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Quote #2184 (+2) [ 2004-07-24, 21:19 ] [ + | - | X ]

<tensop> Hmm.. there were 3.5 million crimes commited in south africa in 2000 :)
<G-Force> and 2004?
<tensop> the statistics are unavailble for 2004 G-Force, the statistics guy in south africa was carjacked on the way to work, so he had to catch a bus.. he was robbed 5 times while waiting for the bus, then the bus driver was murdered so he had to walk, on his way there he was assaulted 6 times and finally murdered

Quote #2197 (+2) [ 2004-07-27, 22:41 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Decker> No, this is sillyness..WOOHOOWOOPWHOOOP
<Cav> Decker: nah, thats just being gay
<yaleman> and boy, would cav know about that :)
<Decker> Cav: you should know.
<yaleman> haha
<Cav> wow, i didnt expect that!

Quote #2261 (+2) [ 2004-08-23, 01:21 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Slyde> my roomate has been having sex.
<Slyde> That's about as close to getting any as I have been in like 4 years.

Quote #2272 (+2) [ 2004-09-03, 02:27 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Darkash> but i ran out of light
<Darkash> so i had to leave it to tommorrow
<@Lartnec> heeey thats an idea, we could make some sort of lighting device that we could use when it gets dark
<@Lartnec> maybe some fire on the end of a bit of string
<@Lartnec> with soemthing.... lets say wax around it
<@Carl> Lartnec, will it have a TV?
<@Lartnec> I was thinking a mobile phone

Quote #2352 (+2) [ 2004-10-20, 23:15 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Agg> how do I invite oldz again?
<BenZ|iBook> /msg oldz join #overclockers
<Narcolepsy> /msg oldz join #overclockers
<TensopAway> /msg oldz join #overclockers
<voodooo> Agg /msg oldz join #overclockers
<Agg> hmm, maybe it's /msg oldz join #overclockers
<Agg> [23:09] -oldZ- Sorry, You must be logged in to use this command.
<Agg> lies!

Quote #2367 (+2) [ 2004-10-28, 20:13 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Netsork> What size are CDs these days, anyway?
<enigma> about 12cm I think
<mazzanet> 8cm
<enigma> oh, my bad
<enigma> hang on.
<enigma> mazzanet, get a ruler and a regular CD
<mazzanet> 8cm.
<enigma> mine are 12cm .. diameter?
<mazzanet> oh
<Netsork> 12 here, too.
<mazzanet> mine are 13.5cm
<enigma> 13.5cm?
<enigma> how the fuck do they fit in the drive?
<mazzanet> o_O
<mazzanet> oh heh
<mazzanet> this ruler has 0-1.5cm missing

Quote #2381 (+2) [ 2004-11-11, 21:33 ] [ + | - | X ]

* phextwin is now known as confused
* Statts is now known as bewildered
<confused> Together, we are bewildered & confused!
<bewildered> flabergasted wouldnt fit :(

Quote #2408 (+2) [ 2004-12-04, 08:47 ] [ + | - | X ]

<sabretooth> Yeah who's the nerd now!
<biatch> This is like pot calling the kettle black, huh?
<sabretooth> Miss MMORPG!
<biatch> Shut up, bitch.

Quote #2415 (+2) [ 2004-12-07, 23:55 ] [ + | - | X ]

<dec> hi Sciby
<dec> you sexy beast
<Sciby> Yes, I am. get off me.
<Norgs_> pfft
<Norgs_> you wish
<dec> no.
<dec> never!
<dec> i'll be on you til the day you die!
<dec> um
<dec> that didn't sound too good

Quote #2432 (+2) [ 2004-12-16, 11:20 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Nza> what were you doing in the us?
<Pengo1> working
<Pengo1> and traveling
<Rainwulf> picking up skans
<Rainwulf> skanks
<Pengo1> i won't lie and say i didn't enjoy myself
<Pengo1> i'm no player but having the aussie accent helped my pathetic chances
<Pengo1> :P
<Hyper[a]la> lol
<Pengo1> "Oh you sound just like Hugh Jackman and that crocodile man!"
<Rainwulf> hahaha
<Rainwulf> american chicks are suckers
<Rainwulf> apparently
<Pengo1> in more ways than one

Quote #2440 (+2) [ 2004-12-19, 13:03 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Iroquois> wicket!
<Iroquois> 2/34, target 564
<INerTIal> thanks Iroquois but if i wanted the score i'm sure there are a hundred or so websites will to give me it
<Reaver> thanks INerTIal, but if I wanted a smartarse i'd talk to One``
<Reaver> :)
<Draffa> lol
<INerTIal> gah
<Draffa> he's got you there INerTIal :D

Quote #2467 (+2) [ 2005-01-04, 20:52 ] [ + | - | X ]

* Agg changes topic to '<neolithic> some bitch was right up me <biatch> Better than re-stuffing when he gets fatter :P'

Quote #2507 (+2) [ 2005-01-16, 23:31 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Flora> So I want to make arrangements and what not
<Flora> How do I do that without a phone!?
<Lartnec> Carrier pigeon.
<Flora> I don't know their address :(
<Lartnec> Send alot of carrier pigeons

Quote #2537 (+2) [ 2005-01-25, 23:59 ] [ + | - | X ]

<@Falkor> i wore my gf's name badge for about 2 months
<@Falkor> "Jessica"
<@Falkor> but then we have this thing, mystery shopper
<@Falkor> were a person orders pizza and surveys us on it
<@Falkor> and on the form they put "Served by: Jessica description: Male, light build, brown hair, 5'10". I think he had the wrong name badge??"
<brembo`> lol
<@Falkor> and my boss laughed at me and told me to stop wearing it heh
<@Falkor> so i just stopped wearing a name badge
<@Falkor> people would go to complain about me "I'm going to complain about you... err.. ahh.. umm *looks for badge*" me: "whatever, go home."

Quote #2543 (+2) [ 2005-01-27, 22:37 ] [ + | - | X ]

<marvy\> my gf's friend got knocked up at 13, had the kid at 14, and the father was a 21y/o black guy, and he didnt get in troubloe AT ALL
<BenZ|Lapto> ...
<-- Yomamma has quit (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
<BenZ|Lapto> Nigga stole her virginity?
<BenZ|Lapto> *runs*
<fen> and her tv apparently..

Quote #2545 (+2) [ 2005-01-28, 18:03 ] [ + | - | X ]

<aftahours> Hadamona: Cos most of our customers are budget tightarses
<Hadamona> lol
<outonanisl> how tight?
<ace234> that got outonanisl interested
<aftahours> as tight as a nuns....
<outonanisl> see you next tuesday aftahours?
<aftahours> see you in a fire?

Quote #2549 (+2) [ 2005-01-30, 20:59 ] [ + | - | X ]

<BenX> who's sexy?
<David> me?
<BenX> unlikely

Quote #2563 (+2) [ 2005-02-04, 09:10 ] [ + | - | X ]

<i386> nko
<i386> I got my mac working yesterday
<nko> uber
<nko> is it pure sex in a box?
<nko> or is it average sex in a box
<nko> or not even sex, maybe something plain, like a handjob in a box
<nko> which, while still enjoyable, is not nearly as pleasurable as even average sex in a box

Quote #2567 (+2) [ 2005-02-05, 09:00 ] [ + | - | X ]

<mazzanet> i want a tribe of 30 south american monkeys.
<Mred32> Didn't you say you already had a large family?

Quote #2569 (+2) [ 2005-02-06, 15:33 ] [ + | - | X ]

<David> Flora you told him our secret? :|
<Flora> I'm sorry!
<David> :'(
<Flora> I blurted it out in a dream!
<David> I splurted it out in a dream also!
<Flora> rofl

Quote #2581 (+2) [ 2005-02-13, 00:06 ] [ + | - | X ]

<marv> Hey
<marv> I just got a new bed
<marv> and its stiff as, i hate it
<marv> do they get less firm over time?
<Iroquois> yes
<marv> good
<Iroquois> try jumping on it
<marv> Dont wanna break it
<Warhamster> hmmm i read that from the bottom up and that sounded... odd
<Iroquois> heh

Quote #2587 (+2) [ 2005-02-16, 21:19 ] [ + | - | X ]

* PoissonBot|akaHardy has joined #valhalla
<PoissonBot|akaHardy> can someone give me an xp VL key...
<TheWedgie> GOTOA-PCSTO-REAND-PAYFO-RIT!!
<TheWedgie> heh, that was much funnier while I was typing it.
<PoissonBot|akaHardy> whats the last two letters?
<TheWedgie> 11
<TheWedgie> my shift key was stuck.
<PoissonBot|akaHardy> doesn't work...
<PoissonBot|akaHardy> is it a VLK?
* The_Wookie slaps TheWedgie around with several types of marine creature
<TheWedgie> hang on PoissonBot|akaHardy
<PoissonBot|akaHardy> thanks
* PoissonBot|akaHardy is now known as Hardy
<TheWedgie> AREY0-USER1-0USLY-THI55-TUP1D
<TheWedgie> *sigh*
<Hardy> haha
<TheWedgie> finally clicked? :P
* Hardy forces a broom up TheWedgie's rectum

Quote #2591 (+2) [ 2005-02-17, 19:41 ] [ + | - | X ]

[ One`` ] my cars beginning to rust, even though i spray it with WD40

Quote #2592 (+2) [ 2005-02-17, 21:50 ] [ + | - | X ]

(LaNcE): what is it with this influx of cheap bar&plate intercoolers!
(Tensopaway): truck carrying intercoolers was hijacked by 4 people driving black honda civics with green underbody neons and kettle blow off valves
(FreeFrag): ROFL
(LaNcE): hahaha
(yale|nfsu2): lol

Quote #2622 (+2) [ 2005-03-10, 17:31 ] [ + | - | X ]

<D_Web> I probably shouldn't half defrost some chick and then put it back in the freezer
<Fod|Work> indeed
<Fod|Work> either bury her or leave her frozen

Quote #2632 (+2) [ 2005-03-19, 22:28 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Syxx`> mind u atm id hit a $2 steak

Quote #2633 (+2) [ 2005-03-20, 00:00 ] [ + | - | X ]

<danamania> spoob: if you listen really carefully through good equipment you can hear the steps in the waveform brought on by the existence of discrete quantum energy states.
<gelfie> dana: pfft you must be using some cheapo korean cd player

Quote #2647 (+2) [ 2005-03-25, 19:54 ] [ + | - | X ]

<n00dle> that was really wierd
<n00dle> i was having a ciggy in my usual spot
<n00dle> at the top of the street
<n00dle> and got to the house and dad is standing in front of the door
<n00dle> and im like 'oh fuck.'
<n00dle> he walks up to me and im like 'hi..'
<n00dle> and he motions for me to give him my hand
<n00dle> so i do
<n00dle> and he dumps something in my hand
<n00dle> and im like er... and he goes 'pretzels!'
<n00dle> and walks off
<n00dle> ...

Quote #2652 (+2) [ 2005-03-26, 18:23 ] [ + | - | X ]

·CapnChron· I met one of Yale's sister.
·Narcolepsy· Which one?
·CapnChron· Narcolepsy: I don't know which one.
·CapnChron· Tall one that is
·Narcolepsy· The whole fucking family is tall.
·Narcolepsy· The young one or the horse-lookin' one?
·CapnChron· The young one that looks like him
·Narcolepsy· And her legs are longer than her torso?
·CapnChron· I don't know, I didn't activate my perve mode

Quote #2663 (+2) [ 2005-04-02, 22:27 ] [ + | - | X ]

<yale> thetron: when you learn to spell, you can pick on people :)
<thetron> I can sell
<ace[work]> bwuhaha
<Lurks> omgooglies
<ace[work]> now thetron shutup before you make an even bigger arse of yourself :)
<yale> well, that proves my point entirely.
<yale> if you want, I can help you jam the other foot in your mouth :)

Quote #2695 (+2) [ 2005-04-19, 20:30 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Erve> phew, took 15mins but I got my rod off
<Erve> wait, I'll take a pic of how much play my rod end has

Quote #2696 (+2) [ 2005-04-20, 00:54 ] [ + | - | X ]

<thetron> Penis image alert on the forums!
<@Wolfy> quick thetron, look now before it gets deleted, then you can compare it with yours

Quote #2740 (+2) [ 2005-05-09, 21:58 ] [ + | - | X ]

<@D_Web> it looks like telstra is being stupid again
<@D_Web> irc is working but that's about it
<@D_Web> I'll be disconnected in a sec
* D_Web has quit IRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
* D_Web has joined #ugbox
<@D_Web> power cycled the modem
<@D_Web> should be ok for about 30 seconds
<@Falkor> WOOO
<@Falkor> TALK QUICKLY
<@Falkor> OMG D_Web how was your day?
<@Falkor> good? yes. cool. hows your mum?
<@Falkor> good? cool how was the weather?
<@Falkor> awesome! when are you buying a new car?!?
<@Falkor> tomorrow! WOOOOO!! YEAH!!
<@gords> heh
* D_Web` has joined #ugbox
* Z sets mode: +o D_Web`
<@Falkor> ahh shit.

Quote #2769 (+2) [ 2005-05-20, 09:01 ] [ + | - | X ]

<@CapnChron> I wanted hail last night
<%zyrorl> why capn?
<%zyrorl> get car fixed on insurance?
<@GM> so he could get stoned
<%zyrorl> rofl
<@GM> literely
<%zyrorl> haha
<@CapnChron> hahaha

Quote #2785 (+2) [ 2005-05-25, 19:04 ] [ + | - | X ]

<D_Web`> I'd imagine you're mre organised and have the ability to concentrate more than me (anyone does), so you should be fine
<TheWedgie> lol
<TheWedgie> dunno D_Web`, i'm pretty bloody disorganised, and lose concentra LETS GO RIDE BIKES

Quote #2809 (+2) [ 2005-06-02, 20:52 ] [ + | - | X ]

<wild`> TheWedgie: got a Q for you.. is there a way of telling if we have more than one exchange in dubbo? (I think there's only one, but my brother reckons there's another)
<TheWedgie> yeah
<TheWedgie> kinda
<eDust> ring up telstra and say "hey the dubbo exchange is on fire". if they ask which one, then you know there's more than 1
<wild`> lol
<FreeFrag> lol eDust
<Apok> lol
<Apok> go with edusts idea
<FreeFrag> You'll probably just get TheWedgie and he'll start laughing and ask for pictures
<wild`> rofl
<eDust> lol
<TheWedgie> ahaha

Quote #2832 (+2) [ 2005-06-19, 14:50 ] [ + | - | X ]

<the_squid> Eminoir!
<the_squid> i found the rubber cock!
<Eminoir> uh oh.... er..... i was curious?
<the_squid> :|
<the_squid> i also managed to escape the cop shop with a 5 star police rating
<the_squid> which was fun
<Eminoir> oh, gta, right
<the_squid> no this was IRL
<Eminoir> :|

Quote #2861 (+2) [ 2005-07-03, 20:00 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Skitzo> A Taiwan stock trader mistakenly bought $251 million worth of shares with a misstroke of her computer keyboard, meaning her company is looking at a paper loss of more than $12 million and she is looking for a new job.
<Skitzo> Hahahaha
<Quan-Time> err say what ?
<Quan-Time> how is that possible to "MISTAKE
<Quan-Time> OH FFS
<Quan-Time> fukin teyboard
<Eminoir> just like that :P

Quote #2883 (+2) [ 2005-07-16, 10:28 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Lombers> I have decided
<Lombers> I hate all PC places now
<Lombers> the problem is, they know nothing about customer service
<Lombers> because the people who started the good ones are pretty much geeks
<Lombers> and have no idea how to actually interact with people
<Lombers> sure they know their tech stuff
<Lombers> but that's about it
<Redback> what do they do when a girl wants to buy a new motherboard?
<Lombers> they premature ejaculate
<Redback> rofl
<pace> its not like i ordered a $15 modem
<Lombers> I know, and that's the problem
<Lombers> their problem is, they keep thinking to themselves that they will be able to get it in
<Lombers> instead of saying "look, I'll be conservative here, it'll take 2 weeks minimum"
<Lombers> then if they get it in earlier the customer would be like "omg that's the best service ever"

Quote #2896 (+2) [ 2005-07-24, 21:56 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Trenton> hey tim tim
<Eminoir> hello
<Trenton> i need ur assistance
<Trenton> aka. full help
<Trenton> i dont know how to setup thunderbird for gmail
<Eminoir> tried google?
<Trenton> how do i try google?

Quote #2914 (+2) [ 2005-07-30, 18:16 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Niche> u will know me cause im bald
<svga> to baldly go where no man has gone before.
<Brains> Didn't Jean-luc Picard already do that? :)

Quote #2913 (+2) [ 2005-07-30, 16:31 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Rage> i've got sexual magnetism in my pants
<brembo`> you've got the polarity set the wrong way though

Quote #2959 (+2) [ 2005-08-31, 06:09 ] [ + | - | X ]

Iroquois: bollocks
Iroquois: england win
outy: are you going to cry?
Iroquois: I already am. Don't mock me

Quote #2962 (+2) [ 2005-09-01, 17:52 ] [ + | - | X ]

--- VoX is now known as VeganZombie
<VeganZombie> GRAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSS........
--- VeganZombie is now known as VoX

Quote #3036 (+2) [ 2005-10-19, 22:28 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Jazarus> I want to stop looking at porn and go back to going to church
<Fred_Nurk> sure you do
<IKT> get a psp, do both at the same time

Quote #3051 (+2) [ 2005-10-28, 09:41 ] [ + | - | X ]

oli: any car knowledgable people here?
Grosby: what do you need to know about a car?
oli: ive got a car sitting in the driveway with a jack under one side, and two piles of bricks on the other
oli: a monaro
oli: :(
Grosby: You live in Ipswich?

Quote #3059 (+2) [ 2005-10-31, 20:46 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Junkz> a female call centre chick in india rang me tonight
<Junkz> and i ruined her lifge
<Junkz> i dont know where from
<Junkz> but she only wanted to take 40 seconds of my time
<Junkz> so before she started i said “can i ask a question first?”
<Junkz> she said yes
<Junkz> BIG MISTAKE
<Junkz> i ask “what colour panties are you wearing?”
<Junkz> silence for 10 seconds
<Crudmuffin> ROFL Junkz
<Junkz> “im sorry i cant answe that quiestion
<Junkz> so i say “oh ok... does that mean you arent wearing any panties today?”
<Crudmuffin> haha
<kermie> klif-e asked the exact same questions to the woman at the real estate agent today
<Junkz> 20 seconds of silence
<Junkz> then she gave me the end of call speel
<Junkz> so i hung up
<Junkz> poor girl
<Junkz> she shoulda told me what colour
<Junkz> then i would have entertained her

Quote #3071 (+2) [ 2005-11-07, 00:45 ] [ + | - | X ]

<outy> yes bullet, im so gay even my gay friends call me a poofter.

Quote #3171 (+2) [ 2006-01-05, 10:14 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Hunter> i prefer to think of them as attainable women, rather than ugly
<Hunter> shard, i only have a few selection criteria
<One``> I require there to be a hole for birthing, and hands for cooking.

Quote #3237 (+2) [ 2006-02-03, 01:23 ] [ + | - | X ]

<dec> is it sad if I go out and just 'admire' my car?
<dec> or peek at it through the window?
<dec> maybe i could just go and sleep in it tonight
<aftahours> lol
<dec> i was serious :(