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Quote #327 (+7) [ 2003-02-13, 04:06 ] [ + | - | X ]

<sabz> The funny thing is... Firemoth always goes ":("
<Firemoth> I do not :(

Quote #1330 (+2) [ 2003-11-14, 22:28 ] [ + | - | X ]

<biatch> Good luck trying to fit a girl and a wedding dress in am mx5 :)
<biatch> I barely fit!
<biatch> sab has plenty of room though :)
<gords> my sis is petite =)
<Fod> so is sab

Quote #4377 (+3) [ 2013-12-08, 22:24 ] [ + | - | X ]

<bfm> Got results from the specialist this morning. Great news, in that the tests concluded that I don't suffer from a rare-rare condition which would exacerbate my rare condition!
<Toje> congrats, eat some bacon
<Toje> so what does that mean BFM?
<bfm> That eating bacon could kill me.
<bfm> =/

Quote #162 (+26) [ 2002-12-14, 05:11 ] [ + | - | X ]

<FreeFrag> Agg, I'd like to lodge a formal complaint about your Administrator sabretooth as he has harassed me this night.
<Agg> FreeFrag - I'd like you to stfu n00b. :)

Quote #547 (+5) [ 2003-05-14, 00:13 ] [ + | - | X ]

<mnkymajik> my datasecurity assignment sounds like a bad porn movie script
<mnkymajik> "Louise is able to perform a spoofing attack...."
<Rex-Out> haha

Quote #2184 (+4) [ 2004-07-24, 21:19 ] [ + | - | X ]

<tensop> Hmm.. there were 3.5 million crimes commited in south africa in 2000 :)
<G-Force> and 2004?
<tensop> the statistics are unavailble for 2004 G-Force, the statistics guy in south africa was carjacked on the way to work, so he had to catch a bus.. he was robbed 5 times while waiting for the bus, then the bus driver was murdered so he had to walk, on his way there he was assaulted 6 times and finally murdered

Quote #3176 (-3) [ 2006-01-08, 07:17 ] [ + | - | X ]

iro: I'm not convinced about this whole morning concept.

Quote #4156 (0) [ 2007-06-09, 00:47 ] [ + | - | X ]

<deepspring> when you are stuck in sydney's peak hour traffic everyday sitting next to a doof doof or a ricer with one of these canons
<Hunter> Dopefish: coke is only good with cheap whisky/ey
<Hunter> deepspring: try living where i live mate
<deepspring> the low drone and noise really gets to you
<Hunter> every 2nd fucker has a howitzer on the arse end of their car

Quote #2730 (+8) [ 2005-05-01, 18:47 ] [ + | - | X ]

<fen> how about a color laserjet 4000?
<fen> so you can print out your porn in high quality...
<Ashley> I'm not into hard copy porn.
<fen> takes too long to burn hey ash?
<fen> if you print it onto tissue paper you can use it to clean up afterwards.. (and i can't beleive i just said that)..

Quote #1508 (+5) [ 2004-01-11, 22:44 ] [ + | - | X ]

<knowsfords> I wonder how much it'd cost to get a pair of jeans legs shortened
<brembo`> less than it'd cost to get leg extensions

Quote #2584 (-1) [ 2005-02-14, 15:39 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Warhamster> Hi, my name's Warhamster, and I'm addicted to goatse.
<Warhamster> I first knew i was an addict when i dreamt about him

Quote #1558 (+2) [ 2004-01-27, 16:00 ] [ + | - | X ]

<jimx> haha, some guy wants to know how to fix his malfunctioning floppy drive. i'm tempted to tell him to swap it with one from a work pc :)
<jimx> asking "How do I fix this floppy drive" is like asking "How do I re-use this staple?"

Quote #826 (+14) [ 2003-07-29, 22:06 ] [ + | - | X ]

<DrillSGT> Nice to see everyone complaining when I am in the chanell .......
<Fodder> drillsgt sucks.
<DrillSGT> thanks Fodder :P
<Lurks> Fodder swallows
<Fodder> anytime
<Fodder> damnit

Quote #1830 (+5) [ 2004-04-14, 03:54 ] [ + | - | X ]

(Tensop): dear lord, please let me get adsl, if you shall grant me this request i shall kill 100 people in your name
(Tensop): amen

Quote #2578 (+13) [ 2005-02-11, 11:38 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Fod|Work> Fod's illustrated guide to social awkwardness:
<Fod|Work> so we went to see a mate's band play last night
<Fod|Work> after the set, we were standing around having a few beers when i saw this little kid out of the corner of my eye
<Fod|Work> so i turned round and yelled "HEY! YOU AREN'T EIGHTEEN!!"
<Fod|Work> (as you do)
<Fod|Work> it was a midget.

Quote #571 (+5) [ 2003-05-17, 20:43 ] [ + | - | X ]

<z3n|A> w0t! daredevil-DivX.avi turns out to be pr0n!!!
<deepspring> hehehe
<z3n|A> if i keep getting fake files like this im gona loose my dick and turn into a hairy monster soon
<Bam> lol z3n|A
<Bam> good porno?

Quote #1868 (+1) [ 2004-04-23, 10:18 ] [ + | - | X ]

<ace234> fucken hell who keeps giving my email out to 12 and 13 year old girls
<ace234> 6 people have added me in the last 10mins and they are all 12 and 13:S
<Erve> well, treat them like new wine, put them in the cellar for a few years..
<Srebmol> yeah, but if you keep them longer than that they turn to vinegar :P

Quote #2060 (+4) [ 2004-06-16, 20:42 ] [ + | - | X ]

<FreeFrag> I'd love a segway, for that "Look at me I'm an all out nerdy geek and there's not one thing you can do about it" look

Quote #237 (+9) [ 2003-01-09, 06:48 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Pengo> VooDoo: nice one, what sort of job
<VooDoo> i now work at www.surpass.com.au
<klif-e> VooDoo: http://www.surpass.com.au/ doesn't even work, i think your imagining it
<wild> works here
<VooDoo> and here
<Lurks> and here
<Lith> ditto
<klif-e> oh stfu all of you ;P
*** klif-e (~klif@---.iinet.net.au) Quit

Quote #1473 (+4) [ 2004-01-04, 19:23 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Tensop> sabretooth is a trained quake whore
<Erve> -quake
<aftahours> rofl Erve
<Erve> j/k j/k j/k * eleventybillion

Quote #1527 (+2) [ 2004-01-15, 22:22 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Fod|Lego> "The CX Registry has shut off the goatse.cx domain suddenly and without warning."
<Draebor> lol goatse got fucked over
<Erve> now that's obvious Draebor
<Erve> (i.e. the gaping hole in his anus)

Quote #1817 (+5) [ 2004-04-10, 21:43 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Narcolepsy> I can think of SO many games that need co-op modes...
<Redback> sex games in particular

Quote #1994 (+8) [ 2004-05-23, 15:41 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Banks> how much is it for a 30 dollar recharge?

Quote #423 (+3) [ 2003-03-26, 15:57 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Leigh> my keyboard is fucking weird, i turn it upside down, give it a shake and pubes fall out

Quote #2493 (+10) [ 2005-01-14, 09:22 ] [ + | - | X ]

<knowsfords> carrot, lettuce, tomator
<Crudmuffin> you say tomator, i say tomato

Quote #50 (-1) [ 2002-11-05, 03:39 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Cav> cant sleep, sodomising storm arse goblins are out to get me!
<Rudeboi> cav: apparently they read bash.org and smokeyou.org, and didn't want a 'used' arse
<Cav> hey, your just jealous cause im younger and have been laid more by the storm goblins :P

Quote #873 (-3) [ 2003-08-10, 23:22 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Narcolepsy> sabretooth has no halo...
<Narcolepsy> He does, however, have a turbo. mmm, forced induction..
<biatch> Yep. Gets my motor running >:P
<Rik> gets your motor running, then forces it in, getting harder and harder
<Narcolepsy> Rik: And always hotter. And faster...
<Rik> until it blows Narcolepsy!
<@sabretooth> Interesting analogy
<Narcolepsy> Blown head gasket = milky emulsion. The imagery is horrible...

Quote #4193 (-1) [ 2007-07-29, 18:24 ] [ + | - | X ]

[18:23] <Sunset> The Best of U2 is actually good music to cry to.
[18:23] <Dopefish> errrrrr
[18:23] <mazzanet> er
[18:23] <sabretooth> Should I ask why you're crying?
[18:23] <mazzanet> Sunset: which best of?
[18:23] <mazzanet> there's 2 :P
[18:23] <Wayne> Because she is listening to U2
[18:23] <Sunset> just stuff.
[18:23] <Dopefish> because shes listening to u2
[18:23] <Dopefish> hahaha
[18:23] <Sunset> 1990-2000
[18:24] <angelessw> and now we're all gonna cry
[18:24] <mazzanet> :P
[18:24] <mazzanet> the other is 1980-1990 btw
[18:24] <Sunset> btw it's NOT hormone related. I'm sick of guys automatically assuming that a teary girl = PMS.
[18:24] <Sunset> ah okay
[18:24] <sabretooth> ... nobody mentioned hormones?
[18:25] <Agg> lol
[18:25] <mazzanet> guys automatically assume teary girl = pms?
[18:25] <knowsfords> stop generalising men Sunset, its so sexist.
[18:25] <Agg> i'm sick of PMS-grumpy girls assuming that guys assume that a teary girl = PMS.

Quote #834 (+4) [ 2003-07-31, 19:53 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Craig> ye i wish, i'm buggered...
<Vood-Sick> who did that to ya
<Vood-Sick> buggered ya i mean.
<Vood-Sick> :D
<Craig> work did
<Vood-Sick> what.. all of em
<Vood-Sick> you must be sore :)
<Redline> lol
<Craig> i'm not getting it
<Vood-Sick> seem you already got it

Quote #2851 (+2) [ 2005-06-27, 10:52 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Radar> Heh, our goldfish have been sexing each other
<outonanisl> lol
<outonanisl> how can you tell ?
<Mnz|WORK> the male's smoking, the female has a disappointed look on her face...

Quote #4047 (+2) [ 2007-03-03, 15:46 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Agg> ocau's forums are basically just one big guestbook for my blog.

Quote #4144 (+9) [ 2007-06-05, 16:53 ] [ + | - | X ]

<lolcat> Haikus are easy
<lolcat> But sometimes they don't make sense
<lolcat> Refrigerator

Quote #2882 (+7) [ 2005-07-16, 01:05 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Eminoir> i got my formal photos in the mail yesterday
<Eminoir> came with a big slip with DO NOT SCAN OR PHOTOCOPY THESE IMAGES OR WE WILL CRY
<Eminoir> or words to that extent
<Ultima> 0.o
<Ultima> Did you scan them?
<Eminoir> i will
<Eminoir> once i find a scanner
* Ultima waits for cops to burst in as soon as Eminoir start scanning
<Eminoir> oh noes!
<Eminoir> then i can say
<Eminoir> "I was framed!"
<Ultima> ...
<Eminoir> :D

Quote #2197 (+1) [ 2004-07-27, 22:41 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Decker> No, this is sillyness..WOOHOOWOOPWHOOOP
<Cav> Decker: nah, thats just being gay
<yaleman> and boy, would cav know about that :)
<Decker> Cav: you should know.
<yaleman> haha
<Cav> wow, i didnt expect that!

Quote #1566 (+3) [ 2004-01-29, 03:37 ] [ + | - | X ]

<wh0re> shoudl I have a bat or go to sleep
<Ubeek> get best of both worlds Lee
<Ubeek> +the
<wh0re> well my left arm isn't feeling up to it and beating off with your other arm doesn't feel as good
<wh0re> so I might just pack it in
<Ubeek> haha
<Ubeek> another bloody lefty
<wh0re> cursed at birth
<wh0re> on average we live nine years shorter than right-handers
<Ubeek> we do?
<Ubeek> dammit
<wh0re> so yeah not much going for us
<wh0re> at least we have big dicks
<Ubeek> theres always that
* Ubeek grabs his crotch
<wh0re> always an upside
<wh0re> yeah
* wh0re uses two hands to handle his moneybag
<wh0re> they don't call me the Monopoly man for nothing
<Ubeek> I could do olympic pole vaulting with this baby
<wh0re> hahaha
<Ubeek> lol
<Ubeek> 'Go to my nads. Go directly to my nads.'
<wh0re> hahahaha
<Ubeek> and theres a Get out of bukkakke free card

Quote #4240 (+4) [ 2007-11-03, 21:30 ] [ + | - | X ]

[22:26] <scruffffff> FUCK
[22:26] <scruffffff> I just superglued my mouse to my hand
[22:26] <scruffffff> :(
[22:27] <glasnt> who the fuck gave you superglue unattended, scruffff?!!/!?! LOL!
[22:27] * glasnt is finished making fun of the kids who sniff glue.
[22:27] <scruffffff> fuck
[22:28] <scruffffff> how do i get rid of this shit
[22:28] <@Sniper4800> hope you dont SG yer fingers the the keyboard then
[22:28] <scruffffff> sniper: i was fixing my mouse
[22:28] <scruffffff> and i held it together
[22:28] <glasnt> you should be able to remove it with some nailpolish remover or metholated spirits?
[22:29] <@Sniper4800> axe would be quicker
[22:29] <PharaohSam> lol it will be stuck to your hands for a few days until the layer of skin gets replaced - may have been a better idea to get a new mouse. what kinda mouse was it
[22:29] <PharaohSam> ?
[22:30] <scruffffff> wireless mighty mouse
[22:30] <scruffffff> and ill go into the lab tmr and get some acetone
[22:30] <glasnt> So.. you're gonna keep the mouse stuck to your hand over night?
[22:31] <scruffffff> unless you can think of a better idea...?

Quote #3145 (+4) [ 2005-12-17, 13:11 ] [ + | - | X ]

<macmate> i need you to twiddle your thumbs with me
<macmate> i can't do it alone

Quote #3240 (-4) [ 2006-02-04, 23:08 ] [ + | - | X ]

<mikael^cot> havent slept in2 days
<mikael^cot> im seeing how long I can go without sleep ;P
<Daemo> lol
<Daemo> 2 days isnt that uncommon
<mikael^cot> lol I know
<mikael^cot> ima try 4
<Daemo> 2 days is 48 famine type crap

Quote #2973 (+12) [ 2005-09-09, 16:19 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Tatey> mmmm melted cheese and tomato
<Ashley> Ooh. How do you melt tomato?

Quote #2396 (+7) [ 2004-11-22, 13:47 ] [ + | - | X ]

(Tensop): the only reason people watch anime is because they'd get caught perving at 14 year olds in school uniforms fighting robots anywhere else

Quote #2738 (-3) [ 2005-05-06, 16:34 ] [ + | - | X ]

*** ScibyAway has quit IRC (Quit: I was givin' some head, to some french bread, four course orgy on the spread of my bed.)

Quote #1823 (+11) [ 2004-04-12, 19:10 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Rage> you disturb me Fod.
<Fod> sometimes i disturb myself
<Fod> and all too often it ends up on ugquotes

Quote #404 (+3) [ 2003-03-18, 05:05 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Fodder> just tell them you're giggling about a pinata filled with dead kittens
<cSmith> i am too buddy :P

Quote #1420 (+6) [ 2003-12-06, 22:31 ] [ + | - | X ]

<@D_Web> Temperature: |CPU #1: 43C, CPU #2: 40C, CPU #1: 3552RPM, CPU #2: 3629RPM, Fan 3: 3629RPM|
<@D_Web> cpu #1 is always 3degrees warmer
<@D_Web> I need to get some decent thermal paste
* Draebor eyes AS5 bigass tube of love
<@Rage> please
<@Rage> keep your ass tubes of love to yourself
<@Rage> dude

Quote #1310 (+11) [ 2003-11-13, 09:42 ] [ + | - | X ]

<gatecrash> its a PC, with UV die through it
<Fatal|T0nY> hay
<Fatal|PalaNIN> who cool
<gatecrash> it enhances performance by at least 500mhz
<Fatal|PalaNIN> *whoa
<Fatal|T0nY> it looks shite
<Fatal|PalaNIN> are you serious
<gatecrashno> dude im not
<gatecrash> how can paint make a pc faster?

Quote #3151 (+8) [ 2005-12-20, 17:12 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Daltasaur> my nipple is inverted, i need ice to make it come out and play :\

Quote #974 (+29) [ 2003-08-30, 20:37 ] [ + | - | X ]

* Moose licks FreeFrags arse and grabs the cookie
<Moose> *kicks

Quote #2624 (-4) [ 2005-03-13, 23:17 ] [ + | - | X ]

<Falkor> Holy shit
<Falkor> i just woke up with my head on the keyboard
<Falkor> wtfwtf
<Rage> rofl
<knowsfords> Falkor: heh
<Falkor> i only spoke like 10 mins ago too

Quote #1320 (+4) [ 2003-11-13, 23:45 ] [ + | - | X ]

<mpot> hmm.... ":q" doesn't work when trying to exit an ssh prompt ;-)
<Radix> funny that.. neither does ZZ :)

Quote #1650 (+4) [ 2004-02-17, 13:06 ] [ + | - | X ]

<neolithic> gah
<neolithic> i got pwnzed on this big ass rock jump into water
<neolithic> like 3-4m high
<neolithic> probably higher
<neolithic> distance was good, but i landed sorta on my back :(
<Cycle> Wtf are you talking about??
<neolithic> if im not lagging, you shoulda understood all of that message.....
<Cycle> A game?
<neolithic> real life lol
<agog> mmm... real life
<Cycle> K.
<neolithic> its the newest thing
<neolithic> :P
<Cycle> Is it like half-life?
* neolithic rolls eyes slightly
<Cycle> ??
<Fragwizard> Cycle: lol. :P
<neolithic> anyway, the result of this jump means that my upper back is killing me
<Cycle> Ohhhh you mean REAL life i thought you were talking about some sort of half-life addon or somthing...
<neolithic> HAHA
<neolithic> someone catches on fast :)
<Cycle> :
<Alyra> you know you're a geek when...
<Cycle> Stfu :P