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Quote #1935 (-1) [ 2004-05-08, 15:27 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Snufkin`> ..I just had a guy come in and ask if I sell car immobolisers, I'm sitting here surrounded by headphones and across the road is a shop with a bigass 10m x 10m sign saying STOP CAR THEFT, IMMOBILISE NOW sign.. why did he come in here?

Quote #900 (+10) [ 2003-08-13, 23:24 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Erve> How does a prepubesent teenager have xeons?
<Erve> oh he's in Hobart
<Erve> he got his sister to pay him for sex, that explains it
<Erve> :redface:

Quote #3555 (-1) [ 2006-09-17, 15:02 ] [ + | - | X ]

<dgtlmoon> Freenode founder Rob Levin has died.
<alex-kun> and Hans Reiser killed his wife. All in the same week!
<koshua> She's not missing. She's just unreferenced.
<pizzathief> you think she got garbage collected ?
<pizzathief> dumped on a heap, so to speak

Quote #2769 (+2) [ 2005-05-20, 09:01 ] [ + | - | X ]

<@CapnChron> I wanted hail last night
<%zyrorl> why capn?
<%zyrorl> get car fixed on insurance?
<@GM> so he could get stoned
<%zyrorl> rofl
<@GM> literely
<%zyrorl> haha
<@CapnChron> hahaha

Quote #2593 (+6) [ 2005-02-17, 22:15 ] [ + | - | X ]

<aftahours> just wait for adsl to be activated Agg :D
<Agg> aftahours - I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR 15 MONTHS!!!
<Agg> aherrrm.
<Agg> calm blue ocean, calm blue ocean.. with lag.. graarrghh
<aftahours> ahahaha

Quote #4006 (+7) [ 2007-01-10, 13:12 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Turophile> All OCAU girls are from QLD or VIC.
<Talleh> You mean all the sluts?
<predder> where's Jessleep
<predder> WAKE UP!
<Jessleep> Here
<Stygian> lol
<Jessleep> what
<Turophile> LOL
<Jessleep> Oh.
<SgtMjrTank> lol
<predder> she called you a slut dammit fight or something
<Jessleep> All the sluts, right.
<Jessleep> predder: cant fight the truth, baby.
<predder> damn, I was hoping for more zing.

Quote #2775 (+5) [ 2005-05-20, 18:35 ] [ + | - | X ]

<@Chuggy> You know over in toronto or some place in North America. The coppers there found out that in a case of 100 rapes, 80% of them were done by people who where star trek fans. Or fans of that kind of genra thingo.
<@Sciby> Really?
<@Chuggy> yeah
<@Sciby> I like Star Trek.
* @Dee eyes Sciby
* @Sciby takes off his pants.

Quote #1991 (+9) [ 2004-05-22, 18:20 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Manaz> I wouldn't trust ANUS Probe as far as I could stand the pain

Quote #4255 (+10) [ 2007-12-18, 21:45 ] [ + | - | X ]

<enigma> flatmates and I are discussing religion, purgatory, atheism, monotheism etc. i _think_ there is a word to describe a place without anything else, i've heard it referred to as something like "a grey place where the gods can go get lost" or something. is there a word, when discussing religion, that describes such a place?
<Stalhein> Dubbo?
<brodsta> hahahahah

Quote #95 (+7) [ 2002-11-19, 06:36 ] [ + | - | X ]

<trent> sabretooth: you should know i only turn up in here when something is broken

Quote #1606 (+6) [ 2004-02-08, 15:21 ] [ + | - | X ]

<j> At Microsoft, we need the best programmers. Only virgins need apply. We attribute the numerous security flaws in Windows to programmers who have gotten laid. Our studies show that one blow job is responsible for an average of seventeen buffer overflows. Be pure and join our team.
<c> I make it a rule not to have sex while programming

Quote #3124 (+18) [ 2005-12-06, 21:17 ] [ + | - | X ]

<FreeFrag> How on earth do I disable this spawn of fucking satan bullshit called the office clipboard - I want to COPY and then PASTE - I dont want this shit to think for itself and remember by last 73 fucking copies then paste the wrong fucking thing JESUS CHRIST MICROSOFT JUST MAKE IT EASY
<BBQ_69> FreeFrag, it looks like your writing a letter..

Quote #1061 (+2) [ 2003-10-03, 12:21 ] [ + | - | X ]

< Thor > !kb kal
- - - - - - - mode +b *!*a_kal_a@*.EC677355.1DE52FAA.IP ( mesaana )
<<----------- Kal was kicked: ( Requested) ( mesaana )
< Thor > :)
- - - - - - - mode -b *!*a_kal_a@*.EC677355.1DE52FAA.IP ( Thor )
*** Kal has joined #disease
<Gadfly> Lol
<Kal> :P
* Kal shouldn't be kicked
<Gadfly> Hurts the rump!

Quote #3594 (+4) [ 2006-10-13, 00:09 ] [ + | - | X ]

<pcweirdo> benz and bolex, sitting in a tree, C-T-C-P-I-N-G. first comes ping, then checking version, then comes a baby in the baby carriage...

Quote #2726 (+11) [ 2005-04-29, 19:25 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Rage> what can i say? i'm a dirty dirty corporate whore

Quote #3147 (+9) [ 2005-12-17, 19:00 ] [ + | - | X ]

[18:59] <David> any of you nerds talk to jessica this morning before she left for the lan?
[18:59] <David> mention anything about stealing my fucking mouse?
[19:00] <moda> lol
[19:00] <FreeFrag> <MeowMix> I bloody hate David....he's a fucktard.....I'm going to steal his mouse, that'll teach him.
[19:00] <FreeFrag> Yeah.
[19:00] <David> are you serious?
[19:00] <moda> lol
[19:00] <FreeFrag> I thought she was a little harsh, but *shrug*
[19:00] <yaleman> lol
[19:00] <Grosby> rofl
[19:00] <David> okay.. are you kidding? :p
[19:00] <David> because i have a whole array of revenge material here
[19:00] <FreeFrag> No seriously, I just looked up my logs dude.
[19:01] <David> *looks at her laptop*
[19:01] <David> show me the log :p
[19:01] <Grosby> steal it!
[19:01] <Grosby> aww lookit da ugwee widdle face
[19:01] <Grosby> n da hand aww
[19:01] <moda> ...
[19:01] <FreeFrag> <MeowMix> If he comes in later, tell him that he's never getting this mouse again, and even if he does get it he wont want it *puts somewhere rudez0r*
[19:01] <Grosby> up her clacker
[19:02] <David> oh great
[19:02] <David> did she mention specifically where it is?
[19:02] <Grosby> up her clacker
[19:02] <FreeFrag> Let me look....
[19:02] <David> maybe she might find her shit out on the footpath when she gets back? :p
[19:02] <Grosby> am I being too crass?
[19:02] <FreeFrag> Lot of talking in between her lines
[19:02] <David> what time was this btw FreeFrag?
[19:03] <FreeFrag> <MeowMix> No seriously guys, I've had enough of him, the least I should do is steal his mouse...he'll never find it.
[19:03] <FreeFrag> David, no timestamps :(
[19:03] <David> yeah i could sell it to you ocau nerds
[19:03] <David> okay FreeFrag you've had your fun :p
[19:03] <David> i call bluff
[19:03] <FreeFrag> I call gullibility factor = *VERY HIGH*

Quote #1461 (+5) [ 2003-12-28, 16:20 ] [ + | - | X ]

<mazzanet> Agg-: oh and i need a cronjob
<FreeFrag> dont be rude :o
<Agg-> jeez, you could at least buy me dinner first

Quote #968 (0) [ 2003-08-29, 16:01 ] [ + | - | X ]

<RoSWeLL> LOL ahahahah sister got her tongue pierced i told her you wont be able to talk by today she didnt believe me now she is complaining while im laughing in her face trying to listen to her speak
<Bipdehone> ouch what does her tongue look like atm?
<Bleeter> lol
<Bipdehone> can u see?
<Bipdehone> is it bloated?
<Bipdehone> Well?
<Sponge> swollen
<Sponge> ?
<Bipdehone> question really is how swollen
<Sponge> like a penis full of viagra
<RoSWeLL> lol its huge

Quote #2540 (+5) [ 2005-01-27, 16:02 ] [ + | - | X ]

[ vanguard- ] *you must be this tall to ride the netsplit*

Quote #212 (+7) [ 2002-12-28, 11:18 ] [ + | - | X ]

<aftahours> whats those script things called were it says like everything in a movie. like what they say word for word..
<Forraje> a script
<^catalyst> DURH

Quote #2342 (-4) [ 2004-10-18, 11:27 ] [ + | - | X ]

<ernest> and now a small flashy object has grasped my attention, so i don't care any more

Quote #2834 (+7) [ 2005-06-20, 17:32 ] [ + | - | X ]

<rodgrech> god damn my mum is a tight arse
<Gibbon> so tempting
<Agg> you find his mum's tight arse tempting?
<Gibbon> hey, you haven't seen his mum
<Agg> true enough :)

Quote #4065 (+1) [ 2007-03-21, 05:58 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Zardoz> Worst. Sleep. Evar.
<Zardoz> Also not to mention I had dreams of 4chan
<Zardoz> I had fucking 4chan in my dreams
<Zardoz> /b/ no less
<Lurks> to ugbox with that

Quote #1939 (+6) [ 2004-05-09, 00:49 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Fod> the coke bottle defeated me
<Fod> so i cut the bastard open with a carving knife
<Fod> coke never tasted so good

Quote #1750 (+6) [ 2004-03-18, 22:48 ] [ + | - | X ]

<JunkzZzZzZ> im gonna go get laid! :P
<sabretooth> Junkz, leave Sticks alone!

Quote #227 (+8) [ 2003-01-04, 04:38 ] [ + | - | X ]

<l00b3r> LIFE SUCKS
<Forraje> life is what you make it.
<l00b3r> lol
<l00b3r> I made life shit...
<Forraje> nice work

Quote #2887 (+4) [ 2005-07-20, 11:06 ] [ + | - | X ]

[ Hagfish]: sleeping at work for 20 minutes sounds like polyphasic sleep to me
[ grelli]: oh
* grelli shrugs
[ grelli]: I was tired
[ grelli]: I'm waiting for XP to install
[ Hagfish]: you wake up from a dream world, to a nightmare

Quote #2883 (+2) [ 2005-07-16, 10:28 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Lombers> I have decided
<Lombers> I hate all PC places now
<Lombers> the problem is, they know nothing about customer service
<Lombers> because the people who started the good ones are pretty much geeks
<Lombers> and have no idea how to actually interact with people
<Lombers> sure they know their tech stuff
<Lombers> but that's about it
<Redback> what do they do when a girl wants to buy a new motherboard?
<Lombers> they premature ejaculate
<Redback> rofl
<pace> its not like i ordered a $15 modem
<Lombers> I know, and that's the problem
<Lombers> their problem is, they keep thinking to themselves that they will be able to get it in
<Lombers> instead of saying "look, I'll be conservative here, it'll take 2 weeks minimum"
<Lombers> then if they get it in earlier the customer would be like "omg that's the best service ever"

Quote #2246 (+5) [ 2004-08-16, 20:16 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Nozz> I wonder if it's any coincidence that two of the women in the women's shooting atm are named "Suzanne"
<_DDsD> At least it isn't the weightlifting and their name's "John"

Quote #787 (+10) [ 2003-07-15, 23:38 ] [ + | - | X ]

<RoMe`O> my dad filps out knowin dat im goin out wit a girl
<RoMe`O> its like he wants me to b gay

Quote #1154 (+6) [ 2003-10-18, 14:42 ] [ + | - | X ]

<whiteb> i wish I had zoom on my camera
<kas-> just buy a broomstick handle
<kas-> and attach the camera to the end
<whiteb> LOL
<kas-> :)
<kas-> that's great zoom!

Quote #3011 (+3) [ 2005-10-04, 14:15 ] [ + | - | X ]

ˇ@Aggˇ * bradrogers wonders when google will take over the air they breathe <-- the air will be free, but every 5th breath will carry an ad for ebay

Quote #145 (+1) [ 2002-12-09, 12:40 ] [ + | - | X ]

* HyDrA[sad] is now known as HyDrA[zzz]
<Anarki> HyDrA[zzz]: nice to see you've cheered up :)
<HyDrA[zzz]> yeh, i'm real fucking happy.
<Anarki> cool :)
<Anarki> sweet dreams.
* Anarki backs away slowly
<HyDrA[zzz]> (sarcasm meter was way off the scales then)
<Anarki> (do i have dumbass printed on my shirt?)
<Anarki> :)
* Indef nods.
<HyDrA[zzz]> yes
<HyDrA[zzz]> moron.

Quote #2563 (+3) [ 2005-02-04, 09:10 ] [ + | - | X ]

<i386> nko
<i386> I got my mac working yesterday
<nko> uber
<nko> is it pure sex in a box?
<nko> or is it average sex in a box
<nko> or not even sex, maybe something plain, like a handjob in a box
<nko> which, while still enjoyable, is not nearly as pleasurable as even average sex in a box

Quote #1990 (-1) [ 2004-05-22, 14:01 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Lombers[A]> firefox is good, but it becomes annoying when it can't render all pages properly
<Lombers[A]> and yes, I know it's in development
<aftahours> yeh i know Lombers[A]
<aftahours> like asus pages
<Lombers[A]> or pioneeraus
<neolithic> whirlpool forums
<aftahours> yeh
<TheWedgie> or windowsupdate... LOL
<Lombers[A]> rofl

Quote #650 (+1) [ 2003-06-10, 16:28 ] [ + | - | X ]

<snoopz> Bah
<deepspring> black
<z3[n]> sheep
<Quadbox> head
<Quadbox> on a plaque
<z3[n]> yes sir, yes sir
<Fodder> it's dead

Quote #2529 (+7) [ 2005-01-23, 16:16 ] [ + | - | X ]

<David> *poof*
<Skitzo> Whoah
<Skitzo> David finally came out of the closet.
<David> yeah I was just getting a shirt
<Fragwizard> LOL
* Fragwizard falls over.

Quote #4001 (-3) [ 2007-01-08, 00:28 ] [ + | - | X ]

* FunkyBob is now known as unkyBobF
* unkyBobF is now known as nkyBobFu
* nkyBobFu is now known as FunkyBob
<Foole> spin cycle?

Quote #756 (+9) [ 2003-07-09, 21:13 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Jab> anything interesting of late VooDoo ?
<VooDoo> seems LCD screens are all the rage atm
<VooDoo> and USB products
<VooDoo> oh.. and penis and BALLS enlargements
<Agg> larger balls so you can sit on them more often? sounds great
* VooDoo wonders how Agg sits to be able to say "more often"
<Soc> you've never sat on em before?
<Soc> I have. it hurts.
* VooDoo gets sick thinking about it
<Jab> Soc ? You have sat on Agg's Balls ?
<Soc> Jab: of course. I've hit them with a rubber mallet too.
<Agg> only the once, we were both drunk, we've talked about it and it meant nothing

Quote #72 (+9) [ 2002-11-13, 05:43 ] [ + | - | X ]

<jamesob> http://www.au.store.yahoo.com/davidandkarma/midjetblacca.html <- Anyone got one of them and know if the legs are detatchable?
<PooJou> jamesob: had a girl like taht back where i used to live, its annoying for a while, till she tells you exactly what you want to hear
* PooJou wins
<jamesob> PooJou: what was hat exactley :D
<Rage> poojou, err, her legs were detachable??

Quote #3312 (+7) [ 2006-04-04, 16:56 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Grosby> Why doesn't Agg get kicked for excess caps?
<Agg> Grosby - why does God do bad things sometimes?

Quote #4190 (+4) [ 2007-07-22, 16:03 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Stygian> USB guitar is incredibly vague.
<Stygian> Wow! Signal output to USB! What a revelation!
<QSC> Stygian: why dou always have to have such a negative attitude
<Stygian> QSC: Because there's really nothing to get excited about?
<QSC> Stygian: Get a girlfriend, she'll help you
<Stygian> I have a positive output on things when it's due.
<Stygian> Also. Who the christ are you to make assumptions on whether or not I have a girlfriend?
<QSC> oh dude it's obvious.
<Radar_> Touchy subject, make it less obvious man
<Stygian> Oh? And how is it obvious?
<fen> ok now its really obvious
<Stygian> Radar_: I'm not denying that I don't have one.
<Shaun> HOW DO U KNO IM 12
<QSC> your online persona smells heavily of basement dwelling virgin
<Stygian> Heh.

Quote #1147 (+2) [ 2003-10-16, 20:40 ] [ + | - | X ]

<D_Web> I'm eating icecream off a plate with a fork because the dishwasher didn't go through last nigh
<D_Web> t

Quote #1592 (+6) [ 2004-02-04, 18:06 ] [ + | - | X ]

[@Agg] the worst thing about looking for pool table accessories on ebay is you also get pool accessories. like men's speedos. with pictures on the items listing page.
[orlock] Agg: try snooker :)
[@Agg] pooltable pooltable cue cue lights pooltable GENITALS

Quote #2377 (-1) [ 2004-11-09, 18:39 ] [ + | - | X ]

* Sticks just spent 10 mins playing with Knoppix-STD
<Sticks> it runs real nice on my desktop :)
<Postal> is that a new "dick and pussy disease"
<Postal> habib says condoms stop that

Quote #2555 (+7) [ 2005-02-01, 19:51 ] [ + | - | X ]

<llamaboy> msn sux, theres no emoticon for :\

Quote #221 (0) [ 2003-01-01, 04:05 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Carrots> my mouse has cheese grease all over it... sorta nice
<Foos|Food> Carrots: I assume you mean your computer mouse
<Foos|Food> otherwise im worried you are getting all "richard gere" on us.

Quote #3891 (+2) [ 2006-12-22, 09:40 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Frost|work> Draffa|a: I tried dating a girl 3 years younger than me a little while ago, NEVER AGAIN
<noel-fjord> Frost|work: she stole your crayons?
<Frost|work> noel-fjord: worse, my blankey :(

Quote #2575 (+4) [ 2005-02-10, 13:05 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Woob> zing.
<DJStudd> zong
<DJStudd> Is that a borg version of Ping? Pong!
<DJStudd> ?
<Wildhorse> star trek nerd
<DJStudd> rofl, I've never watched a full episode in my life
<Wildhorse> bullcrap
<Wildhorse> you have watched several with me
<Wildhorse> and how about the time you came and saw it at the movies
<Wildhorse> and that nemesis dvd you had/have
<Tatey> pwned

Quote #3276 (0) [ 2006-03-04, 11:17 ] [ + | - | X ]

<WedgieAFK> sure you can do without it, it's still a 'want' rather than a 'need'
<@Laninoir> like anal
* eraserwk its a need