuck
Turophile: Yeah, my bad...
ace234: lol nice work Rainwulf :)
Rainwulf: guess who is stupid. ME
Draffa: gg Rainwulf

Quote #1239 (+3) [ 2003-10-29, 01:54 ] [ + | - | X ]

(biatch): MadHatter - i'll refer you to gibbon for that answer :) So, Gibbon... was it hard? :)
(@Gibbon): at times

Quote #1407 (0) [ 2003-12-02, 00:49 ] [ + | - | X ]

(Chim) I masturbated with a cucumber. I washed it and a few days later my mom used it in a salad.

Quote #2658 (+3) [ 2005-03-31, 23:10 ] [ + | - | X ]

<nismo> Struzball in some US states they have different science classes
<Struzball> lol really nismo
<nismo> one for evolutionary science and one for creationism science
<nismo> i know which one id be doing for easy marks :D
<nismo> Exam
<nismo> Question 1
<nismo> who created the platypus
<nismo> a) God
<nismo> correct
<KamiNeko> rofl nismo

Quote #2601 (+6) [ 2005-02-22, 04:50 ] [ + | - | X ]

<MadHatter_> A master corporal from Ontario, the lead sniper of his three-man team, said when they first landed in the combat zone "our spider senses were tingling.... It was night and we didn't know what to expect."
<MadHatter_> ahahahahaha
<MadHatter_> sniperman... sniperman... does what ever a sniper can
<Aedan_18br> haha
<Draffa> lol
<MadHatter_> shoots a terrorist, any size, kills alqaeda, just like flies... lookout!
<MadHatter_> here comes the sniperman?

Quote #4065 (+2) [ 2007-03-21, 05:58 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Zardoz> Worst. Sleep. Evar.
<Zardoz> Also not to mention I had dreams of 4chan
<Zardoz> I had fucking 4chan in my dreams
<Zardoz> /b/ no less
<Lurks> to ugbox with that

Quote #1193 (-1) [ 2003-10-22, 16:12 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Nozz> Instead of being jealous, I'm just gonna do the weed thing and find every possible flaw in Saga's new system.
<Stix> good call
<Saga> find away, i'm actually interested in what people think my next upgrade should be...
<Nozz> You spent too much money!! TwinX RAM is shit! Radeon9800, pfft. Gimme a S-Media GF2 any day.

Quote #1492 (0) [ 2004-01-09, 00:56 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Spaar> I banged the smart chick on True Love!
<Firefrog> So? I smooched Bastila
<Spaar> bastard
<Migishu> ...
<Firefrog> and your cousin too
* Firefrog runs back to kotor
<Spaar> so did I
<Spaar> wait....
<Spaar> awww FUCK

Quote #84 (+4) [ 2002-11-18, 04:17 ] [ + | - | X ]

<afro> i'd cut my dick off if i had a kid like K|dDO

Quote #1251 (+1) [ 2003-10-30, 23:25 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Rik> my ass in uncrackable
<Rik> actually
<Rik> wait a minute
<Rik> there's plenty of crack there

Quote #2755 (-3) [ 2005-05-15, 19:12 ] [ + | - | X ]

<FreeFrag> I imagine it'd be hard to pilot a motorbike with an erection sticking into your back
<outonanisl> you should try flying a plane FreeFrag
<Quadbox> flying planes is easy
<outonanisl> that went completely over your head didnt it Quadbox?
<Quadbox> oh, with erection in back?
<outonanisl> yes
<Quadbox> yes, that could be tricky

Quote #304 (-3) [ 2003-02-04, 11:02 ] [ + | - | X ]

<DDsD|in> Narc|BBS, you got to take it slow, make it last all night.. thats what the gurls like right?
<Narcolepsy> DDsD|in: I'm not sure about the one thrust per hour thing though...
<DDsD|in> Narcolepsy, well if i was having sex with a whale i spose one thrust per hour would be enough?
<DDsD|in> not that i have sex with whales often
<Narcolepsy> Not nearly often enough, methinks...

Quote #4279 (+11) [ 2008-03-01, 18:19 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Selekta> i see why it's called internet explorer
<Selekta> cause they have explorer (file explorer)
<Selekta> then internet mail
<Selekta> internet directory
<Selekta> then internet explorer
<Selekta> makes sense
* Lurks|Work is now known as Lurks
<The_Dan> you also use it to explore the internet

Quote #4102 (+3) [ 2007-05-01, 18:01 ] [ + | - | X ]

<mazzanet> pantyhose
<Tha_Den> pantyhouse
<Torched> partyhouse
<Tha_Den> partyhose?

Quote #1409 (+14) [ 2003-12-03, 16:51 ] [ + | - | X ]

<CapnChron> Yea... I went and watched a movie
<CapnChron> Tried to get up
<CapnChron> Couldn't
<CapnChron> So I got mum to pull me off
<yale_work> ahahahahahaa
<CapnChron> and bang.. it hurts and has been hurting since.

Quote #2433 (+9) [ 2004-12-17, 09:37 ] [ + | - | X ]

&lt;blazemore&gt; omg i love this song<br />
&lt;blazemore&gt; Now playing: Unknown Artist - Track 2<br />
&lt;Javi&gt; blazemore: yeah, that's a bad ass song

Quote #2681 (+7) [ 2005-04-13, 12:17 ] [ + | - | X ]

[12:15] [ betanumeri]: yes Ultimata
[12:17] [ betanumeri]: how come everyone stops when i talk
[12:17] [ Ultimata]: dunno, maybe its your breath? :P
[12:17] [ betanumeri]: nope aint my breath and i ment on irc
[12:19] [ Hayden]: smelly fingers

Quote #606 (-1) [ 2003-05-29, 19:42 ] [ + | - | X ]

<mort-> you know youre bored when youre sitting on irc levering chips off a 32mb dimm with a screwdriver