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Quote #1192 (0) [ 2003-10-22, 15:00 ] [ + | - | X ]

<yy> on the side of a bus i see an ad with four girls in bikinis
<yy> it goes
<yy> "why do one... dufour"
<yy> then i crack up like a spastic.
<Sciby> What's a dufour?
<Borg-Work> lol
<Borg-Work> n00b
<Sciby> lol, stfu.
<Sciby> Oh, wait. No lol.
* Wolfy wonders if Sciby knows what is going on .. yet
<Sciby> Yes, I know what's going on. I don't pay that much attention to deodorant...
* Borg-Work dcc's sciby a clue.exe

Quote #1304 (+5) [ 2003-11-11, 21:11 ] [ + | - | X ]

<sam cochrane> i need friends
<sam cochrane> please?
<sam cochrane> am willing to pay

Quote #666 (+2) [ 2003-06-13, 03:17 ] [ + | - | X ]

<RedOctober> brb
<RedOctober> Gota scare the shit outa my sister :P
<RedOctober> Muwhahah
<RedOctober> I got my sister, and her friend
<RedOctober> Damn I'm good :P
<RoSWeLL> how ?
<RedOctober> They were @ Newgrounds on my dad's PC
<RedOctober> I came from behind and waited ;P
<RoSWeLL> just use remote control panel ..
<RoSWeLL> pop up goatse on their screen
<RedOctober> Hahah
<RoSWeLL> thatd scare the shit out of em
<RoSWeLL> probally be scarred for life or left blind one of the two

Quote #2597 (+4) [ 2005-02-20, 16:49 ] [ + | - | X ]

(Falkor): Ok i just hit the pinnacle of geekdom, i took my laptop to the toilet because i was 'in the zone' whilst coding PHP.
(colabus): this is why I question buying 2nd hand
(colabus): never know where the item has been :/

Quote #3325 (+6) [ 2006-04-14, 22:51 ] [ + | - | X ]

<D_Web> mum was just standing behind me, I could here her heart valves clearly
<D_Web> click click click click
<brembo`> 6 million dollar mum

Quote #4221 (+5) [ 2007-10-08, 10:41 ] [ + | - | X ]

[10:38] <@Wayne> FFS, I was attacked by a bird.
[10:38] <Chamelion> Lucky SOB.
[10:39] <@Wayne> When I was riding my bike from the service station after I had put some air in my tires, a magpie kept swooping me
[10:39] <@Wayne> It even had some goes at me with its claws.
[10:41] <Chamelion> Ohh, a bird bird.

Quote #1086 (+10) [ 2003-10-07, 03:21 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Preshus> holy crap, meatloaf is releasing a new cd
<Preshus> fuck he looks old now
<Erve> you took the words right out of my mouth
<Preshus> hahaha
* Preshus slaps Erve on the back and laughs
<Erve> it must have been while you were kissing me (he he)
<@Preshus> blahahaha
* Erve giggles
<@Preshus> I'd do anything for love but I won't do THAT
<Erve> doh!
<Erve> well 2 out of 3 ain't bad.

Quote #469 (+2) [ 2003-04-15, 23:38 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Quadbox> Nozz: I know a guy that lives in tasmania! What relation is he to you?
<Nozz> Cousin and boyfriend

Quote #1850 (+3) [ 2004-04-17, 11:37 ] [ + | - | X ]

<knowsfords> when you say the secret magic words you become super tired?
<Fod> yeah knowsfords, and me and the spottyman go to bed

Quote #2632 (+2) [ 2005-03-19, 22:28 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Syxx`> mind u atm id hit a $2 steak

Quote #753 (+5) [ 2003-07-09, 00:21 ] [ + | - | X ]

(Darkness): So, if i was to ban rocket, both of them would be quiet huh...
* Darkness rubs his chin in an interesting manner
* Lombers also rubs his chin
(Darkness): Lombers: Dude, that's my elbow. You can get out from under there now.
(Lombers): Darkness: your elbow?? I thought it was......errrmm, right
(Darkness): Heh, It isn't THAT cold, Lombers. :)

Quote #3879 (+4) [ 2006-12-21, 15:35 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Strange1> I can dream knowsfords
<knowsfords> grass is greener etc
* Joins: Rage
* knowsfords greens Rage's grass
<Rage> ...
<Rage> thats fucking disturbing dude

Quote #1295 (-1) [ 2003-11-09, 21:39 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Chief> socialogy - whats that
<bundy> Chief, its like psychology, but full of bullshit and ugly chicks
<Chief> oh
<bundy> yeah..
<Trav> mark an ugly chick to you is a hot chick to someone else, remember that
<bundy> yeah good point
<Chief> women who drive barinas that reckon they can help everyone in the world, an drink diesel and smoke comes out their ears? those type bundy
<bundy> yeah Chief. the ones that ask 400000 questions that have nothing to do with the subject. then fail badly and do it again the next semester
<bundy> then get kicked out of uni
<bundy> and then go to tafe and do a diploma of prostitution
<bundy> then live in ipswich

Quote #1238 (0) [ 2003-10-28, 19:24 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Strange1> :( My dinner consists of a small serving of chips. The meat pie exploded taking the plate with it lol
<Strange1> I just put my pie on for 10 minutes on high instead of defrost
<Strange1> it went hard and then exploded. Shattered the plate
<knowsfords> bahaha
<wild> lmao

Quote #3145 (+4) [ 2005-12-17, 13:11 ] [ + | - | X ]

<macmate> i need you to twiddle your thumbs with me
<macmate> i can't do it alone

Quote #4349 (+10) [ 2008-07-24, 15:21 ] [ + | - | X ]

<BFM> I wonder what Chuck Norris would do to probability?
<scon|work> Make it a certainty?

Quote #2766 (+10) [ 2005-05-19, 01:16 ] [ + | - | X ]

<eDust> it's going to be cold tonight
<eDust> oh wait, it's night already
<eDust> it's cold tonight

Quote #2646 (+1) [ 2005-03-25, 13:17 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Bangers> i go after high maintainnce girls so i gotta shop myer etc.
<David> haha Bangers
<David> fuck the high maintenance girls
<David> (forget them)
<cml> sif David
<Bangers> naa, more fun, more drama
<Bangers> my life is a jerry episode

Quote #36 (+1) [ 2002-10-28, 04:53 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Narcolepsy> I used to get a sore right wrist, but for some reason, but new chair fixed it...
<Narcolepsy> I guess I can sit at a better height now..
<VooDoo> swap hands Narcolepsy
<Narcolepsy> VooDoo: Changing hands is like a whole new woman...

Quote #1283 (+4) [ 2003-11-06, 14:54 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Wiz> couldnt be anymore fucked off with Telstra if they had fucked me off with a specially modified, overclocked and supercharged fucking-off machine

Quote #1496 (+10) [ 2004-01-09, 23:27 ] [ + | - | X ]

<m> "Penguins have extraordinary pooing powers, according to a team of scientists from a German university. They went to the Antarctic to study the creatures, and found they shoot their poo 38 centimetres from their nests. The scientists worked out the penguins' poo comes out at more than four times the force a human can manage"
<j> I see a new version of Tux Racer

Quote #4006 (+6) [ 2007-01-10, 13:12 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Turophile> All OCAU girls are from QLD or VIC.
<Talleh> You mean all the sluts?
<predder> where's Jessleep
<predder> WAKE UP!
<Jessleep> Here
<Stygian> lol
<Jessleep> what
<Turophile> LOL
<Jessleep> Oh.
<SgtMjrTank> lol
<predder> she called you a slut dammit fight or something
<Jessleep> All the sluts, right.
<Jessleep> predder: cant fight the truth, baby.
<predder> damn, I was hoping for more zing.

Quote #4224 (-6) [ 2007-10-10, 18:52 ] [ + | - | X ]

<outy> brodsta today tonight said it was different type of cows
<outy> they even showed a graph and a map!
<outy> a fucking map dude
<outy> A MAP!
<brodsta> Holy shit
<brodsta> I can't compete with that
<outy> how can you not trust someone who has a map

Quote #2019 (+13) [ 2004-05-31, 23:39 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Rage> i'm gonna write my application for floor supervisor up tommorow
<@Falkor> in?
<Rage> at work
<Rage> they're gonna promote more people
<eDust> to supervise the floor. you know, to make sure it doesn't stop holding things up, or start acting like a wall

Quote #2282 (+7) [ 2004-09-09, 05:15 ] [ + | - | X ]

(TensopAway): argh
(TensopAway): 120 watt amplifier + 94dB sensitive speakers + accidently leaving your amp on full volume + PC alarm clock = very, very very bad.

Quote #2883 (+2) [ 2005-07-16, 10:28 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Lombers> I have decided
<Lombers> I hate all PC places now
<Lombers> the problem is, they know nothing about customer service
<Lombers> because the people who started the good ones are pretty much geeks
<Lombers> and have no idea how to actually interact with people
<Lombers> sure they know their tech stuff
<Lombers> but that's about it
<Redback> what do they do when a girl wants to buy a new motherboard?
<Lombers> they premature ejaculate
<Redback> rofl
<pace> its not like i ordered a $15 modem
<Lombers> I know, and that's the problem
<Lombers> their problem is, they keep thinking to themselves that they will be able to get it in
<Lombers> instead of saying "look, I'll be conservative here, it'll take 2 weeks minimum"
<Lombers> then if they get it in earlier the customer would be like "omg that's the best service ever"

Quote #754 (+4) [ 2003-07-09, 07:38 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Dark_Razer> being a conjoined twin would suck pritty hard.
<Fodder> never get lonely.
<Fodder> and if you lose your carkeys, at least someone saw where you had them last

Quote #2966 (-3) [ 2005-09-03, 11:27 ] [ + | - | X ]

Koontz: wanna laugh?
Koontz: my pc has not been booting into the OS all week
Koontz: since the night of the storms
Koontz: without me interveening and selecting the boot device manually
Koontz: anyways i fixed it
Koontz: started by swapping ram in out
Koontz: FINALLY plugging the dvd drive back in to ide cable
Koontz: still no go
Koontz: so checked all bios settings
Koontz: yep all good
Koontz: few more resets
Koontz: you ready?
Koontz: sitting down?
Goose: nah im actually standing at my computer
Koontz: ........then I..........
Koontz: TOOK THE FLOPPY DISK OUT OF THE FLOPPY DRIVE!

Quote #3676 (+1) [ 2006-12-05, 17:24 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Lits> today i saw what looked like a chick giving her boyfriend a blowjob on a train station platform
<tensop> damnit.. need a job
<tensop> so fkn bored

Quote #426 (+1) [ 2003-03-27, 16:17 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Redback> News Just In!
<Redback> CNN/Reuters: News reports have filtered out early this morning that US forces have swooped on an Iraqi Primary School and detained 6th Grade teacher Mohammed Al-Hazar. Sources indicate that, when arrested, Al-Hazar was in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square and a calculator. US President George W Bush argued that this was clear and overwhelming evidence that Iraq indeed possessed weapons of maths instruction.

Quote #2052 (+2) [ 2004-06-10, 01:30 ] [ + | - | X ]

[Erve] ran out of alcohol :/
[Erve] :crisis:
[BenZ|iBook] lol
[BenZ|iBook] Find some potatoes and the nearest russian
[BenZ|iBook] Vodka ensues!

Quote #770 (+1) [ 2003-07-11, 04:17 ] [ + | - | X ]

(ernest): he can be shadow hymen affairs minister
(cSmith): haha
(Darkness): Isn't that like a priest?
(Darkness): Oh wait, boys don't have hymens.

Quote #1693 (+11) [ 2004-02-26, 10:44 ] [ + | - | X ]

<edj> last night i saw the most amazing shooting star
<edj> it was huge, not moving too fast
<edj> then after around 10 seconds, it broke into around 5 glowing pieces
<edj> then faded away
<Draffa_> then you went blind?
<Draffa_> and plants started taking over the world!
<echelon> edj: Jetstar's maiden flight

Quote #551 (+5) [ 2003-05-14, 22:48 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Lurks|awy> finally my fucking pay is in
<sabretooth> You got paid for fucking? I didn't know that you were in that industry.
<sabretooth> Though, it was suspected.

Quote #1839 (+7) [ 2004-04-15, 22:37 ] [ + | - | X ]

* Rik wonders what to cook his steak with
<brembo`> heat ?

Quote #1451 (+8) [ 2003-12-25, 22:14 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Rage> mmm, 2 hour walk with chicks > *
<Tommmo> how's your mum anyway rage ?

Quote #4247 (-3) [ 2007-11-23, 22:21 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Jessica> I get my gob stuffed full of cock rather often.

Quote #88 (+5) [ 2002-11-18, 11:31 ] [ + | - | X ]

* Chaos|Work inserts some torts into his ass.

Quote #2585 (+3) [ 2005-02-15, 21:47 ] [ + | - | X ]

<WhiteyAIR> browsing the internets from the comfort of my own bed.. I believe in heaven and truely this is it..
<WhiteyAIR> wireless > *
<TheWedgie> lol
<@knowsfords> WhiteyAIR: I'd actually say that snuggling under some blankets during winter is the best thing evar.
<WhiteyAIR> hmm.. you get negatives and positives with sharing bed space with a member of the opposite sex. I have yet to discover a negative to browsing in bed...
<WhiteyAIR> I haven't argued about something trivial with my powerbook yet
<WhiteyAIR> and it's never asked me how many women I have slept with before..

Quote #2611 (+7) [ 2005-02-25, 19:30 ] [ + | - | X ]

*** Nza has quit IRC (Quit: Apples and oranges aren't that different. Their weight is similar. They both contain acidic elements. They're both spherical. They serve the same purpose. With the exception of a tangerine, I can't think of anything more similiar to an orange than an apple.)
* Reaver hands Nza the Strangest Quit Message award

Quote #1917 (+10) [ 2004-05-04, 21:04 ] [ + | - | X ]

<@Crudmuffin> ooh, got our new couch btw.
<@Crudmuffin> leather > *
<Erve> skin on leather > *
<@DDsD> Skin > *
* @DDsD wiins

Quote #2837 (+6) [ 2005-06-22, 00:00 ] [ + | - | X ]

[@Ashley]: Oh, and I've got a three-tier sequential data recovery system.
[@Ashley]: Meaning I've got two computers and and a removable backup disk. I love the technoloyg names.
[@Warhamster]: or, a fish on a wire
[@Ashley]: Really?
* Warhamster uses his fish backup
[@Ashley]: How does that work?
[@Warhamster]: when the fish starts to smell, new backup

Quote #609 (+9) [ 2003-05-31, 13:31 ] [ + | - | X ]

(+CapnChron): I'm so stupid.
(+CapnChron): The phone rang.. I picked it up and put it to my ear...
(+CapnChron): Know what I just realised?
(+CapnChron): I forgot I was deaf

Quote #2584 (-2) [ 2005-02-14, 15:39 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Warhamster> Hi, my name's Warhamster, and I'm addicted to goatse.
<Warhamster> I first knew i was an addict when i dreamt about him

Quote #357 (+4) [ 2003-02-25, 08:57 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Milenko> Thor-Work: porn mags have contents?
<Thor-Work> yes they do
<Milenko> funny thing that, ive never noticed them
<V8> you buy magazines of pron and you have a net connection ?
<V8> weird
<V8> :P
<bh> v8 you can take the mags into the bathroom for a wack
<bh> computers are harder to take
<Milenko> oh yuck bh
<V8> oh um ok
<Milenko> we really needed to know that
* LoneWolf_ looks at his laptop
<LoneWolf_> :)

Quote #2608 (+9) [ 2005-02-25, 03:24 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Iroquois> Computers? In my day there were 150 of us using abacus in middle of 't road

Quote #1085 (-1) [ 2003-10-07, 02:27 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Three2go> ashley.. what are you getting me for my birthday??
<Three2go> ashley.. what are you getting me for my birthday??
<Three2go> ashley.. what are you getting me for my birthday??
<Three2go> ashley.. what are you getting me for my birthday??
<Tate> Three2go: STFU
<Three2go> :D
<Three2go> ashley.. what are you getting me for my birthday??
<Tate> I know what I'm getting you
<Tate> a nice cup of stfu

Quote #2305 (+9) [ 2004-09-28, 00:18 ] [ + | - | X ]

<thetron> Hopefully i can do some warsitting from my AP
<INerTIal> lol
<INerTIal> warsitting
<INerTIal> thas a new one
<INerTIal> i do warbussing and warcabbing occasionally
<thetron> It's not. It when you sit on top of a hill with a Panabonic aerial and point it in different directions
<INerTIal> panabonic>
<INerTIal> ???
<INerTIal> you mean parabolic
<thetron> yeh i get the para bit confused
<Agg> panabonic is when you point your erection in different directions
<INerTIal> lol
<thor--> :]
<JesterX> i did that once
<JesterX> spent the night in the slammer
<thor--> i did it not so long ago, didnt pick anything up unfortunatley ;)

Quote #1903 (+6) [ 2004-04-30, 22:36 ] [ + | - | X ]

<yaleman> something sucks more wang than me?

Quote #1843 (+3) [ 2004-04-16, 16:19 ] [ + | - | X ]

<MaNNy`G> RedBull
<MaNNy`G> know how to write a resignation letter?
<RedBull> yep
<RedBull> Dear Poofter
<RedBull> i hate you and i quit
<RedBull> the end
<RedBull> love MaNNy`G
<MaNNy`G> ^_^