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Quote #3202 (+10) [ 2006-01-16, 12:58 ] [ + | - | X ]

<SolidRed> i shot lazers from my eyes during sex
<SolidRed> its an annoying power

Quote #3286 (+10) [ 2006-03-20, 21:52 ] [ + | - | X ]

<HarlyQuinn> http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v645/kombatbunni/My%20Photos/nurse1.jpg
<Tzortst> HarlyQuinn is that you?
<Fred_Nurk> you'd hope not
<Fred_Nurk> that'd be a chew your arm off I reckon
<HarlyQuinn> gee thanks
<Hunter> real harsh
<HarlyQuinn> yes that is me..so go fuck yourself
<Sniper4900> <HarlyQuinn> yes that is me..so go fuck yourself<<would be better off
<Sniper4900> :)

Quote #4349 (+10) [ 2008-07-24, 15:21 ] [ + | - | X ]

<BFM> I wonder what Chuck Norris would do to probability?
<scon|work> Make it a certainty?

Quote #3619 (+10) [ 2006-10-30, 11:51 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Danspec> so how does the MS recorvery console work?
<benz> badly
<Danspec> an answer from someone that isnt a twat?
<BBQ_69> that actually sums it up pretty well
<Danspec> yes well
<Danspec> thats hardly helpful
<BBQ_69> just like the recovery console

Quote #3641 (+10) [ 2006-11-28, 20:05 ] [ + | - | X ]

<benz> ffs, hurry up with the internet iiNet
<Falkor> you can't fit through the tubes benz
<Freaek> what about a truck Falkor?
<Falkor> possibly

Quote #4151 (+10) [ 2007-06-07, 12:34 ] [ + | - | X ]

BFM: Bah, How do I block smilies from my mates MSN. He's assigned normal letters to flashing gifs ffs
echelon_: BFM: the first step is to punch your mate in the face

Quote #4139 (+10) [ 2007-06-03, 19:53 ] [ + | - | X ]

<wayne> damn ubuntu resetting my DNA
<Shaun> wayne: Ubuntu does gene therapy now?
<wayne> heh, DNS

Quote #4144 (+10) [ 2007-06-05, 16:53 ] [ + | - | X ]

<lolcat> Haikus are easy
<lolcat> But sometimes they don't make sense
<lolcat> Refrigerator

Quote #4191 (+10) [ 2007-07-27, 17:59 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Wayne> I just got a parcel
<Ghoaty> is it sultanas?
<Gamma> bomb?
<Syxx`> white powder
<Wayne> It is a Dell battery, so the prize goes to Gamma

Quote #4199 (+10) [ 2007-08-15, 15:40 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Goose1981> if i could vote for a Pro-lolcat party in the upcoming federal election.. i would.
<Goose1981> i would also donate to their election fund.. and subscribe to their newsletter.
<Hrdwr_BoB> what a coincidence
<Hrdwr_BoB> I am your local lolcat representative
<Hrdwr_BoB> I will send you my banking details asap.
<Goose1981> i can has DD details?

Quote #4011 (+10) [ 2007-01-17, 10:49 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Scyth0r> http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/01/16/environment.animals.reut/index.html
<Scyth0r> i saw this and my immediate thought was "that monkey is clinging to a penis"

Quote #4255 (+10) [ 2007-12-18, 21:45 ] [ + | - | X ]

<enigma> flatmates and I are discussing religion, purgatory, atheism, monotheism etc. i _think_ there is a word to describe a place without anything else, i've heard it referred to as something like "a grey place where the gods can go get lost" or something. is there a word, when discussing religion, that describes such a place?
<Stalhein> Dubbo?
<brodsta> hahahahah

Quote #4279 (+10) [ 2008-03-01, 18:19 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Selekta> i see why it's called internet explorer
<Selekta> cause they have explorer (file explorer)
<Selekta> then internet mail
<Selekta> internet directory
<Selekta> then internet explorer
<Selekta> makes sense
* Lurks|Work is now known as Lurks
<The_Dan> you also use it to explore the internet

Quote #4314 (+10) [ 2008-05-07, 22:06 ] [ + | - | X ]

< glasTop> What's the usless bit of skin attached to the penis? The man :P (j/k)
< Teddybear> it's not useless
< glasTop> No, its not
< Teddybear> it cooks and cracks lame jokes
< glasTop> Fuck you, Teddybear

Quote #176 (+11) [ 2002-12-18, 11:37 ] [ + | - | X ]

*** Narcolepsy is now known as YaleNarc
*** Yaleman is now known as NarcYale
<NarcYale> Goofy[LaG]: We are borg. Join with us...
<NarcYale> Put down your weapons, resistance is futile...
*** NarcYale is now known as NarYalGoof
<NarYalGoof> Join us Kitt3n, resistance is futile...
*** YaleNarc is now known as YaleNarKit
*** sniper1400 sets mode: +m
*** NarYalGoof is now known as NrYlGooSni
*** sniper1400 sets mode: -m
<NrYlGooSni> Join us, sniper1400...
<Quadbox> I wanna be assimilated too!
*** YalNarKit is now known as YlNrQuKit
<Quadbox> w00t!

Quote #35 (+11) [ 2002-10-27, 11:42 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Wizardx8> Damn those transparent eyelids...
<Cav> i should mod my eyes
<Cav> and put a one way valve on my arse
<Wizardx8> Cav, your arse is 2 way at the moment? Confirms it really :P
<Cav> god damnit :)

Quote #102 (+11) [ 2002-11-20, 06:02 ] [ + | - | X ]

<GooSE> wtf is FC?
<wild> fucking clue?
<GooSE> maybe
<GooSE> I am a bit of a dumbshit

Quote #393 (+11) [ 2003-03-11, 19:49 ] [ + | - | X ]

<FrankThePug> any hackers in here
<FrankThePug> ...
<Ycros> In what sense?
<Ycros> And/Or context.
<FrankThePug> remote access
<FrankThePug> i need to use it
<Ycros> Use remote access? To where?
<FrankThePug> a friends computer
<Ycros> For what purpose?
<FrankThePug> information
<FrankThePug> can u help
<HeadshotSniper> try asio
<FrankThePug> um
<FrankThePug> no
<FrankThePug> isnt that like the secret service
<HeadshotSniper> Au spy
<HeadshotSniper> network
<FrankThePug> where can i get that from
<Ycros> Would that be information that your friend would not want you to have?
<FrankThePug> maybe
<FrankThePug> can u help
<Ycros> So why should I help you breach somebody's privacy? Would you like me looking through your personal files? I think not.
<FrankThePug> due
<FrankThePug> dude
<FrankThePug> he has something of mine on his comp
<Bigchris> if hes your friend, ask for it back.
<Bigchris> FFS.
<FrankThePug> hes sort of not my friend anymore
<Bigchris> oh
<Bigchris> what is it exactally, porn of your mum or something?
<FrankThePug> no
<HeadshotSniper> lol
<FrankThePug> a copy of empire earth
<Ycros> .
<Bigchris> lol.
<videl-emi> roflmao
<HeadshotSniper> Rofl
<videl-emi> someone put this in log or something
<videl-emi> funniest quotes ever
<Bigchris> lol
<Bigchris> i think im gonna cry
<HeadshotSniper> you trying to hack empire earth back? and your on dialup if you wanted to d/l it

Quote #466 (+11) [ 2003-04-14, 02:22 ] [ + | - | X ]

<bundy> this assignment sucks
<bundy> someone come and do my ass for me
<bundy> *assignment
<bundy> that is
<bundy> luckily i run the quote db
<Fodder> you don't run the ugbox db
<bundy> ...
<bundy> oh dear

Quote #473 (+11) [ 2003-04-16, 14:19 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Andypoo> Oo, my female sales rep at Kingmax smiled at me.
<Wolfy> computer similies don't count Andy :)
<Andypoo> :(

Quote #593 (+11) [ 2003-05-24, 21:58 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Junkz> i cant fucken roll for SHIT!
<sabretooth> <@Junkz> i cant fucken roll for SHIT! <-- But you're so round!

Quote #608 (+11) [ 2003-05-31, 12:01 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Mred32> Good thing the wife is out atm then.
<Mred32> ...cause I'm gonna take my daughter to kindy gym and check out all the mums.

Quote #627 (+11) [ 2003-06-06, 01:33 ] [ + | - | X ]

*** Joins: Monkeys (~Yomamma@....com)
(Monkeys): any one seen 2 fast 2 furious
(Monkeys): ?
(Monkeys): i liked it :)
* Darkness throws a NOS canister at Monkeys
([SweN]): lol
(Darkness): wait, you said 2 fast 2 furious didn't you.
* Darkness throws a yellow and pink flaming NOS canister at Monkeys
([SweN]): lol
(Monkeys): lol
(Monkeys): so u have seen it?
(Darkness): No.

Quote #679 (+11) [ 2003-06-17, 22:24 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Agg> its PSU RAID5. the third PSU is for parity.
<mort> thankyou agg.
<mort> thank christ someone knows.
<Agg> no, someone's taking the piss.
<Agg> (me)

Quote #685 (+11) [ 2003-06-18, 23:52 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Narcolepsy> afaik is some sort of acronym as far as I know...
<FuriousG> 'as far as i know'
<FuriousG> hey, i see what you said narc
<FuriousG> you suck
<FuriousG> make me look the fool

Quote #756 (+11) [ 2003-07-09, 21:13 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Jab> anything interesting of late VooDoo ?
<VooDoo> seems LCD screens are all the rage atm
<VooDoo> and USB products
<VooDoo> oh.. and penis and BALLS enlargements
<Agg> larger balls so you can sit on them more often? sounds great
* VooDoo wonders how Agg sits to be able to say "more often"
<Soc> you've never sat on em before?
<Soc> I have. it hurts.
* VooDoo gets sick thinking about it
<Jab> Soc ? You have sat on Agg's Balls ?
<Soc> Jab: of course. I've hit them with a rubber mallet too.
<Agg> only the once, we were both drunk, we've talked about it and it meant nothing

Quote #764 (+11) [ 2003-07-10, 22:06 ] [ + | - | X ]

<kiddO> Agg[away], Can I defuse you? CAUSE YOUR DA BOMB!
<Agg[away]> no. please die.

Quote #864 (+11) [ 2003-08-09, 17:21 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Trav_> kfc are good, but they usually have the dumbest people working on the tills :P
<FLoRa> OI TRAV!
<PooJou> Trav_: lol
<FLoRa> I passed the aptitude test with flying colorus!

Quote #957 (+11) [ 2003-08-27, 17:13 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Pure-delight> ppl tell lies a lot - on my icq i put my details as being only 13 years old because i did not want strangers trying to have cybersex with me
<RoSWeLL> lol and what would stop them ?
<RoSWeLL> i thought it would encourage them more

Quote #996 (+11) [ 2003-09-04, 22:50 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Chastity> there was a netsplit once.. and I got ops in #christian! it was the coolest day of my life

Quote #1050 (+11) [ 2003-10-02, 09:22 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Koontz> fsck whats the whirlpool site, im looking at dishwashers atm
<TheWedgie> whirlpool.net.au
<Koontz> ahhhhhhh..........took me 5 mins to figure out was dishwasher site LOL
<TheWedgie> LOL
<Koontz> LMFAO, i even added it as a favorite before i realised
<TheWedgie> n00b

Quote #1095 (+11) [ 2003-10-09, 06:54 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Infra|Red> its all about genetics, genes are what determines the size of a mans penis!
<Sparks_> sif my penis was made by god
<Sparks_> hand crafted it has his logo on it
<Sparks_> u wanna c the logo?

Quote #1137 (+11) [ 2003-10-15, 09:50 ] [ + | - | X ]

<echelon> Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?
<echelon> I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh
<echelon> my God.... I could be eating a slow learner.

Quote #1186 (+11) [ 2003-10-21, 18:03 ] [ + | - | X ]

(Radar) Oh man, I must have done some really bad shit in a past life to deserve this :/
(Largo) constipation ?

Quote #1199 (+11) [ 2003-10-22, 22:33 ] [ + | - | X ]

<knowsfords> DDsD[AaA] is an obvious terrorist
<wildNngngg> lol
<knowsfords> he has a freind name kaliban... thats almost taliban
<knowsfords> such an obvious link.
<wildNngngg> better call that fridge magnet phone number
<knowsfords> yep
<DDsD[AaA]> Im also a crack dealer in my spare time -> http://imagestore.ugbox.net/images.php?view=566a18870cc8330fead3b9a844f5e0c3
<wildNngngg> go the freaky bulge in the throat :)
<knowsfords> I mean we went to war with evidence less solid
<wildNngngg> LMAO

Quote #1222 (+11) [ 2003-10-26, 00:33 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Nemmy> dad - put the probe in your arse mate
<dad> but it doesnt fit properly
<dad> the pins are so close together

Quote #1310 (+11) [ 2003-11-13, 09:42 ] [ + | - | X ]

<gatecrash> its a PC, with UV die through it
<Fatal|T0nY> hay
<Fatal|PalaNIN> who cool
<gatecrash> it enhances performance by at least 500mhz
<Fatal|PalaNIN> *whoa
<Fatal|T0nY> it looks shite
<Fatal|PalaNIN> are you serious
<gatecrashno> dude im not
<gatecrash> how can paint make a pc faster?

Quote #1444 (+11) [ 2003-12-15, 11:22 ] [ + | - | X ]

<yyk> i'm hungry but i don't want to eat
<Agg> me too
<Agg> but in an hour or so i will go to bowral and get subway
<Agg> under the pretense of testing the new headunit in the van
<yyk> wanna swing by here and get me off?
<yyk> one
<yyk> ONE
<Agg> get you off??
<yyk> ><
<Agg> dude, Dr Freud would have a field day with you
<Agg> (but I don't know if he'd get you off)

Quote #1493 (+11) [ 2004-01-09, 00:59 ] [ + | - | X ]

(skitz) r huntsman spiders dangerous?
(Squigy) no
(GooSE) no
(skitz) there's one on my monitor
(Fod) eat it
(skitz) it likes the heat
(Fod) it's ... w33t
(skitz) :
(Hibba_) lick it
(skitz) can they bite and hurt?
(INerTIal) bite and hurt yes
(INerTIal) kill you no
(Fod) not if you eat them first

Quote #1549 (+11) [ 2004-01-23, 20:02 ] [ + | - | X ]

<knowsfords> have a little chip that interfaces with your memory and have its capacity set to something small... like 1gb.
<knowsfords> which allows you to know everything about a certain topic.
<D_Web> I don't think solid state memory can even begin to compare with the brain
<knowsfords> yes, but by the time you can fit 1gb easily on the tip of a pin... you'd think they'd know something about the brain/
<Tommmo> i suggest they use firewire :P
<D_Web> System Availability: 99.4514%
<D_Web> hrmm
<Tommmo> What's that
<Tommmo> ?
<Fod> his brain :)

Quote #1557 (+11) [ 2004-01-27, 02:48 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Nick> sorry
<Nick> but wtf is Buttsex

Quote #1662 (+11) [ 2004-02-19, 21:31 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Nick> a mate sent me this, only porn i've ever kept
<Fod> suuure
<Nick> true
<Fod> YOU'RE A SKINFIEND AND YOU KNOW IT
<Nick> SKINFIEND?
<Fod> pornography = "the skin trade"
<Nick> i really don't like it though.. 99% of it makes me get an anti-boner
<Fod> porno sex is so fucking ridiculous
<Nick> amen to that
<Fod> HI, I'M HERE TO FIX THE TV
<Fod> LET'S HAVE UPSIDE DOWN BUTTSEX
<Nick> rofl
<Nick> off to ugquotes

Quote #1693 (+11) [ 2004-02-26, 10:44 ] [ + | - | X ]

<edj> last night i saw the most amazing shooting star
<edj> it was huge, not moving too fast
<edj> then after around 10 seconds, it broke into around 5 glowing pieces
<edj> then faded away
<Draffa_> then you went blind?
<Draffa_> and plants started taking over the world!
<echelon> edj: Jetstar's maiden flight

Quote #1747 (+11) [ 2004-03-16, 12:52 ] [ + | - | X ]

<rb> the roflcopter is dropping the lollerbombs

Quote #1763 (+11) [ 2004-03-23, 19:04 ] [ + | - | X ]

<FreeFrag> I may want 10,000 kids, and if I can afford to have them why cant I?
<Falkor> hehe thats a good way to stay single
<Falkor> "I want 10,000 kids..."
<Falkor> *door slam*

Quote #1773 (+11) [ 2004-03-26, 14:51 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Radar> Rofl, my Mum just bought a massive new mirror for the lounge, and my brother goes 'So what's this do'

Quote #1936 (+11) [ 2004-05-08, 17:21 ] [ + | - | X ]

<@sabs> <incoming frown>
<@Firemoth> oi!
<@Firemoth> :(
<@sabs> Ohh, there it is :)

Quote #1982 (+11) [ 2004-05-19, 22:30 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Sciby> VTEC???
<Sciby> Don't swear, hibba.
* Sciby changes topic to '-= http://www.overclockers.com.au/ =- Dodgy and hibba are gay lovers.'
<dodge> jealous Sciby?
<Sciby> Hardly.
<dodge> so, now that we're gay lovers Hibba, when are you coming over?
<Hibba> When Sciby gets off my dick
* Hibba was kicked by Sciby (Even if I was gay, you'd still be at the bottom of my list, ugly.)
<Daemon> Sciby's busy with miriam :P
<Sciby> Leave Miriam out of this, she's a delicate flower.

Quote #2029 (+11) [ 2004-06-05, 13:50 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Fod> "shepparton has tractors, so it's one up on the amish"

Quote #2068 (+11) [ 2004-06-22, 07:34 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Gobbie> Invite to MS XP SP2 Thingo $0, Sitting thru the propeganda $0, 3 beers 2 wines and a champers $0, Having your phone ring to "Bannana Phone" in a close to silent room and having lots of ppl look at you, Priceless