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Quote #3566 (+5) [ 2006-09-26, 10:25 ] [ + | - | X ]

* V8R[hm] ircs from telstra hotspot
* V8R[hm] has quit (Ping timeout)

Quote #1666 (+19) [ 2004-02-20, 14:29 ] [ + | - | X ]

<SUPAMODEL> fuckit...
<SUPAMODEL> downloaded what is supposedly the lion king
<SUPAMODEL> but it's a 3 hour sweedish porn film
<SUPAMODEL> that's not so bad, I know
<SUPAMODEL> EXCEPT I ALREADY HAVE IT!

Quote #3471 (+3) [ 2006-07-27, 22:01 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Hamel> i'm going to go have sex before the misses goes to sleep, back in 90 secs

Quote #2707 (+7) [ 2005-04-24, 12:04 ] [ + | - | X ]

(Simboo): need to find out how to get trade rates at bursons
(tensopaway): bursons basicly is trade rates Simboo :)
(Simboo): tensopaway - not cheap enough
(Simboo): I know they can be cheaper :)
(tensopaway): any cheaper and you would have to be robbing the store Simboo
(Simboo): hmmm..
(Simboo): what you doing tonigh?
(Simboo): :P
(tensopaway): robbing bursons
(Simboo): lol
(tensopaway): 'this is a fucking stickup, give me an exedy clutch motherfucker!'
(tensopaway): 'on the phone, shutup'
(tensopaway): *30 minute wait*
(tensopaway): 'sorry, dont have it in stock, try bayswater'
(Simboo): hahahah

Quote #1496 (+11) [ 2004-01-09, 23:27 ] [ + | - | X ]

<m> "Penguins have extraordinary pooing powers, according to a team of scientists from a German university. They went to the Antarctic to study the creatures, and found they shoot their poo 38 centimetres from their nests. The scientists worked out the penguins' poo comes out at more than four times the force a human can manage"
<j> I see a new version of Tux Racer

Quote #1602 (+3) [ 2004-02-07, 18:32 ] [ + | - | X ]

<knowsfords> shows like the hot house and the block are taking two different "popular" programs on australian tv and combining
<knowsfords> Lifestyle and Reality
<knowsfords> all they need is to throw a pair of cops into the mix and they'll have aussie tv in a single hour long show

Quote #3059 (+2) [ 2005-10-31, 20:46 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Junkz> a female call centre chick in india rang me tonight
<Junkz> and i ruined her lifge
<Junkz> i dont know where from
<Junkz> but she only wanted to take 40 seconds of my time
<Junkz> so before she started i said “can i ask a question first?”
<Junkz> she said yes
<Junkz> BIG MISTAKE
<Junkz> i ask “what colour panties are you wearing?”
<Junkz> silence for 10 seconds
<Crudmuffin> ROFL Junkz
<Junkz> “im sorry i cant answe that quiestion
<Junkz> so i say “oh ok... does that mean you arent wearing any panties today?”
<Crudmuffin> haha
<kermie> klif-e asked the exact same questions to the woman at the real estate agent today
<Junkz> 20 seconds of silence
<Junkz> then she gave me the end of call speel
<Junkz> so i hung up
<Junkz> poor girl
<Junkz> she shoulda told me what colour
<Junkz> then i would have entertained her

Quote #406 (+3) [ 2003-03-18, 23:21 ] [ + | - | X ]

<influx|cs> can someone please teach me how to not suck at the internet

Quote #1923 (+3) [ 2004-05-06, 18:06 ] [ + | - | X ]

<TXtoucian> Hey Jeremy, do you know any javascript at all?
<Shaeks> whats a computer?
<TXtoucian> Good answer.

Quote #1223 (+3) [ 2003-10-26, 21:56 ] [ + | - | X ]

<luciphur> sif not fuck me in the ass
<luciphur> i love it

Quote #4314 (+11) [ 2008-05-07, 22:06 ] [ + | - | X ]

< glasTop> What's the usless bit of skin attached to the penis? The man :P (j/k)
< Teddybear> it's not useless
< glasTop> No, its not
< Teddybear> it cooks and cracks lame jokes
< glasTop> Fuck you, Teddybear

Quote #3996 (+1) [ 2007-01-02, 00:42 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Rage> my boss was telling me about the time him and his best mate when they were in their 20s bought a whole load of fireworks
<brodsta> ah homemade
<Rage> FILLED the car up
<Rage> to the max
<Rage> and was driving along the main road of sheppo
<Rage> and his mate dropped his cigarette
<Rage> they bailed, and the car was destroyed
<Rage> lol
<brodsta> It would have looked spectacular though

Quote #1866 (+7) [ 2004-04-22, 23:26 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Simboo> I swear the worst part about living with women is the amount of toilet paper they use
<Simboo> it's phenominal

Quote #4051 (+6) [ 2007-03-11, 02:28 ] [ + | - | X ]

kthnx: i can't stand the whole chimps family to be honest, the monkeys aren't the worst of it
kthnx: those stupid baboons with the weird faces give me the creeps
J_Blaze: baboons aren't chimps
J_Blaze: chimps, gorillas, humans, orangutangs
J_Blaze: are all hominids
J_Blaze: greater apes
J_Blaze: baboons are not
kthnx: oh wow
kthnx: what family do baboons end up in?
J_Blaze: yours

Quote #360 (+7) [ 2003-02-25, 21:57 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Milenko> /me thinks jester has an anime addiction
* Jester plays Evangelion - Everything You Want - Version 2.mpeg Anime Music Vid
<Milenko> dude
<Milenko> do you ever think about chicks that havent been drawn by some middle aged jap with his dick in his hand and his thumb up his ass?
* dspringau wipes snott of monitor

Quote #380 (+9) [ 2003-03-06, 17:24 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Vindictive> I bag the big screw!
<Darkness> You want to get laid by a fat chick?
<Forraje> it's fun until your friends find out
<Darkness> or someone looses an eye.... or their pelvic bone.

Quote #343 (+10) [ 2003-02-16, 21:08 ] [ + | - | X ]

<kermie> vi, that like a latin language?

Quote #4106 (+2) [ 2007-05-05, 21:51 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Lits> sex is free if the other party is willing...
<Lits> or unconscious...
<Gamma> Lits the only price of sex is the price of a small bottle of cloroform

Quote #2802 (+4) [ 2005-05-31, 09:07 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Strange1> It was a slow news day for Ray Martin the other day "The bad manners epidemic sweeping the nation, Pregnent woman and even the elderly cant get a seat on a bus"
<Strange1> I shit you not
<TheWedgie> ROFL
<TheWedgie> i saw that
<Strange1> That was the main story
<TheWedgie> next day i pushed a pregnant woman OFF the bus.
<Strange1> I pushed one infront of a bus
<TheWedgie> "Ray Martin told me to do it!
<TheWedgie> hahaha
<TheWedgie> you win.

Quote #2126 (+9) [ 2004-07-09, 23:38 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Sciby2> Guys, anyone who's got my mobile number, can they please pm or sms me their details again... yay for having a blank phone. If I don't know you, don't pm me your number, because I'll just post it to alt.mental-problems.sociopath.day-release-programs

Quote #2120 (+4) [ 2004-07-08, 19:38 ] [ + | - | X ]

<mazzanet> oh shit
<mazzanet> the VCR is smoking
<mazzanet> brb
<remote_man> rofl
<Bern> tell it smoking will stunt it's growth
<kizzap> didn't your mother ever tell you not to pass joints

Quote #2507 (+1) [ 2005-01-16, 23:31 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Flora> So I want to make arrangements and what not
<Flora> How do I do that without a phone!?
<Lartnec> Carrier pigeon.
<Flora> I don't know their address :(
<Lartnec> Send alot of carrier pigeons

Quote #3478 (+1) [ 2006-07-31, 14:51 ] [ + | - | X ]

outy: the house across from me was a brothel once
outy: probably one of the most un descreet or tasteful brothels, but nether the less, you paid your money, got your end wet, and then came out to find three out of four hubcaps missing from the falcon, and somebody has robbed the change from your centreconsole

Quote #1259 (+2) [ 2003-11-01, 13:51 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Sleepy> i feel so dirty, im going to actually spend money buying a celeron

Quote #718 (+6) [ 2003-07-03, 20:50 ] [ + | - | X ]

<al_b> what cool things can be done on the streets of melb?
<D_Web-Wire> prostitution

Quote #1440 (+9) [ 2003-12-14, 23:30 ] [ + | - | X ]

<thetron> Hmm interesting today is the 14
<thetron> september the 11th, Bail on the 12th october, something on the 13th November, Now saddam on the 14th december :Ba ba baaa:
<Frag|A> thetron, something?
<predder> errr thetron :|
<StormCyko> SOMETHING!!!
<Frag|A> :rolleyes:
<thetron> See theres a pattern
<Frag|A> there is no pattern thetron you're just being stuipted
<eDust> <thetron> See theres a pattern <-- in preschool, did you try forcing the square block into the triangle hole?

Quote #630 (+7) [ 2003-06-06, 16:28 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Lombers> crap, that was the best idea I've had for my GF's bday by far
<sabz> You're going to play the piano for her with your MiniLombers?
<wild[a]> LOL
<Lombers> don't laugh, I play the piano :)
<Lombers> but I don't have a minilombers :(
<sabz> bwahahah
<Lombers> I was going to get tickets for coldplay
<wild[a]> roflmfao
<Nozz> hahahaha

Quote #2816 (+8) [ 2005-06-08, 11:03 ] [ + | - | X ]

<yaleman> <biatch> Jesus mc-fricken christ. Sweet mother of mary. Waxing your legs HURTS <=- pfft, I've had it done, wasn't that bad :)
<pooger> she's hairier
<strongbad> rofl

Quote #1827 (+3) [ 2004-04-13, 21:41 ] [ + | - | X ]

<aftahours> i know agg was getting the servers installed as a bday present for me.
<aftahours> ;)
<Hunter> aftahours, is this before or after mum and dad told you the easter bunny wasnt real? :P

Quote #1850 (+2) [ 2004-04-17, 11:37 ] [ + | - | X ]

<knowsfords> when you say the secret magic words you become super tired?
<Fod> yeah knowsfords, and me and the spottyman go to bed

Quote #311 (+4) [ 2003-02-11, 10:21 ] [ + | - | X ]

* Dedge looks at the satellite on his roof
<Gibbon> dude, you're lucky it didn't flatten the place when it landed

Quote #3258 (+5) [ 2006-02-14, 19:26 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Freaek> damn dude, you gotta ream that shit out on occasion
<Erve> If I was smarter I would have put some coal up that arse, waited a few months, and then she would have had her own diamond for that token ring
<Freaek> so you could say she was under pressure

Quote #2213 (+7) [ 2004-08-01, 21:07 ] [ + | - | X ]

<myth> anyone know how active directory aware windows me is compared to 9x ?
<Dizqord> if windows me became aware of anything it'd delete it self upon the realisation that it is windows me.
<Frosty> "oh my god, Im a horrible plague on the world.... format c:"

Quote #4134 (+4) [ 2007-06-02, 00:39 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Gamma> im so bad at this rap shit
<EmBed> give us the sentence gamma
<Gamma> no
<EmBed> we rap it up for ya :D
<Gamma> Walking down George St with my bro's
<Gamma> looking for a drink.
<Gamma> no time to stop and think.
<Gamma> Cars race by faster then you can blink.
* Gamma rage quits
<Agg> lol
<EmBed> walking down george street, chilling with my bros
<Gamma> im not gangster enough :(
<EmBed> looking for a drink, lookin for some ho's
* Agg clears his throat
<Agg> George St, city beat, underneath the Tower
<Agg> My posse seeks with shufflin' feet, thirst-quenchin' power
<Agg> Tyre squeal, happy meal, Ronald's crazy clown
<Agg> Large coke's the soothin' dope, in this dusty town
<Gamma> hah outback rap! :P
<Gamma> thats awseome Agg
<EmBed> agg is teh legend.

Quote #1050 (+12) [ 2003-10-02, 09:22 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Koontz> fsck whats the whirlpool site, im looking at dishwashers atm
<TheWedgie> whirlpool.net.au
<Koontz> ahhhhhhh..........took me 5 mins to figure out was dishwasher site LOL
<TheWedgie> LOL
<Koontz> LMFAO, i even added it as a favorite before i realised
<TheWedgie> n00b

Quote #3206 (+7) [ 2006-01-18, 17:51 ] [ + | - | X ]

<D_Web> must be routing problems
<Erve> more lube
<D_Web> thanks wild`
<wild`> np

Quote #709 (+4) [ 2003-06-29, 19:17 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Slidey> waa my mp3s are playing very sped up
<emp|crash0r> drugs are bad for you mkay?

Quote #4240 (+4) [ 2007-11-03, 21:30 ] [ + | - | X ]

[22:26] <scruffffff> FUCK
[22:26] <scruffffff> I just superglued my mouse to my hand
[22:26] <scruffffff> :(
[22:27] <glasnt> who the fuck gave you superglue unattended, scruffff?!!/!?! LOL!
[22:27] * glasnt is finished making fun of the kids who sniff glue.
[22:27] <scruffffff> fuck
[22:28] <scruffffff> how do i get rid of this shit
[22:28] <@Sniper4800> hope you dont SG yer fingers the the keyboard then
[22:28] <scruffffff> sniper: i was fixing my mouse
[22:28] <scruffffff> and i held it together
[22:28] <glasnt> you should be able to remove it with some nailpolish remover or metholated spirits?
[22:29] <@Sniper4800> axe would be quicker
[22:29] <PharaohSam> lol it will be stuck to your hands for a few days until the layer of skin gets replaced - may have been a better idea to get a new mouse. what kinda mouse was it
[22:29] <PharaohSam> ?
[22:30] <scruffffff> wireless mighty mouse
[22:30] <scruffffff> and ill go into the lab tmr and get some acetone
[22:30] <glasnt> So.. you're gonna keep the mouse stuck to your hand over night?
[22:31] <scruffffff> unless you can think of a better idea...?

Quote #2184 (+4) [ 2004-07-24, 21:19 ] [ + | - | X ]

<tensop> Hmm.. there were 3.5 million crimes commited in south africa in 2000 :)
<G-Force> and 2004?
<tensop> the statistics are unavailble for 2004 G-Force, the statistics guy in south africa was carjacked on the way to work, so he had to catch a bus.. he was robbed 5 times while waiting for the bus, then the bus driver was murdered so he had to walk, on his way there he was assaulted 6 times and finally murdered

Quote #1530 (+23) [ 2004-01-16, 11:21 ] [ + | - | X ]

* CapnChron goes off to wake his sister up
<FuriousG> don't wake her, just put your weener in her mouth, and take photos
<FuriousG> then, post the photos on the internet
<FuriousG> then show all her friends
<FuriousG> then move to alaska
<FuriousG> chuckle to yourself for thirty years
<@Fragwizard> heheheheheheh
<CapnChron> lol
* CapnChron shows this to his sister

Quote #4363 (+3) [ 2008-08-16, 17:26 ] [ + | - | X ]

<@Agg> i'm so hip i can barely see over my pelvis

Quote #805 (+7) [ 2003-07-21, 01:51 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Shorty> ther ewas a fly on my monitor
<Shorty> i tried 2 scare it with my cursor

Quote #3078 (+7) [ 2005-11-12, 01:28 ] [ + | - | X ]

(outy) ok need another sex shop address
(outy) cant find a picture of the dildo i need
(FatMan) ...WHAT?
(outy) need a dildo.

Quote #3310 (+6) [ 2006-04-01, 20:22 ] [ + | - | X ]

<D_Web> I accidently left a tube of heatshrink out in the sun today, and it shrunk :(

Quote #2631 (+1) [ 2005-03-19, 15:35 ] [ + | - | X ]

<retz> Http://usera.imagecave.com/complexigon/furyshirtcopy.jpg http://usera.imagecave.com/complexigon/furyshirtcopy2.jpg <-- Which text placement do you prefer? (ignore the crappy tshirt outline, just look at the damn text placement :P)
<Fred_Nurk> well, the outline sucks
<FreeFrag> That's a pretty crappy outline
<EvilElmo> worst outline ever
<retz> I hate you all.

Quote #3257 (+6) [ 2006-02-14, 17:30 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Hunter> i used to think being a system administrator was some glorious job filled with all sorts of wonder. sort of a way to exercise one's god complex. now i realise its fucking boring and stressful :D

Quote #3246 (+6) [ 2006-02-10, 16:24 ] [ + | - | X ]

-!- Bostik has joined...
<Bostik> well, that was the stupidest thing i have done in a while
<Bostik> i applied for a job while high
<Rara_Avis> lol
<Rara_Avis> how'd it go?
<Bostik> i knew it was going to go badly. the first thing i did once i got to Burnside was walk into a glass door.

Quote #716 (+3) [ 2003-07-01, 21:23 ] [ + | - | X ]

<z3[n]> janelle: mayb he cums to early
<z3[n]> didnt even get the chance to undress u
<janelle> yeah i take my top off and he cums
<janelle> im like hello ive still got underlayers on..
<Bam> i dont blame him
<z3[n]> lol

Quote #336 (+2) [ 2003-02-14, 20:54 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Gibbon> sniper doesn't like being jiggled
* sniper1470 FLATTENS Gibbon with a FARKING HUGE SLEDGEHAMMER
<sniper1470> I'm not a teabag

Quote #183 (+6) [ 2002-12-20, 01:42 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Narcolepsy> OMG! Baker has no bunghole!!!
<Baker|BBL> You noticed Narcolepsy :D
<Narcolepsy> Can I see? jk..
<Baker|BBL> Sure! go to www.goa... err...
<Rage> :o