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Quote #4012 (+15) [ 2007-01-17, 19:37 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Nozz> Holly barely cries or causes us any grief at all
<Nozz> I think the baby manufacturers were just going easy on us the first time or something
<Freaek> sweet
<Freaek> if someone ever hoodwinks me into having kids, can I get the configs from you?
<Freaek> just tarball them onto ugbox or something
<Nozz> sorry dude, they're proprietry :p
<Nozz> I destroyed the source after I compiled it
<Freaek> aww come on maaan
<Freaek> software wants to be free
<Freaek> maybe I can reverse engineer it
<Nozz> I'd prefer if you didn't

Quote #2472 (+4) [ 2005-01-07, 12:18 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Cathar> what is a bride?
<Cathar> 'tis a woman who has just been married
<Cathar> this is why women smile when they're walking down the aisle
<Cathar> they know that they've given their last blowjob

Quote #4333 (+3) [ 2008-06-13, 00:20 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Dopefish> my gf's sister is such a nerd
<Dopefish> she programs in c/c++ like 12 hours a day now
<Agg> she sounds hot

Quote #3390 (+11) [ 2006-06-02, 21:50 ] [ + | - | X ]

«biatch» Oh my goodness! Kingy really did email me a pic of his weiner!
«sabretooth» Heh
«biatch» You filthy animal!
«Sciby» Really?
«Sciby» bwahahaha
«Sciby» That's awesome.
«Bern|pizza» moo
«Grosby» FORWARD - grosby[at]gmail[dot]com

Quote #2857 (-3) [ 2005-07-01, 01:23 ] [ + | - | X ]

Ace: people say cocksucker like it's a bad thing

Quote #3249 (0) [ 2006-02-11, 22:41 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Narcolepsy> wangbat? Sounds like that sort of device could do some serious damage to a man's....manhood.
<Dopefish> are there such things as 1.66ghz centrinos
<Narcolepsy> What about neutrinos?
<Erve> my cpu is a neural net processor
<Erve> a lurning computer
<Narcolepsy> lurning, hey?
<Narcolepsy> Perhaps it should lurn how to speel.

Quote #1496 (+10) [ 2004-01-09, 23:27 ] [ + | - | X ]

<m> "Penguins have extraordinary pooing powers, according to a team of scientists from a German university. They went to the Antarctic to study the creatures, and found they shoot their poo 38 centimetres from their nests. The scientists worked out the penguins' poo comes out at more than four times the force a human can manage"
<j> I see a new version of Tux Racer

Quote #445 (-1) [ 2003-04-03, 22:29 ] [ + | - | X ]

<^catalyst> man, I burnt my tongue on a fuckin cappicino
<^catalyst> its reallllly pissin me of.
<^catalyst> of
<^catalyst> ff
<^catalyst> OFF
<^catalyst> IM NOT A RETARD

Quote #2135 (-1) [ 2004-07-12, 00:11 ] [ + | - | X ]

<ziad>: take everything she says with at least a bucket of salt :)

Quote #160 (+6) [ 2002-12-13, 03:49 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Sticks> FUCK them - they want equality, then they can have the same rights as EVERYONE
<Sticks> forget I said that
<Sticks> wrong channel for that talk
*** Sticks was kicked by Z ((Sticks) Twit)

Quote #764 (+11) [ 2003-07-10, 22:06 ] [ + | - | X ]

<kiddO> Agg[away], Can I defuse you? CAUSE YOUR DA BOMB!
<Agg[away]> no. please die.

Quote #2126 (+9) [ 2004-07-09, 23:38 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Sciby2> Guys, anyone who's got my mobile number, can they please pm or sms me their details again... yay for having a blank phone. If I don't know you, don't pm me your number, because I'll just post it to alt.mental-problems.sociopath.day-release-programs

Quote #1816 (+8) [ 2004-04-09, 23:48 ] [ + | - | X ]

<nwatts> do ya get thems camel spiders in australia?
<Tabris> nwatts: nope, but what we have are spiders and bugs a heck of a lot worse... Australia, land of things that will kill you
<nwatts> :'(
* @Daemon hides creepy crawly things in nwatts's room
<ace234> oh great i look at the picture and now i hear creeping noises:@
<Tabris> everytime i talk to somone from overseas i tell them under any given rock is at least 10 things that will kill you :P im doing my part keeping tourists away :)
<FreeFrag> rofl

Quote #1407 (0) [ 2003-12-02, 00:49 ] [ + | - | X ]

(Chim) I masturbated with a cucumber. I washed it and a few days later my mom used it in a salad.

Quote #136 (-4) [ 2002-12-05, 03:30 ] [ + | - | X ]

<albert> sandra 2003
<albert> 2004 was released the other day
<albert> get with the times
<albert> although it won't run on amd processors
<albert> they can't handle the benchmarks
<albert> they collapse in flames
* sabretooth sets mode: +b *!*@dialup-74.149.220.203.acc01-poun-gra.comindico.com.au
* albert was kicked by sabretooth (OMFG LOL SAME ASL?)

Quote #1804 (+5) [ 2004-04-06, 10:42 ] [ + | - | X ]

<mazza[W]> wtf
<mazza[W]> my mum wont take me into work because of the socks im wearing
<mazza[W]> :|

Quote #4287 (+7) [ 2008-03-25, 21:11 ] [ + | - | X ]

<gords> i happened to walk in to one of our computer labs when a teacher was trying to use one of our new flatbed scanners to scan an artwork made entirely out of chicken wire

Quote #3315 (+1) [ 2006-04-06, 19:09 ] [ + | - | X ]

DJStudd: ffs
DJStudd: Just got gastro from my wife 45 minutes ago
DJStudd: puked the second I got out of the car :(
Stygian: DJ-Studd: sux2bu :P
DJStudd: that it does :'(
Stygian: got a laptop?
Stygian: cos you'll be IRCing from the toilet sooner or later :P
Bern: Try cooking her for a bit longer next time DJStudd
Stygian: unless you go for some REALLY out there stuff
MonoAWAY: I read news.com.au on the toilet this morning
DJStudd: ha ha Stygian :(
MonoAWAY: who said men can't multitask? :)

Quote #1546 (+6) [ 2004-01-21, 21:52 ] [ + | - | X ]

<D_Web> what do you call a mexian guy who's had his car stolen?
<D_Web> Carlos

Quote #551 (+5) [ 2003-05-14, 22:48 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Lurks|awy> finally my fucking pay is in
<sabretooth> You got paid for fucking? I didn't know that you were in that industry.
<sabretooth> Though, it was suspected.

Quote #393 (+9) [ 2003-03-11, 19:49 ] [ + | - | X ]

<FrankThePug> any hackers in here
<FrankThePug> ...
<Ycros> In what sense?
<Ycros> And/Or context.
<FrankThePug> remote access
<FrankThePug> i need to use it
<Ycros> Use remote access? To where?
<FrankThePug> a friends computer
<Ycros> For what purpose?
<FrankThePug> information
<FrankThePug> can u help
<HeadshotSniper> try asio
<FrankThePug> um
<FrankThePug> no
<FrankThePug> isnt that like the secret service
<HeadshotSniper> Au spy
<HeadshotSniper> network
<FrankThePug> where can i get that from
<Ycros> Would that be information that your friend would not want you to have?
<FrankThePug> maybe
<FrankThePug> can u help
<Ycros> So why should I help you breach somebody's privacy? Would you like me looking through your personal files? I think not.
<FrankThePug> due
<FrankThePug> dude
<FrankThePug> he has something of mine on his comp
<Bigchris> if hes your friend, ask for it back.
<Bigchris> FFS.
<FrankThePug> hes sort of not my friend anymore
<Bigchris> oh
<Bigchris> what is it exactally, porn of your mum or something?
<FrankThePug> no
<HeadshotSniper> lol
<FrankThePug> a copy of empire earth
<Ycros> .
<Bigchris> lol.
<videl-emi> roflmao
<HeadshotSniper> Rofl
<videl-emi> someone put this in log or something
<videl-emi> funniest quotes ever
<Bigchris> lol
<Bigchris> i think im gonna cry
<HeadshotSniper> you trying to hack empire earth back? and your on dialup if you wanted to d/l it

Quote #3257 (+5) [ 2006-02-14, 17:30 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Hunter> i used to think being a system administrator was some glorious job filled with all sorts of wonder. sort of a way to exercise one's god complex. now i realise its fucking boring and stressful :D

Quote #4302 (-1) [ 2008-04-25, 12:34 ] [ + | - | X ]

<brodsta> lol, Destiny is what you make of it :P
<outy> yeah but im all out of lego's

Quote #144 (+2) [ 2002-12-08, 01:24 ] [ + | - | X ]

<EvilElmo`> when do ppl here start hols?
<risesies> EvilElmo`: started about 2 weeks ago :P
<mongie> i started 3 weeks ago
<EvilElmo`> fucking uni bums
<EvilElmo`> you bum..
<dspringau> no I'm an ass

Quote #2464 (+35) [ 2005-01-04, 01:49 ] [ + | - | X ]

* Jessica loves her FatMan pr0n collection
<Jessica> i like a bit of jerk
<Jessica> the band i mean
<Jessica> shit shit.

Quote #4293 (-4) [ 2008-04-03, 08:43 ] [ + | - | X ]

<enigma> aah yes
<enigma> that's the guy i thought fuzz was
<BFM> Who's the babe on the left?
<glasnt> BFM: ... there are 3 men in that picture
<BFM> WHAT

Quote #3115 (+8) [ 2005-11-30, 00:06 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Jessica> Dear overclockers,
<Jessica> Being capped blows.
<Jessica> Love Jessica.
<Manol> Dear Jessica,
<Manol> Welcome to Australian Broadband
<Manol> Love Manol
<Manol> xxx

Quote #989 (+7) [ 2003-09-02, 20:47 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Tazmin> my fone got flogged 2day
<Tazmin> im just pissed about the sim card...dun care about the phonw
<Tazmin> some of those numbers i shall never be able to get back :(
<Chastity> tsk tsk ppl who rely on technology :-P
<Tazmin> pffffttt,chas my phone was like my other brain
<RoSWeLL> so your phone was like a penis is to a male ?
<Chastity> that's even more scary :-P
<RoSWeLL> guess i can understand the logic there

Quote #423 (+4) [ 2003-03-26, 15:57 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Leigh> my keyboard is fucking weird, i turn it upside down, give it a shake and pubes fall out

Quote #1492 (0) [ 2004-01-09, 00:56 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Spaar> I banged the smart chick on True Love!
<Firefrog> So? I smooched Bastila
<Spaar> bastard
<Migishu> ...
<Firefrog> and your cousin too
* Firefrog runs back to kotor
<Spaar> so did I
<Spaar> wait....
<Spaar> awww FUCK

Quote #1177 (+5) [ 2003-10-20, 17:28 ] [ + | - | X ]

(Tate): mmmm cork
(Tate): I mean
(Tate): mmmm sarah
(Trav): cork?!
(Tate): cork
(Tate): on a bottle
(Tate): you know
(Trav): ewww you sick fetish boy
(Tate): CORK NOT CAWK
(Tate): :P
(Tate): different spelling
(Trav): tate a cork and a cawk, both would go the same place for you
(bundy): LOL
(Tate): hhahahaa

Quote #2559 (-1) [ 2005-02-02, 17:15 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Jester[X]> someone should slashdot slashdot

Quote #38 (-1) [ 2002-10-28, 07:06 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Baker|DDR> Anyways, back to playing half naked ddr

Quote #1566 (+2) [ 2004-01-29, 03:37 ] [ + | - | X ]

<wh0re> shoudl I have a bat or go to sleep
<Ubeek> get best of both worlds Lee
<Ubeek> +the
<wh0re> well my left arm isn't feeling up to it and beating off with your other arm doesn't feel as good
<wh0re> so I might just pack it in
<Ubeek> haha
<Ubeek> another bloody lefty
<wh0re> cursed at birth
<wh0re> on average we live nine years shorter than right-handers
<Ubeek> we do?
<Ubeek> dammit
<wh0re> so yeah not much going for us
<wh0re> at least we have big dicks
<Ubeek> theres always that
* Ubeek grabs his crotch
<wh0re> always an upside
<wh0re> yeah
* wh0re uses two hands to handle his moneybag
<wh0re> they don't call me the Monopoly man for nothing
<Ubeek> I could do olympic pole vaulting with this baby
<wh0re> hahaha
<Ubeek> lol
<Ubeek> 'Go to my nads. Go directly to my nads.'
<wh0re> hahahaha
<Ubeek> and theres a Get out of bukkakke free card

Quote #1852 (+8) [ 2004-04-17, 21:14 ] [ + | - | X ]

<@Fall> oh man
<@Fall> my work calls me today
<@Fall> "Brad, I can't connect to F:"
<@Fall> "ok, disconnect, reconnect"
<@Fall> "alright."
<@Fall> "reboot, call me back in 5"
<@Fall> *5 minutes pass*
<@Fall> "you've reconnected to F:?"
<@Fall> "no, it couldn't connect again"
<@Fall> "Start -> Run -> cmd... ping 192.168.0.1"
<@Fall> "Destination host unreachable...?"
<@Fall> "plug the network cable back in"
<@Fall> "oh yeah, F works now!"
<@Fall> *blank look*

Quote #4244 (+3) [ 2007-11-16, 14:05 ] [ + | - | X ]

<FagDad> me: "I'm bored"
<FagDad> her: "Oh ok i'll drive over now"
<FagDad> me: "NO! I'm sleeping!"
<FagDad> Sister. says:
<FagDad> Youuu neevvverrrr haannggg ouutttt wwiiittthhh mmmeeeeee
<FagDad> WHAT NEXT!?
<brodsta> lol
<brodsta> She wants to hang out with you?
<FagDad> Yeah
<FagDad> I cbf
<brodsta> weird
<FagDad> She used to be my casual sex partner O.o but then she went spazzo and now she scares me.
<brodsta> lol?
<FagDad> And if she wants sex... i aint giving... she's just a freaky freak
<brodsta> Keeping it in the bloodline?
<FagDad> Better than with her
* TheWedgie has quit (Quit: PC LOAD LETTER)
<brodsta> .....ok now I'm confused, who are we talking about?
<FagDad> I mean she's a fantastic root. but i'm tired and she scares me. She's only good for; sex and coke.
<FagDad> BRODSTA: I DONT KNOW OKAY? STOP QUESTIONING ME PLEASE
<brodsta> So, this is just some chick who's MSN nick is set to Sister. for some reason?
<FagDad> Oh no lol.
<FagDad> She's not MY SISTEr
<FagDad> it's just her MSN name
<FagDad> Jesus that must of looked bad

Quote #105 (-1) [ 2002-11-20, 06:18 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Junkz> If cum tasted like chocolate, everyone would swallow.

Quote #1268 (+7) [ 2003-11-03, 01:58 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Lombers> yeah, he had 3 drunk girls naked in his room
<Lombers> and I have the logs to prove it :P
<Sciby> Fuck the logs, I want photos.

Quote #898 (+6) [ 2003-08-13, 21:39 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Dr[a]ebor> EVIL
* Dr[a]ebor STABS
<brembo`a> stab ya caps lock there
* Dr[a]ebor REALISES HIS KB IS STUCK IN CAPS SOMEHOW FFS
*** Dr[a]ebor Quit (Quit: REBOOTARRRGGGGHH!!)

Quote #31 (+2) [ 2002-10-27, 11:30 ] [ + | - | X ]

* Erve remembers a certain bi person saying WhiteyFord was teh goods
<Rik> was he a kitchen storage product?
<WhiteyFord> no, it was Revenge's wife
<DDsD_EsaY> *chuckle*
<DDsD_EsaY> you sex up Revenges wife?
<WhiteyFord> id hit it
<DDsD_EsaY> but you didnt.. why?
<WhiteyFord> Revenge

Quote #2627 (+4) [ 2005-03-15, 17:48 ] [ + | - | X ]

<brembo`> we have ducted vacuuming
<brembo`> and ducted aircon, but both are rather neglected they only 50% work
<TheWedgie> so your house both sucks & blows?

Quote #2545 (+2) [ 2005-01-28, 18:03 ] [ + | - | X ]

<aftahours> Hadamona: Cos most of our customers are budget tightarses
<Hadamona> lol
<outonanisl> how tight?
<ace234> that got outonanisl interested
<aftahours> as tight as a nuns....
<outonanisl> see you next tuesday aftahours?
<aftahours> see you in a fire?

Quote #3355 (0) [ 2006-05-06, 10:38 ] [ + | - | X ]

<MonoAWAY> what's the usual dead component that causes the pc to not power up at all - gotta be mobo hasn't it?
<Narcolepsy> Checked for shorts?
<MonoAWAY> anything past the mobo would allow boot but not post?
<MonoAWAY> yes i'm wearing shorts now

Quote #9 (+14) [ 2002-10-21, 06:35 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Rage-sifnt> ffs, i have a WHOLE cow stuck in my braces
<othy> Rage-sifnt, i can think of worse places to have a whole cow stuck
<knowsfords> othy: in a barn?

Quote #1240 (+2) [ 2003-10-29, 01:55 ] [ + | - | X ]

(@Agg): chest hair and a big blue bum.. chest hair and a big blue bum.. wooah
(@Agg): whatever that song is.

Quote #3506 (-1) [ 2006-08-12, 12:03 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Lombers> I really need to get some food into me
<Lombers> I'm starving
<Lombers> also need to remember where I am going tonight
<Junkz> ?
<Lombers> going out for dinner, but I booked some restaurant
<Lombers> and I have forgotten where it is
<Junkz> lol
<Lurks> do you know the NAME of the restaurant?
<Lurks> http://www.yellowpage.com.au is your friend
<Lurks> http://www.yellowpages.com.au is your friend <--- forgot the S
<Lombers> I think I remember how I found it
<Lombers> so I have to retrace my steps online

Quote #1832 (+4) [ 2004-04-14, 16:28 ] [ + | - | X ]

* Rik has joined #channel
<Rik> it's help a newbie time...
* Fod helps freefrag

Quote #3240 (-4) [ 2006-02-04, 23:08 ] [ + | - | X ]

<mikael^cot> havent slept in2 days
<mikael^cot> im seeing how long I can go without sleep ;P
<Daemo> lol
<Daemo> 2 days isnt that uncommon
<mikael^cot> lol I know
<mikael^cot> ima try 4
<Daemo> 2 days is 48 famine type crap

Quote #1738 (+8) [ 2004-03-11, 00:34 ] [ + | - | X ]

<adi> a win xp gnome theme is the most downloaded per day
<adi> art.gnome.org
<adi> ROFL!! i just installed the winXP theme, and i selected it, and gnome crashed!! they managed to get the windows theme just perfect!!

Quote #2157 (+1) [ 2004-07-19, 09:49 ] [ + | - | X ]

<ace234> bah fuck, i just speant 30mins messing with my sound drivers and i just realised my speekers wernt on
<thetron> owned