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Quote #2693 (+5) [ 2005-04-18, 15:05 ] [ + | - | X ]

(Tensop`): but realisticly i want $3 trillion, not $20k.
(Tensop`): and then i'd buy a mitsubishi sigma
(Tensop`): hire the people who made the astron engine, fire them, and hire new people to redesign an astron engine

Quote #3314 (+10) [ 2006-04-04, 22:54 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Kingy> biatch - but there are plenty of things girls can't do.
<biatch> For sure.
<biatch> Like squish my spiders, Kingy
<Jessica> I don't squish spiders
<Jessica> I grab a chinese food container and take them outside :)
<biatch> I have serious deep-seated issues with spiders, Jessica
<Jessica> I like 'em.
<Jessica> Except redbacks they can just die
<biatch> I'd like to be able to take them outside, but the instant I see one I involuntarily go into serious panic mode
<biatch> I'd LIKE to be able to stay calm and think rationally
<biatch> But serious panic!
<Agg> biatch - the trick is to not think about them on you. don't focus on the feeling of the hairs on their thick legs brushing against your skin, the tiny gripping parts on the ends of their legs latching onto your flesh, their many reflective eyes watching your every move above broad, twitching, glistening fangs.
<Agg> then you'll be fine.
<TheWedgie> lmao Agg, you bastard
<saboteur> hahaha agg
<biatch> Thanks for that, Agg. :) I'll sleep well tonight!

Quote #3218 (+12) [ 2006-01-23, 20:38 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Falkor> imagine all the chicks getting screwed by american sailors now.
<eDust> every time a US ship comes into sydney i see girls practically throw themselves at them
<D_Web> there are plenty of women on that ship
<knowsfords> D_Web: they're probably out getting pussy too

Quote #709 (+4) [ 2003-06-29, 19:17 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Slidey> waa my mp3s are playing very sped up
<emp|crash0r> drugs are bad for you mkay?

Quote #991 (+2) [ 2003-09-02, 23:55 ] [ + | - | X ]

<druu> any cs freaks here..? when's cz coming out..?
<Agg> counter ztrike?
<druu> hehe..
<druu> cs:cz..
<Agg> Counter Strike: Camping Zone?

Quote #1094 (+7) [ 2003-10-09, 05:14 ] [ + | - | X ]

* echelon grabs Nozz's boobs
<Nozz> Hope you like 'em hairy echelon.
<echelon> :licklips:

Quote #108 (+4) [ 2002-11-20, 11:15 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Goofy[HSK]> that games too hard
<Firemoth> Which game?
<Erve> "the game of life"
<Firemoth> I came close to Level 3 :(

Quote #295 (+11) [ 2003-02-02, 08:12 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Pa|2anoiD> hey fellas, what can i do to fix an "explorer error" ?
<Agg> buy a mac

Quote #589 (+1) [ 2003-05-23, 11:32 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Rik_> now I have my gf's ebay login, I can impulse buy as much as I want :s

Quote #3527 (+4) [ 2006-08-29, 00:54 ] [ + | - | X ]

·Recharge· omfg... an entire thread in whirlpool optus without fanbois telling everyone that optus is perfection... ok, I expect the world to end any time now....
(..quit..) outy [outonanisl@c210-49-250-58.ipswc1.qld.optusnet.com.au] (Read error: Connection reset by peer) [12:59am]
·Willay· lol bai bai OUTY :P
•Fragwizard• LOL thats ironic

Quote #878 (+3) [ 2003-08-11, 14:39 ] [ + | - | X ]

<sabretooth> So er, do you massage bums, bumassager?
<biatch> would you massage my bum?
<sabretooth> I will!
<bumassager> no
<bumassager> and
<bumassager> no
<bumassager> its a nick
<Erve> with my leg :wiggle eyebrows:
<bumassager> dou actually have a sabre tooth??
<bumassager> and are u a female dog?
<bumassager> i think not
<sabretooth> Well, yes.

Quote #657 (+18) [ 2003-06-11, 23:59 ] [ + | - | X ]

<RoSWeLL> weird name Lady^Lettuce howd u come up with it ?
<Lady^Lettuce> well i used to work at kfc when i was younger and coz we got so bored all the time, we used to be silly and name each other after the food there..i was lady lettuce, some of my friends were betty bacon, ziggy zinger etc (crappy i know, but we were bored!!)
<RoSWeLL> lol u must live a interesting life now .. do u still know betty bacon ?
<Lady^Lettuce> haha yeh
<Lady^Lettuce> i work at maccas now (only part time) but havn't come up with any names!
<Lady^Lettuce> :P
<Lady^Lettuce> betty bacon turned out to be a lesbian
<Phix> betty didn't like the meat
<Xochi> she went the fillet o fish eh?
<RoSWeLL> LOL

Quote #1267 (+1) [ 2003-11-02, 22:54 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Rik> ROFl, one of my mates fucked a chick with no arms
<WhiteyFord> what really Rik?
<WhiteyFord> thats odd
<WhiteyFord> no hand jobs :(
<Rik> yeh, he's in the Navy, he's done alot of fucked shit
<FreeFrag> :o
<Rik> he was telling me, he did her doggy style on the beach and was going hard, and when he finished, he had almost buried her head since she couldnt keep it above sand
<WhiteyFord> did she have arms before they started fucking?
<WhiteyFord> ROFL
<Falkor> lol she has no arms, and heres mike worrying about not getting a hand job :)
<FreeFrag> ROFL!
<WhiteyFord> ahahahahahahahahhahaa
<Falkor> hahaha
<knowsfords> heh.
<WhiteyFord> thats the most horrible funny thing i have ever heard

Quote #1586 (+4) [ 2004-02-03, 19:22 ] [ + | - | X ]

* Erve is now known as Erve|run
<Rik_> you've got the runs?
<Rik_> :s
<Erve|run> yup, need to exercise my fatty arse
<Rik_> wipe 2 3 4
<Rik_> wipe 2 3 4
<Rik_> and flush
<Rik_> and flush
<Rik_> and flush
<Rik_> and flush
<Rik_> now pickup your pants and get moving!
<Erve|run> and push that plunger

Quote #2809 (+3) [ 2005-06-02, 20:52 ] [ + | - | X ]

<wild`> TheWedgie: got a Q for you.. is there a way of telling if we have more than one exchange in dubbo? (I think there's only one, but my brother reckons there's another)
<TheWedgie> yeah
<TheWedgie> kinda
<eDust> ring up telstra and say "hey the dubbo exchange is on fire". if they ask which one, then you know there's more than 1
<wild`> lol
<FreeFrag> lol eDust
<Apok> lol
<Apok> go with edusts idea
<FreeFrag> You'll probably just get TheWedgie and he'll start laughing and ask for pictures
<wild`> rofl
<eDust> lol
<TheWedgie> ahaha

Quote #2676 (+10) [ 2005-04-11, 22:04 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Cija__> Omgooglies!
<Cija__> I just saw an ad for a 98% fat free cat food.

Quote #2295 (+14) [ 2004-09-21, 13:44 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Mred32> The other night, I pulled up to a stop sign and waited for it to turn green...sitting there...waiting..waiting, for about a minute before I realised that this stop sign was not going to turn green.
<Mred32> Silly me.

Quote #3173 (+7) [ 2006-01-06, 14:24 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Narcolepsy> In the interim, I will eat.
<Narcolepsy> It'll fill in time, and the hole in my stomach.
<Narcolepsy> OMG!
<Narcolepsy> THERE'S A HOLE IN MY STOMACH!
<Narcolepsy> Oh, wait, metaphorical.
<Narcolepsy> nm, calm down.
<Narcolepsy> The boredom goes *POW*

Quote #2332 (+6) [ 2004-10-15, 01:10 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Agg> hangon, they charge you for the sauce? bastards.
<predder> like 30 cents!
<Agg> damn those capitalist swine.
<GFORCE> sup Agg
<Agg> I don't even know what it's supposed to mean. What's up? Nothing's up, I'm sitting in irc, wtf is up with you, homey-g dawg bro nizzle-shizzle bizniatch?
<GFORCE> Hey Agg whats cracking?
<Agg> removing copyright-protection from software, GFORCE.
<Agg> that's what cracking is.

Quote #3249 (+1) [ 2006-02-11, 22:41 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Narcolepsy> wangbat? Sounds like that sort of device could do some serious damage to a man's....manhood.
<Dopefish> are there such things as 1.66ghz centrinos
<Narcolepsy> What about neutrinos?
<Erve> my cpu is a neural net processor
<Erve> a lurning computer
<Narcolepsy> lurning, hey?
<Narcolepsy> Perhaps it should lurn how to speel.

Quote #1998 (+5) [ 2004-05-25, 19:56 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Fod> Tasmanians are great dancers, they might have two left feet but they have two right arms to balance it out

Quote #2479 (+17) [ 2005-01-09, 13:04 ] [ + | - | X ]

* Joins: Fod
<knowsfords> and thats how Fod joined #ugbox
<knowsfords> the end.
<Fod> oh i love this story

Quote #415 (+8) [ 2003-03-22, 20:25 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Dedge> has anyone heard of moby towing?
<Frosty> is that where you get a whale and tow it behind your boat?
<Dedge> haha
<Dedge> that's what the company is called
<Frosty> so theres a company that specialises in moving fat pieces of blubber?
* Frosty looks at his sister

Quote #1431 (+3) [ 2003-12-09, 23:37 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Hunter> grandfather's bugle sounds like a euphemism
<element> for penis
<element> you have to blow SO hard
<element> and keep your lips tight
<MonoJoker> that's rank
<element> im being serious thats how you play it
<Hunter> should i be worried that you know all this
<Manaz> About your grandfather's penis, no less...
<element> tighter your lips=higher the sound
<Manaz> When you bite too hard, he screams?
<Hunter> lol
<william> rofl
<element> when i tighten my lips too much :
<Manaz> So you don't use your teeth on him? How considerate of you... :/
<Hunter> haha

Quote #3171 (+2) [ 2006-01-05, 10:14 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Hunter> i prefer to think of them as attainable women, rather than ugly
<Hunter> shard, i only have a few selection criteria
<One``> I require there to be a hole for birthing, and hands for cooking.

Quote #800 (+4) [ 2003-07-18, 00:52 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Skitzo> /msg nwatts yeah i know.. i told you.. hes great in bed ;)
<Skitzo> fuck

Quote #4091 (+9) [ 2007-04-25, 15:15 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Dopefish`> I've only heard of it happening a few times and one story involved ecstasy taking and going crazy with about 8 liters of water or so
<LemMinG> good old dihydrogen monoxide
<Wayne> hydroxic acid
<Wayne> hydrogen hydroxide
<Tabris> sky juice :P

Quote #4033 (+1) [ 2007-02-03, 12:09 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Tao> i appear to be getting stpudier as a i get older.

Quote #464 (+9) [ 2003-04-14, 01:19 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Draffa> it's sad. When I was 14/15/16, the hottest women were 25. Now that i'm 25, the hottest girls are 14/15/16 :(

Quote #2885 (+3) [ 2005-07-17, 13:39 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Cycle> Can 2 routers connect to each other?
<shift> that's how the internet works.

Quote #3259 (+7) [ 2006-02-15, 14:00 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Teddybear> <outy> ffs i spend at least 16hours a day on irc, i can comprehend anything <-- You cultivate deep understanding like eskimos cultivate sweet pineapples

Quote #3558 (+2) [ 2006-09-20, 00:39 ] [ + | - | X ]

<thetron> Will[A]y: Well i have no mobile. Only a Skype line :)
<Will[A]y> thats totally useless but ok :)
<@Agg> how forward-thinking of you :)
<@Agg> unless you want to leave your house at any point.

Quote #4054 (+7) [ 2007-03-12, 20:00 ] [ + | - | X ]

<outy> Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"
<MonoJoker> fish are stupid, it was probably a weir

Quote #102 (+11) [ 2002-11-20, 06:02 ] [ + | - | X ]

<GooSE> wtf is FC?
<wild> fucking clue?
<GooSE> maybe
<GooSE> I am a bit of a dumbshit

Quote #2769 (+3) [ 2005-05-20, 09:01 ] [ + | - | X ]

<@CapnChron> I wanted hail last night
<%zyrorl> why capn?
<%zyrorl> get car fixed on insurance?
<@GM> so he could get stoned
<%zyrorl> rofl
<@GM> literely
<%zyrorl> haha
<@CapnChron> hahaha

Quote #2531 (+8) [ 2005-01-24, 18:20 ] [ + | - | X ]

<praetorian> yes, i seriously hate moving pixels by hand, very bad on the back.
<Chris> scott, you're not funny, try to work with that information and use it to your (and our) advantage.

Quote #2866 (+7) [ 2005-07-07, 20:06 ] [ + | - | X ]

<BenZor> thetron- did a moron talk? yes you. SHUT UP fuckwit.
<thetron> :P
<Erve> it's funny, cause it's ironic

Quote #1853 (+6) [ 2004-04-17, 22:03 ] [ + | - | X ]

<FreeFrag> * Nozzette is now known as Nozz <--another sex change funded by medicare >:-(
<Falkor> i NEED IT

Quote #1877 (+6) [ 2004-04-26, 18:32 ] [ + | - | X ]

<\Roscoe\> Does anyone use the PIPE news servers for binaries?
<Rage> thats just a fancy way of saying "how do i download warez from pipe?" :P

Quote #1361 (+3) [ 2003-11-19, 23:10 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Matthew> ffs
<Matthew> dads looking at porn again
<Trav> like father like son

Quote #414 (+1) [ 2003-03-21, 18:30 ] [ + | - | X ]

(Wolfy): grow up all of you, or i'll ban you
* nEoLIthIc watches the weapons of mass kickage immerge
(Wolfy): nEoLIthIc, it seems that mass kickage dont work, so a nice polite warning, will have to sufice
(Scandrew): give them 48hours to grow up, if not, kick them
*** Scandrew was kicked by Darkness (Target of opportunity- (Kick : 181)

Quote #347 (+6) [ 2003-02-22, 02:02 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Immo_G> morrowind isn't about good or evil, or adventuring
<Immo_G> its about making money
<Immo_G> and killing people standing around, and stealing all their clothes
<Immo_G> and leaving a long trail of naked dead people in your wake

Quote #3241 (+1) [ 2006-02-05, 13:33 ] [ + | - | X ]

* zendagger just got back from buying a fridge
<Tom> now thats a sign of maturity
<Tom> comes a time in young mans life when he says fuck it I need to by some white goods

Quote #937 (+3) [ 2003-08-20, 17:21 ] [ + | - | X ]

<rodgrech> SHIT FIRECALL BRB
<Zoidburg> firecall?
<Nza> voluntary fire service?
<Erve> either that or too much chilli
<Draemad> lol
<nEoLIthIc> lol

Quote #4122 (+2) [ 2007-05-19, 11:31 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Narcolepsy> Porn isn't illegal, indeed. You're allowed to have a couple of porn mags at RAAF recruits (rules apply, but anyway), yet they won't let the navy keep anything remotely pornographic at Cerberus.
<Narcolepsy> No wonder the navy's a little...funny.
<brodsta> lol
<Torched> a little strange
<enigma> lits-hp: starcraft3 rts ftw!
<deepspring> rofl
<Torched> a little...queer
<Draffa> In the Navy...

Quote #3612 (+18) [ 2006-10-23, 22:52 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Jessica> Agg: I only just saw your "ohmly" pun, and fuck you. I groaned.
<Agg> Jessica - pfft, you've got to stay more current than that.
<Jessica> OH GOD
<Agg> watt?
<aftahours> lol
<sabretooth> I'm here, I'm here
<Jessica> I'm vomiting groans all over the place.
<Agg> my work here is done.
<Agg> (potentially)
* thetron gives Agg a medal
<Jessica> Agg: One of my friends has the following to say
<Jessica> "I laughed really hard at the "watt". That was shockingly good."
<Jessica> me: "SHUT UP"
<Agg> hehe
<Jessica> him: "Sorry, I didn't mean to jolt you like that "
<Agg> tell him to stop arcing on about it.
<Jessica> Me too. People think I'm so down to earth, then bam. Puns.
<TheWedgie> bit of a humour brownout there Agg.
<sabretooth> Oh no.
<Jessica> People think I'm so down to earth, then bam. Puns.
<Jessica> ..yeah.
<Agg> yes, i had an alternate, but i decided to be more direct.
<Jessica> you two need to get a fucking room.
<sabretooth> Everyone, LOOK AWAY
<Jessica> "I'll be generating these things for a while"
<TheWedgie> i guess you could really socket to em though.
* Agg averts his gaze
<Jin-Jah> Agg you're a shocker
<sabretooth> The pun-o-meter's going off the scale
<Jessica> "He oughta be charged for that one"
<sabretooth> Ohh, very good. But GROAN.
<Jessica> "I mean, it had a lot of potential"
<TheWedgie> Jessica - still plugging away eh..
<sabretooth> Agg, she's starting to outpun you.
<Turophile> :)
<Agg> hey, i already used potential! you've blown it, buddy!
<sabretooth> The puns are discharging all over the place.
<Jessica> Really?
<Agg> what are you, anode?
* BTC chases the puns all over the place
<BTC> whoop whoop whoop
<sabretooth> Agg, it was induced out of me.
<aftahours> agg can't resist.
<Asteroid> well that sure sent the conversation flat
<Ashley> IRC: Outlet for insanity.
<sabretooth> I nearly diode.
<aftahours> lol
<TheWedgie> hahahaha
<Agg> it's ok, i've nearly discharged my capacity.
<Asteroid> ooh, resistance
<Turophile> IRC: Outlet of my insanity, inlet of others.
* aftahours steals agg's pot
<sabretooth> Hey I used discharge!
<Jin-Jah> nice triode at a final attempt there
<sabretooth> I'll have to pop a cap in yo ass.
<Asteroid> ooh subtly afta :)
<Agg> i blame Jessica. she LED us all astray.
<V8R[hm]> heh
<Jessica> alrighty
<Bern> YOU lot are revolting
<Asteroid> just cause Agg'solder than us!
<sabretooth> Clearly, she could have short circuited the whole thing and passed this whole mess
<thetron> Bern: Sorry mr sexy pants
<aftahours> <Asteroid> just cause Agg'solder than us! <-- lmao
<sabretooth> Bern: thetron wasn't energised by your pun, clearly.
<TheWedgie> you two sure are generating a lot of puns...
<Agg> we're all a bit excited.
<V8R[hm]> man, you guys are on fire.. my side hertz from the lol
* Shaun rocks out to AC/DC
<Shadey> lol
<Bern> sabretooth: his reply has left me flat
<Asteroid> i used that one
<BradR|Lap> heh
* V8R[hm] gives Bern a wave
* thetron wonders where the world is i386 camera 1 is now
<Agg> and i don't mean to be negative.. but i've got to go to the bank and repay what cathode.
* Asteroid sines out
* Agg bows out
* sabretooth sines a few autographs.
<Asteroid> stop being such squares
<Agg> don't be so inverse.
<BradR|Lap> heh
<V8R[hm]> this is looking terminal
<Cypher`> how far away is the bank as the CRO flys?
<V8R[hm]> lol
<Asteroid> i could cut the tension in here with a sawtooth
<Jin-Jah> hahaha
<BTC> The name is Baud......, James Baud...
<sabretooth> Agg, I don't like your conduct.
<V8R[hm]> try Asteroid, much HT in here
<BradR|Lap> some people are showing really odd sines in here
<BradR|Lap> im worried
<Agg> sabretooth - i'm not here to shroud you from interference.
<BradR|Lap> resistance is futile!
* Asteroid equips RF sheilding
<sabretooth> Agg, but I'll only be here faraday.
* Asteroid transforms
<BTC> Disinformation is not as good as datinformation
<Agg> sabretooth - put it away, fermi.
<Shadey> HAHA
<V8R[hm]> all your base, Asteroid...
<Asteroid> what you say?
<sabretooth> I'm feeling pretty polarised by the whole thing.
* Asteroid PICs up his socks
* Bern calls the coppers
<kelwyn> quit while youre still ahead, sunshine
<sabretooth> Bern: maybe they can amp it up a bit
<Turophile> I'll awp you.
<Bern> I'm sure they can trace the source of the breakout sabretooth
<sabretooth> Damn, I think I'm punned out.
<Shadey> haha
<TheWedgie> suffered a pun blackout sabretooth?
<falkor> sabretooth, i find that impossible to believe
<kelwyn> sabretooth, i told you to quit while you were ahead
<sabretooth> The whole thing's been rather electrifying.
<Bern> if you meditate you can recharge your pun bank
<Turophile> Asteroid: Difuse?
<Turophile> Asteroid: I'll Hue/Saturate you in a minute =
<Bern> follow after me... Ohmmmm, Ohmmm
<sabretooth> I'm quite fluxed.
<Bern> Solder on sabretooth, solder on
<sabretooth> That was used :p
<sabretooth> You shouldn't oscillate around the same words.
<kelwyn> sabretooth stop
<sabretooth> The way you flyback to the same old words just doesn't work!
<kelwyn> you;re getting painful to watch
<sabretooth> Gah!
<sabretooth> But the frequency of the puns is increasing!
<kelwyn> sabz, dont be that guy.
<sabretooth> hEMF. Okay, I'll stop.
* kelwyn stabs sabre

Quote #762 (+6) [ 2003-07-10, 18:01 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Greg> i am so fucking pissed off now
<Greg> and i cant remember why :(

Quote #1442 (+45) [ 2003-12-15, 01:42 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Tensop> trojan scanners dont work Firemoth
<Firemoth> ?
<Tensop> last week, i walk into my room and theres this big fucking wooden horse in the middle of my room

Quote #2321 (+1) [ 2004-10-05, 19:00 ] [ + | - | X ]

<em> you're not supposed to talk about who you vote for
<GrrrRich> em - you what?
<dr_red> you can if you want, em
<em> its a secret ballad for a reason
* Bas compose election ballad
<mike> ballad :~)
<dr_red> just make sure you keep it a secret, Bas

Quote #1283 (+5) [ 2003-11-06, 14:54 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Wiz> couldnt be anymore fucked off with Telstra if they had fucked me off with a specially modified, overclocked and supercharged fucking-off machine