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Quote #2644 (+1) [ 2005-03-24, 10:40 ] [ + | - | X ]

<One``> Hey guys, whats that pipe called that you swing aroung and it makes warbling noises?
<biatch> Penis?
<Dopefish> crack pipe?
<One``> ive never heard a penis warble

Quote #2857 (-2) [ 2005-07-01, 01:23 ] [ + | - | X ]

Ace: people say cocksucker like it's a bad thing

Quote #3310 (+6) [ 2006-04-01, 20:22 ] [ + | - | X ]

<D_Web> I accidently left a tube of heatshrink out in the sun today, and it shrunk :(

Quote #212 (+6) [ 2002-12-28, 11:18 ] [ + | - | X ]

<aftahours> whats those script things called were it says like everything in a movie. like what they say word for word..
<Forraje> a script
<^catalyst> DURH

Quote #1216 (+10) [ 2003-10-24, 23:36 ] [ + | - | X ]

<kas-> so gambino? you're into doing dj sets #on_the_dex in #sydney and #melbourne while having #sex with #teens in #macedonia ?
<RoSWeLL> hahahahahaa
<RoSWeLL> damn that is some good multitasking

Quote #4104 (+8) [ 2007-05-01, 21:53 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Jazarus> Results 1 - 10 of about 266,000 for 09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0. (0.09 seconds)
<Disko> Results 1 - 50 of about 17,400,000 for why are you spamming the channel?. (0.19 seconds)
<Danamania> Results 1 - 10 of about 65,200 for rubber tubing chicken goat porn. (0.10 seconds)

Quote #64 (+5) [ 2002-11-08, 06:55 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Rudeboi> zit just me or are the new nokia's getting more and more gay? : http://www.howardchui.com/images/reviewpics/expocomm2002/nokia6800-05.jpg
<SileNceR> Rudeboi - you're the only one getting more and more gay.
<Rudeboi> SileNceR: how did u know? ur sexy body just turns me on soo much
* Rudeboi goes and pukes after what he just said

Quote #299 (+2) [ 2003-02-03, 12:26 ] [ + | - | X ]

<biatch> Firemoth: You just assume i'm a chick
<Firemoth> biatch, should I assume otherwise? You certainly look like a chick in the photos on the forums.
<sabz> biatch: well if you show up at the BBQ with facial hair, I'll get worried.
<biatch> Just for you i'll make sure i shave it, sab ;)
<sabz> "Sorry... I can't go to the BBQ. Unforeseen circumstances."
<biatch> I'm sorry i couldn't come sab... i got the most severe shaving rash on my face that i've ever seen
<Firemoth> biatch, might want to use a more sensitive shaving cream next time.
<Firemoth> Just a thought.
<sabz> Firemoth knows - he had the same problem doing his bikini line.
<Firemoth> sabz, Wasn't my fault you didn't use the sensitive shaving cream on me like I asked you to.

Quote #2603 (+5) [ 2005-02-22, 13:33 ] [ + | - | X ]

<MonoAWAY> Hi! I'm Bram Cohen, the author of BitTorrent.
<MonoAWAY> I maintain BitTorrent for a living. This is my only job.
<MonoAWAY> Brian, you're gonna starve...
<MonoAWAY> *Bram
<Shawry> Hi! I am Brum, an obnoxious little british car. I have my own television series

Quote #275 (+2) [ 2003-01-20, 09:56 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Enfilade> I'm not a big fan of cars
<Cav> Enfilade: im not a big fan of anal sex, your point?
<Enfilade> What happened?
<Cav> Enfilade: someone forgot to use lube :(

Quote #1364 (+52) [ 2003-11-21, 20:42 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Draebor> next you'll be telling me they have phones in dubbo
<wild> of course not, I use messanger pigeons for the internet.
<Draebor> ahh
<Rik_> tell the fuckers to stop dropping packets on my cars paint

Quote #2700 (+4) [ 2005-04-21, 00:26 ] [ + | - | X ]

<the_squid> i hate having no job
<DarkNation> i hated having a job
<DarkNation> fkn every day after school for 4 hours
<the_squid> oh noes
<the_squid> woe is you
<the_squid> how did you manage having money
<DarkNation> so now ill be working teh weekends
<DarkNation> lol i loved having money
<Eminoir> boo fucking hoo
<DarkNation> i bought a fkn new computer in 3 months
<DarkNation> : P
* Eminoir hands squid a board with a nail in it and picks up a chain
<the_squid> not now em
<Eminoir> it's for him
<DarkNation> mwhaha
<Eminoir> asshat
<DarkNation> haha

Quote #2812 (+7) [ 2005-06-03, 16:12 ] [ + | - | X ]

<outonanisl> haha, people who dont realise what they are saying on msn
<outonanisl> Jess says:
<outonanisl> if you're bored, pack my shit
<outonanisl> im bored says:
<outonanisl> bend over then
<Agg> fascinating, do go on

Quote #4144 (+9) [ 2007-06-05, 16:53 ] [ + | - | X ]

<lolcat> Haikus are easy
<lolcat> But sometimes they don't make sense
<lolcat> Refrigerator

Quote #3444 (+7) [ 2006-07-11, 16:48 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Rainwulf> no, dell are a bunch of faggots
<Rainwulf> how redundant was that.
<Rainwulf> hows this.. bunch of sticks to the power of two
<Rainwulf> because a bundle of sticks is a faggot.
<Rainwulf> so a bunch of faggots is a bunch of a bunch of sticks. bunch squared sticks. what the fuck am i on.

Quote #1226 (+2) [ 2003-10-27, 14:16 ] [ + | - | X ]

* echelon throws a wrench at Saga
* Saga (remunerate@dsl-203-113-240-200.TAS.netspace.net.au) Quit (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
<Nozz> Oooer
<Nozz> you killed him
<Nozz> Must've got him fair in the head

Quote #614 (-1) [ 2003-06-01, 21:14 ] [ + | - | X ]

* Tate has quit IRC (Your father had your mother, your mother had your brother, it's just too bad your fathers mad, your mothers now your lover)
<FLoRa> That is one of the most fucked up quit messages ever.
<Hydra> and this one is too: [20:26] *** DoWnUnDeR Quit (I was raised by the tv and Jerry Springer was my brother, and my mothers cousin was the uncle of my sister's niece...)
<Greg> OMG YUCK
<FLoRa> ...
<FLoRa> That's some seriously whacked shit.
<Greg> lol
<Greg> i just fully grasped the grossness of that
<Greg> actually
<Greg> i still dont get the grossness of that saying
<Greg> im even drawing a diagram for it

Quote #2274 (0) [ 2004-09-04, 17:29 ] [ + | - | X ]

<tensop> stupid neighbours and their lack of understanding the laws of thermodynamics

Quote #1173 (+8) [ 2003-10-19, 07:28 ] [ + | - | X ]

(Enfilade): <reannah> Isn't that what a big sister does?
(Enfilade): <Enfilade> But the affection...
(Enfilade): <reanna> A big sister can give you cuddles.
(Enfilade): <riannah> :D
(Enfilade): <Enfilade> What about tender kisses?
(Enfilade): <riannah> Yes, on your cheek.
(CapnChroni): Eww
(CapnChroni): I do... Not.... neeed..... That.... sort..... of..... affection..... from.... my...... sister!
(Groomy): lol
(LordPie): can dish it out but can't take it eh CapnChroni?
(Narc|ZzZz): What if I want that sort of affection from your sister CapnChroni???
(Narc|ZzZz): *boom, tsssh*
(tensop): then you would have to get in the line behind CapnChroni, Narc|ZzZz

Quote #747 (+9) [ 2003-07-08, 00:04 ] [ + | - | X ]

<@NOFATCHIX> this nick is the best
<@NOFATCHIX> not 1 chic msgs me

Quote #3955 (+5) [ 2006-12-28, 07:48 ] [ + | - | X ]

<biatch> Still there, SPY?
<SPY> now it wont go back in my advance settings
<biatch> Yeah.... I know... You left a password off your router, and I added a default route on your router to point to an IP on your network that doesn't exist.
<biatch> ANd now you're not responding to ping.
>>>> SPY (SDFE@ppp231-35.lns3.syd7.internode.on.net) has quit [Read error: Connection reset by peer]
* biatch waves

Quote #1104 (+1) [ 2003-10-11, 19:39 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Rage> woot, japanese chef challange on SBS
<Rage> bbl
<Rage> :D

Quote #53 (+4) [ 2002-11-06, 01:12 ] [ + | - | X ]

<FreeFrag> Agg, what did I win?
<Agg> FreeFrag - you won a "kick in the nuts" voucher, redeemable at your nearest Agg outlet.
<Agg> (not exchangeable for cash)

Quote #966 (+11) [ 2003-08-29, 10:37 ] [ + | - | X ]

(wild): ah, nothing drowns out the taste of home brand pie better than tomato sauce.
(echelon): tomato sauce will drown out anything. Try it on siblings. Works wonders.

Quote #3090 (-1) [ 2005-11-14, 21:06 ] [ + | - | X ]

<echelon[A]> a Queenslander once asked me if we use the same currancy "all the way down there"
<echelon[A]> I said "No. Our coins have a head on both sides."

Quote #965 (+2) [ 2003-08-28, 23:00 ] [ + | - | X ]

<_3pb_> one of my (2) cats has like a retard ninja thing goin on
<_3pb_> its hell scared of shit and goes all commando and stuff
<_3pb_> i think its even killed a man

Quote #975 (+37) [ 2003-08-30, 21:20 ] [ + | - | X ]

<FreeFrag> You want spam agg? nps, hang ten.
<FreeFrag> www.gay-mailing-list.com
<FreeFrag> whoops, wrong window, soz
<Sleepy> hahaahhaaha
<Sleepy> FreeFrag, is there something ure not telling us?
<Sleepy> FreeFrag: funny thing is, you say wrong window but this is the only irc channel ure in lol
<FreeFrag> Sleepy, if I'm in a secret channel, it doesn't come up in a /whois </hint>
<Agg> FreeFrag on #overclockers @#dirtymansex
<FreeFrag> Agg, the scary thing is, if #dirtymansex is a secret channel, YOU have to be in there with me for it to come up in a /whois :o :o
<Agg> bitch.

Quote #1239 (+3) [ 2003-10-29, 01:54 ] [ + | - | X ]

(biatch): MadHatter - i'll refer you to gibbon for that answer :) So, Gibbon... was it hard? :)
(@Gibbon): at times

Quote #1379 (+13) [ 2003-11-26, 02:33 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Mred32> BWAAhhh My wife just came in with a cigarette and ashed into my last beer, thinking it was an empty can :(
<Mred32> I'd just opened it as well.
<FenrisOlf> hehehe.... ahhh, I feel for you man.
<FenrisOlf> marriage can be hard sometimes =(
<Mred32> :(
<Mred32> It tastes strange

Quote #1250 (+3) [ 2003-10-30, 16:19 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Dopefish> Has anyone had any problems with *Store name omitted to protect the innocent* before?
* VooDoo REFUSES TO COMMENT
<Dopefish> lol
<Quadbox> lol VooDoo
<Flecktone> ...
<Flecktone> :P
<echelon> Dopefish: Take that as a resounding yes

Quote #2388 (+5) [ 2004-11-14, 19:23 ] [ + | - | X ]

<FreeFrag> Not much quizzing in #quiz
<Quadbox> not much murder in #death, either
<FreeFrag> lol
<Krypt0n> not much to download in #juarez,mexico
<Krypt0n> heh

Quote #1546 (+6) [ 2004-01-21, 21:52 ] [ + | - | X ]

<D_Web> what do you call a mexian guy who's had his car stolen?
<D_Web> Carlos

Quote #2834 (+8) [ 2005-06-20, 17:32 ] [ + | - | X ]

<rodgrech> god damn my mum is a tight arse
<Gibbon> so tempting
<Agg> you find his mum's tight arse tempting?
<Gibbon> hey, you haven't seen his mum
<Agg> true enough :)

Quote #3612 (+18) [ 2006-10-23, 22:52 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Jessica> Agg: I only just saw your "ohmly" pun, and fuck you. I groaned.
<Agg> Jessica - pfft, you've got to stay more current than that.
<Jessica> OH GOD
<Agg> watt?
<aftahours> lol
<sabretooth> I'm here, I'm here
<Jessica> I'm vomiting groans all over the place.
<Agg> my work here is done.
<Agg> (potentially)
* thetron gives Agg a medal
<Jessica> Agg: One of my friends has the following to say
<Jessica> "I laughed really hard at the "watt". That was shockingly good."
<Jessica> me: "SHUT UP"
<Agg> hehe
<Jessica> him: "Sorry, I didn't mean to jolt you like that "
<Agg> tell him to stop arcing on about it.
<Jessica> Me too. People think I'm so down to earth, then bam. Puns.
<TheWedgie> bit of a humour brownout there Agg.
<sabretooth> Oh no.
<Jessica> People think I'm so down to earth, then bam. Puns.
<Jessica> ..yeah.
<Agg> yes, i had an alternate, but i decided to be more direct.
<Jessica> you two need to get a fucking room.
<sabretooth> Everyone, LOOK AWAY
<Jessica> "I'll be generating these things for a while"
<TheWedgie> i guess you could really socket to em though.
* Agg averts his gaze
<Jin-Jah> Agg you're a shocker
<sabretooth> The pun-o-meter's going off the scale
<Jessica> "He oughta be charged for that one"
<sabretooth> Ohh, very good. But GROAN.
<Jessica> "I mean, it had a lot of potential"
<TheWedgie> Jessica - still plugging away eh..
<sabretooth> Agg, she's starting to outpun you.
<Turophile> :)
<Agg> hey, i already used potential! you've blown it, buddy!
<sabretooth> The puns are discharging all over the place.
<Jessica> Really?
<Agg> what are you, anode?
* BTC chases the puns all over the place
<BTC> whoop whoop whoop
<sabretooth> Agg, it was induced out of me.
<aftahours> agg can't resist.
<Asteroid> well that sure sent the conversation flat
<Ashley> IRC: Outlet for insanity.
<sabretooth> I nearly diode.
<aftahours> lol
<TheWedgie> hahahaha
<Agg> it's ok, i've nearly discharged my capacity.
<Asteroid> ooh, resistance
<Turophile> IRC: Outlet of my insanity, inlet of others.
* aftahours steals agg's pot
<sabretooth> Hey I used discharge!
<Jin-Jah> nice triode at a final attempt there
<sabretooth> I'll have to pop a cap in yo ass.
<Asteroid> ooh subtly afta :)
<Agg> i blame Jessica. she LED us all astray.
<V8R[hm]> heh
<Jessica> alrighty
<Bern> YOU lot are revolting
<Asteroid> just cause Agg'solder than us!
<sabretooth> Clearly, she could have short circuited the whole thing and passed this whole mess
<thetron> Bern: Sorry mr sexy pants
<aftahours> <Asteroid> just cause Agg'solder than us! <-- lmao
<sabretooth> Bern: thetron wasn't energised by your pun, clearly.
<TheWedgie> you two sure are generating a lot of puns...
<Agg> we're all a bit excited.
<V8R[hm]> man, you guys are on fire.. my side hertz from the lol
* Shaun rocks out to AC/DC
<Shadey> lol
<Bern> sabretooth: his reply has left me flat
<Asteroid> i used that one
<BradR|Lap> heh
* V8R[hm] gives Bern a wave
* thetron wonders where the world is i386 camera 1 is now
<Agg> and i don't mean to be negative.. but i've got to go to the bank and repay what cathode.
* Asteroid sines out
* Agg bows out
* sabretooth sines a few autographs.
<Asteroid> stop being such squares
<Agg> don't be so inverse.
<BradR|Lap> heh
<V8R[hm]> this is looking terminal
<Cypher`> how far away is the bank as the CRO flys?
<V8R[hm]> lol
<Asteroid> i could cut the tension in here with a sawtooth
<Jin-Jah> hahaha
<BTC> The name is Baud......, James Baud...
<sabretooth> Agg, I don't like your conduct.
<V8R[hm]> try Asteroid, much HT in here
<BradR|Lap> some people are showing really odd sines in here
<BradR|Lap> im worried
<Agg> sabretooth - i'm not here to shroud you from interference.
<BradR|Lap> resistance is futile!
* Asteroid equips RF sheilding
<sabretooth> Agg, but I'll only be here faraday.
* Asteroid transforms
<BTC> Disinformation is not as good as datinformation
<Agg> sabretooth - put it away, fermi.
<Shadey> HAHA
<V8R[hm]> all your base, Asteroid...
<Asteroid> what you say?
<sabretooth> I'm feeling pretty polarised by the whole thing.
* Asteroid PICs up his socks
* Bern calls the coppers
<kelwyn> quit while youre still ahead, sunshine
<sabretooth> Bern: maybe they can amp it up a bit
<Turophile> I'll awp you.
<Bern> I'm sure they can trace the source of the breakout sabretooth
<sabretooth> Damn, I think I'm punned out.
<Shadey> haha
<TheWedgie> suffered a pun blackout sabretooth?
<falkor> sabretooth, i find that impossible to believe
<kelwyn> sabretooth, i told you to quit while you were ahead
<sabretooth> The whole thing's been rather electrifying.
<Bern> if you meditate you can recharge your pun bank
<Turophile> Asteroid: Difuse?
<Turophile> Asteroid: I'll Hue/Saturate you in a minute =
<Bern> follow after me... Ohmmmm, Ohmmm
<sabretooth> I'm quite fluxed.
<Bern> Solder on sabretooth, solder on
<sabretooth> That was used :p
<sabretooth> You shouldn't oscillate around the same words.
<kelwyn> sabretooth stop
<sabretooth> The way you flyback to the same old words just doesn't work!
<kelwyn> you;re getting painful to watch
<sabretooth> Gah!
<sabretooth> But the frequency of the puns is increasing!
<kelwyn> sabz, dont be that guy.
<sabretooth> hEMF. Okay, I'll stop.
* kelwyn stabs sabre

Quote #1724 (+2) [ 2004-03-05, 14:10 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Fod> well, what's more important, your education or your computer?
<Fod> (if you say education, i'll have option but to kick you)
<Fod> *no option
<Fod> jeez my english is shit today, i guess that's what you get for putting your computer ahead of your education :)

Quote #357 (+5) [ 2003-02-25, 08:57 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Milenko> Thor-Work: porn mags have contents?
<Thor-Work> yes they do
<Milenko> funny thing that, ive never noticed them
<V8> you buy magazines of pron and you have a net connection ?
<V8> weird
<V8> :P
<bh> v8 you can take the mags into the bathroom for a wack
<bh> computers are harder to take
<Milenko> oh yuck bh
<V8> oh um ok
<Milenko> we really needed to know that
* LoneWolf_ looks at his laptop
<LoneWolf_> :)

Quote #73 (0) [ 2002-11-14, 12:26 ] [ + | - | X ]

<FreeFrag> have you ever seen a c#nt wrapped in plastic?
<FreeFrag> then look at your drivers licence
<FreeFrag> :o
<FreeFrag> wrong channel!!

Quote #395 (+1) [ 2003-03-11, 23:24 ] [ + | - | X ]

<port80> anyone tried ming?
<Ycros> yeah she was good

Quote #4191 (+10) [ 2007-07-27, 17:59 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Wayne> I just got a parcel
<Ghoaty> is it sultanas?
<Gamma> bomb?
<Syxx`> white powder
<Wayne> It is a Dell battery, so the prize goes to Gamma

Quote #1464 (+1) [ 2003-12-29, 17:55 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Sim0n> oh dear god, if i ever lost my cable connection, i think id rather hang upself with the 56k modem cable than hook it up to the socket

Quote #2163 (+5) [ 2004-07-19, 22:01 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Agg> fsck.. some hardware guru i am
<Mnz|WRK> hehe, do tell the story Agg :)
<Agg> just been swapping video cards trying to find out why this testbed won't boot after being moved into a case i'm reviewing.. got it to boot into windows eventually, but it kept locking up, not responding to kb and mouse.
<Agg> but then, in this "locked up" state, it kept loading some other software..
<Agg> fscking mouse and keyboard in wrong ps/2 holes, grr

Quote #1612 (+6) [ 2004-02-09, 00:29 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Hunter> sif the red cross needs more donations, all they need do is ask fucking kerry packer to extract some blood from a stone

Quote #1822 (-1) [ 2004-04-12, 17:31 ] [ + | - | X ]

<CapnChron> My sisters were talking about past life with my mum and I blurted out to darcy
<CapnChron> "You know you could be a hooker in other life on some corner somewhere, I could be your client"

Quote #679 (+13) [ 2003-06-17, 22:24 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Agg> its PSU RAID5. the third PSU is for parity.
<mort> thankyou agg.
<mort> thank christ someone knows.
<Agg> no, someone's taking the piss.
<Agg> (me)

Quote #2626 (+6) [ 2005-03-15, 12:01 ] [ + | - | X ]

<brembo`a> goin to get my usb memory
<sickfordsy> I have some usb memory
<sickfordsy> the doctors said it was necissary or my brain will die.
<WhiteyFord> I cant wait until I have the option to plug a usb cord into my arm.. well.. firewire would be better.. but you cant win em all
<sickfordsy> isn't usb 2 faster?
<sickfordsy> and isn't gigabit ethernet faster than that?
<sickfordsy> I'd rather gbe.
<Falk|Work> Lets all just get fibre to our brains aye?
<sickfordsy> I wonder if I am tcp/ip compliant?
<sickfordsy> I was born before it was implemented I'm sure.
<TheWedgie> lol
<Crudmuffin> heh

Quote #1727 (+1) [ 2004-03-06, 18:24 ] [ + | - | X ]

<@zRoYz> do you think you can be arested for making your daughter draw you porn lol
<@zRoYz> she draws the best amie type girls
<@zRoYz> guys at school in art take her pics lol

Quote #650 (+2) [ 2003-06-10, 16:28 ] [ + | - | X ]

<snoopz> Bah
<deepspring> black
<z3[n]> sheep
<Quadbox> head
<Quadbox> on a plaque
<z3[n]> yes sir, yes sir
<Fodder> it's dead

Quote #1853 (+6) [ 2004-04-17, 22:03 ] [ + | - | X ]

<FreeFrag> * Nozzette is now known as Nozz <--another sex change funded by medicare >:-(
<Falkor> i NEED IT

Quote #2366 (-4) [ 2004-10-28, 17:50 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Rage> fuck i forgot to get beer on the way home
<Iroquois> panic!
<Agg> you fool, you'll kill us all!

Quote #3526 (-4) [ 2006-08-27, 16:37 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Agg> ok, now i'm totally fucked
<Agg> chainsawed + axed a couple of hardwood sleepers
* Agg has a shower and a nap
<AntiSciby> Old man Agg. :)
<VooDoo> i wouldnt say that Sciby
<AntiSciby> And why not?
<VooDoo> he has a chainsaw and an Axe......